Official Text Message Thread
04-02-2009, 10:19 AM
#61
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Location: N. Phoenix, Arizona
Age: 38
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04-06-2009, 05:15 PM
#65
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: N. Phoenix, Arizona
Age: 38
Posts: 2,017
my mom sent me that one, and that is waaaaayyyy out there for my mom... Shes nothin but good and gets pissed when i fart in her kitchen
04-12-2009, 04:36 PM
#66
part time Porn Star
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: streets of MurderLAND
Age: 41
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Re: Official Text Message Thread
think your life is bad? try bein a egg. you only get laid and eaten once, it takes 20 min to get hard and the only chick to sit on your face is your mama!
04-12-2009, 04:41 PM
#68
part time Porn Star
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: streets of MurderLAND
Age: 41
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Re: Official Text Message Thread
a man asked his wife, "can i *** in your ear?" she said "no, i might go deaf." he said "thats BULLSHIT!, i *** in your mouth all the time and you never shut the **** up!"
04-21-2009, 11:47 PM
#69
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Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Knoxville,TN
Posts: 130
Re: Official Text Message Thread
its long but funny 
ittle kid..
walks up to his dad after school and says, "dad...what's the difference between realistically and theoretically?"
dad...
"well son...go ask your mother brother and sister if they would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. then come back and tell me what ya found out"
little kid...
is confused about this request, but goes to his mother. "mother, would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?"
mother....
"well son...im married and love your father, but a million dollars would really help us out, so I guess I would."
little get gets discouraged and walks to sisters room...
"sis, would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?"
sister
"hell yeah I would"
little kid nods his head and says, "that figures" and walks into the garge and finds his brother.
"brother, dad had me ask ya a weird question, and already know the answer but, would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million bucks?"
brother
scratches is head, says, " would anyone find out? I probably would for a million"
little kid in shock, goes to dad..
dad...
"well son, what did you learn"
little kid...
"well dad, everyone of them told me they would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars!"
dad...
"well son, theoretically.....we are 3 million dollars in the positive, but realistically....we live with 2 ****** and 1 queer."
ittle kid..
walks up to his dad after school and says, "dad...what's the difference between realistically and theoretically?"
dad...
"well son...go ask your mother brother and sister if they would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. then come back and tell me what ya found out"
little kid...
is confused about this request, but goes to his mother. "mother, would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?"
mother....
"well son...im married and love your father, but a million dollars would really help us out, so I guess I would."
little get gets discouraged and walks to sisters room...
"sis, would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?"
sister
"hell yeah I would"
little kid nods his head and says, "that figures" and walks into the garge and finds his brother.
"brother, dad had me ask ya a weird question, and already know the answer but, would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million bucks?"
brother
scratches is head, says, " would anyone find out? I probably would for a million"
little kid in shock, goes to dad..
dad...
"well son, what did you learn"
little kid...
"well dad, everyone of them told me they would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars!"
dad...
"well son, theoretically.....we are 3 million dollars in the positive, but realistically....we live with 2 ****** and 1 queer."
04-24-2009, 08:36 AM
#70
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: New Castle, Pa, United States
Age: 38
Posts: 341
Re: Official Text Message Thread
i truly enjoyed that one.. anyone ever use it.. i think i'm going to lol.. i'll probably get **** slapped .... 
05-13-2009, 08:33 PM
#72
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: NRH TX USA
Posts: 10
Re: Official Text Message Thread
Cops in Alabama have found a Negro nailed to a tree, 6 bullets in his head, throat cut and badly burnt. Local sheriff says it's the worst suicide he's ever seen.
When black people wear their pants down low, white people call it saggin. Now read saggin backwards.. Sneaky Crackers...
A Cracker ***** a chicken: Bird Flu. A ***** ***** a monkey: Aids. So who was the dirty wetback that fucked the pig?
BREAKING NEWS: Obama says he might not be able to fix the American economy but he's pretty sure he can ***** rig it...
When black people wear their pants down low, white people call it saggin. Now read saggin backwards.. Sneaky Crackers...
A Cracker ***** a chicken: Bird Flu. A ***** ***** a monkey: Aids. So who was the dirty wetback that fucked the pig?
BREAKING NEWS: Obama says he might not be able to fix the American economy but he's pretty sure he can ***** rig it...
05-14-2009, 11:28 AM
#75
Registered User
Join Date: May 2009
Location: NRH TX USA
Posts: 10
Re: Official Text Message Thread
Tyrone came home from school all excited. He said Mom Mom I have the biggest dick in the third grade... Is it because I'm black? His Mom said no Tyrone it's because your 16.
05-20-2009, 03:00 PM
#80
part time Porn Star
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: streets of MurderLAND
Age: 41
Posts: 2,075
Re: Official Text Message Thread
vodka..... $19.99
motel..... $54.99
condoms..$2.99
finding out she swallows and loves it in the ***.... priceless! **** mastercard, it pays to discover
motel..... $54.99
condoms..$2.99
finding out she swallows and loves it in the ***.... priceless! **** mastercard, it pays to discover
