teacher asks a boy whats the biggest word you know? boy says masturbation. teacher says wow thats a mouthful. boy says no your thinkin of *******

 

aliens are comin to abduct all woman with good ***** and men with big dicks. your not in any danger, i was just txtin you to say goodbye

 

not every flower can say love, but a rose did. not every plant can survive thirst but a cactus did. not every retard can read but look at you go

 

in 2010 the US Gov will start shipping retards away. my eyes watered when i thought of losin you. be strong wear your helmet and take your crayons

 

have you ever wanted to know what the sex postion creates the sexiest child? just ask my parents

 

a amish barn was broken into last night and some animals were molested.... were you drinkin again? damn you this **** has to stop

 

a guy asks a girl "you ever had magic sex?" girl says "how do you do that?" guy says "we **** then i disappear! tadah bitch!''

 

the police are lookin for someone who steals vibrators, swallows and likes it in the ***..... should i lie and say i dont know you?"

 

a guy gets on a plane with 6 kids. a woman says ''aww, are these your kids?" he says, "no i work for trojan, these are customer complaints."

 

the average tit weighs 2.3 lbs. do you know what the average ***** weighs? step on a scale and call me back

 

 

a pimp tells his hoe, "yo bitch, cook me sumthin that reminds you of how good i ****!" she says, "ok! a venna sausage and sum minute rice will be right up"

 

mad cow (no beef), burd flu (no chicken), and now swine flu (no pork)..... guess the only safe thing to eat is *****

 

todays ghetto word is: "omelette" example: i shuda slapped da **** outta yo *** but omelette that **** slide this time.

 

****** women!! boob jobs, nose jobs, tummy tucks, botox, pierced nipples, tattoos, bikini wax..... and the bitch wont take it in the *** cause it hurts?!?!?! WTF

 

A junkie was stayin the summer with his grandma. He walks into the living room and askes her "Grandma have you seen my pills??" She replies, "**** your pills, have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?"

 

 

 

I saw on the news that theres a naked retard riding a tricycle on the toll way. If youda called I woulda come picked u up.

 

So this chick goes to gynecologist. He tells her to put her legs in the stirrups and he turns around and screams. Chicks like wtf? Doctor says "Im sorry its just thats the biggest gaping **** Iv ever seen" The doctors words stuck in her mind just buggin the crap out of her so she when she gets home she goes in the bedroom and tears a mirror right off the wall and puts it on the floor. Then she pulls her panties off and straddles the mirror tryin to look at her *****. Just then her husband busts thru the door. "Honey are you alright I heard a crash" chick says "No no Im fine" "Oh OK then" husband says "just b careful not to fall into that big gaping hole in the floor"