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Official Text Message Thread

Official Text Message Thread

Old 04-02-2009, 11:19 AM
  #61  
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Re: Official Text Message Thread

Originally Posted by Dr_Rip_It View Post
the 3 biggest lies in this world are..
1. i love you
2. your check is in the mail
3. i won't *** in your face

all 3 are pretty dam ture 2 lol

damn, that's a good one.
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Old 04-04-2009, 05:08 PM
  #62  
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Re: Official Text Message Thread

Quick question. Can you get pregnant from **** sex? And if so, is it considered a crack baby or will it just grow up to be an *******?
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Old 04-04-2009, 05:10 PM
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Re: Official Text Message Thread

Tyson chicken is lookin for hard workin self motivated experienced employees! i told them you handle alot of *****! you start monday.
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Old 04-04-2009, 05:11 PM
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Re: Official Text Message Thread

hickory dickory dock, a **** was suckin a ****, her hair got tangled, the bitch got strangled, at least she swallowed the shot
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Old 04-06-2009, 06:15 PM
  #65  
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Re: Official Text Message Thread

Originally Posted by 50outlaw View Post
my mom sent me that one, and that is waaaaayyyy out there for my mom... Shes nothin but good and gets pissed when i fart in her kitchen
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Old 04-12-2009, 05:36 PM
  #66  
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Re: Official Text Message Thread

think your life is bad? try bein a egg. you only get laid and eaten once, it takes 20 min to get hard and the only chick to sit on your face is your mama!
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Old 04-12-2009, 05:38 PM
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Re: Official Text Message Thread

the post office made a new stamp in the shape of a vagina, but its bein recalled because only 3% of men know how to lick it right
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Old 04-12-2009, 05:41 PM
  #68  
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Re: Official Text Message Thread

a man asked his wife, "can i *** in your ear?" she said "no, i might go deaf." he said "thats BULLSHIT!, i *** in your mouth all the time and you never shut the **** up!"
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Old 04-22-2009, 12:47 AM
  #69  
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Re: Official Text Message Thread

its long but funny

ittle kid..
walks up to his dad after school and says, "dad...what's the difference between realistically and theoretically?"

dad...
"well son...go ask your mother brother and sister if they would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. then come back and tell me what ya found out"

little kid...
is confused about this request, but goes to his mother. "mother, would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?"

mother....
"well son...im married and love your father, but a million dollars would really help us out, so I guess I would."

little get gets discouraged and walks to sisters room...

"sis, would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?"

sister
"hell yeah I would"

little kid nods his head and says, "that figures" and walks into the garge and finds his brother.

"brother, dad had me ask ya a weird question, and already know the answer but, would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million bucks?"

brother
scratches is head, says, " would anyone find out? I probably would for a million"

little kid in shock, goes to dad..

dad...
"well son, what did you learn"

little kid...
"well dad, everyone of them told me they would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars!"

dad...
"well son, theoretically.....we are 3 million dollars in the positive, but realistically....we live with 2 ****** and 1 queer."
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Old 04-24-2009, 09:36 AM
  #70  
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Re: Official Text Message Thread

Originally Posted by sQuiD FigHTer View Post
a man asked his wife, "can i *** in your ear?" she said "no, i might go deaf." he said "thats BULLSHIT!, i *** in your mouth all the time and you never shut the **** up!"
i truly enjoyed that one.. anyone ever use it.. i think i'm going to lol.. i'll probably get **** slapped ....
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Old 05-02-2009, 06:24 AM
  #71  
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Re: Official Text Message Thread

a boy sees his dad having sex with his mom. Dad says "We're making you a little brother." Son says, "Do her doggy style, I want a puppy!"
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Old 05-13-2009, 09:33 PM
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Re: Official Text Message Thread

Cops in Alabama have found a Negro nailed to a tree, 6 bullets in his head, throat cut and badly burnt. Local sheriff says it's the worst suicide he's ever seen.

When black people wear their pants down low, white people call it saggin. Now read saggin backwards.. Sneaky Crackers...

A Cracker ***** a chicken: Bird Flu. A ***** ***** a monkey: Aids. So who was the dirty wetback that fucked the pig?

BREAKING NEWS: Obama says he might not be able to fix the American economy but he's pretty sure he can ***** rig it...
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Old 05-13-2009, 11:29 PM
  #73  
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Re: Official Text Message Thread

Teacher in the Bronx asks little Tyrone :
What does the pig say Tyrone ?
Little Tyrone answered "Hands Up Against the Wall ************ !!!"
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Old 05-13-2009, 11:30 PM
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Re: Official Text Message Thread

Do you know why black people don't dream ?
Because the last ****** that had a dream got shot !!!
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Old 05-14-2009, 12:28 PM
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Re: Official Text Message Thread

Tyrone came home from school all excited. He said Mom Mom I have the biggest dick in the third grade... Is it because I'm black? His Mom said no Tyrone it's because your 16.
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Old 05-14-2009, 01:10 PM
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Re: Official Text Message Thread

This is my favorite thread.
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Old 05-14-2009, 06:11 PM
  #77  
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Re: Official Text Message Thread

This **** is great keep em comin!
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Old 05-14-2009, 06:30 PM
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Re: Official Text Message Thread

a man is doing his girl doggy style!! she farts and the guy slaps her on the *** and says shhhhh little one your next
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Old 05-20-2009, 03:57 PM
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Re: Official Text Message Thread

wife tapes a dollar bill under her bellybutton, husband asks "what is this?" she says, "the dollar menu, all you can eat for under a buck."
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Old 05-20-2009, 04:00 PM
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Re: Official Text Message Thread

vodka..... $19.99
motel..... $54.99
condoms..$2.99
finding out she swallows and loves it in the ***.... priceless! **** mastercard, it pays to discover
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