Official Text Message Thread
#41
#42
Re: Official Text Message Thread
"IN GOD WE TRUST"
HOW TO START EACH DAY WITH A POSITIVE OUTLOOK
1. Open a new file on your computer.
2. Name it 'Barack Obama'.
3. Send it to the Recycle Bin.
4. Empty the Recycle Bin.
5. Your PC will ask you: 'Do you really want to get rid of 'Barack Obama?'
6. Firmly Click 'Yes.'
7. Feel better? GOOD! -
Tomorrow we'll do Nancy Pelosi! :-)
HOW TO START EACH DAY WITH A POSITIVE OUTLOOK
1. Open a new file on your computer.
2. Name it 'Barack Obama'.
3. Send it to the Recycle Bin.
4. Empty the Recycle Bin.
5. Your PC will ask you: 'Do you really want to get rid of 'Barack Obama?'
6. Firmly Click 'Yes.'
7. Feel better? GOOD! -
Tomorrow we'll do Nancy Pelosi! :-)
#44
Re: Official Text Message Thread
Say ADDICTED after every question u read:
Drugs?
Alcohol?
Sex?
What hit u in the face last night?
IT'S FUNNY CAUSE ITS TRUE!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA JUST KIDDING!!!!
Drugs?
Alcohol?
Sex?
What hit u in the face last night?
IT'S FUNNY CAUSE ITS TRUE!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA JUST KIDDING!!!!
#47
Re: Official Text Message Thread
What a woman says...
This place is a mess! C'mon!
You and I need to clean up!
Your stuff is lying on the floor and
You'll have no clothes to wear if we
don't do laundry right now!
What a man hears...
blah blah blah blah blah C'MON!
YOU AND I blah blah blah blah!
blah blah blah blah ON THE FLOOR blah
blah blah NO CLOTHES blah blah blah blah
blah blah blah RIGHT NOW!
not that funny but...
This place is a mess! C'mon!
You and I need to clean up!
Your stuff is lying on the floor and
You'll have no clothes to wear if we
don't do laundry right now!
What a man hears...
blah blah blah blah blah C'MON!
YOU AND I blah blah blah blah!
blah blah blah blah ON THE FLOOR blah
blah blah NO CLOTHES blah blah blah blah
blah blah blah RIGHT NOW!
not that funny but...
#51
Re: Official Text Message Thread
A five year old boy and his grandpa are sitting on the front porch together,
when gramps pulls a beer out of his cooler.
The little boy asks: 'Can I have a beer Grandpa?'
Grandpa replies: 'Can your pecker touch your ***?'
The little boy answered: 'No Grandpa. It's just a little pecker'.
Gramps says: 'Well then, you're not man enough to have a beer'.
A little later Grandpa lights up a cigar.
The little boy asks: 'Can I have a cigar Grandpa?'
Once again, Grandpa asks: 'Can your pecker touch your ***?'
Once again the little boy replies, 'No, it's too little'.
Gramps replies, 'Then you're not man enough to have a cigar'.
A little later the little boy comes out of the house with milk and some
Cookies.
Grandpa asks, 'Hey there young feller, can I have a cookie?'
The boy asks, 'Can your pecker touch your ***?'
Laughing, Gramps replies, 'Hell yes, my pecker can touch my ***'.
The little boy replies, 'Then go **** yourself'. Grandma made these for me'
when gramps pulls a beer out of his cooler.
The little boy asks: 'Can I have a beer Grandpa?'
Grandpa replies: 'Can your pecker touch your ***?'
The little boy answered: 'No Grandpa. It's just a little pecker'.
Gramps says: 'Well then, you're not man enough to have a beer'.
A little later Grandpa lights up a cigar.
The little boy asks: 'Can I have a cigar Grandpa?'
Once again, Grandpa asks: 'Can your pecker touch your ***?'
Once again the little boy replies, 'No, it's too little'.
Gramps replies, 'Then you're not man enough to have a cigar'.
A little later the little boy comes out of the house with milk and some
Cookies.
Grandpa asks, 'Hey there young feller, can I have a cookie?'
The boy asks, 'Can your pecker touch your ***?'
Laughing, Gramps replies, 'Hell yes, my pecker can touch my ***'.
The little boy replies, 'Then go **** yourself'. Grandma made these for me'
#55
Re: Official Text Message Thread
For some time many of us have wondered who is Jack ****? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, You dont know Jack ****? Well, thanks to my efforts you can now respond in an intellectual way. Jack **** is the only son of Awe **** who married O ****, the owners of Knee Deep N **** Inc. In turn Jack **** married Noe ****. The couple had 6 children: Holie ****, Giva ****, Fulla ****, Bull ****, and the twins Deep **** and Dip ****. Deep **** married Dumb ****, a high school dropout. After 15 years, Jack and Noe **** got divorced and she married Ted Sherlock and became Noe **** Sherlock. Meanwhile, Dip **** married Lota **** and had a rather nervous disposition named Chicken ****. Fulla **** n Giva **** married the Happens brothers n had a double wedding. The newspaper invited everyone to the ****-Happens wedding. Bull **** traveled the world and returned home with an italian
bridePisa ****. So from now on, no one can tell you that you dont know Jack ****
bridePisa ****. So from now on, no one can tell you that you dont know Jack ****
#56
Re: Official Text Message Thread
For some time many of us have wondered who is Jack ****? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, You dont know Jack ****? Well, thanks to my efforts you can now respond in an intellectual way. Jack **** is the only son of Awe **** who married O ****, the owners of Knee Deep N **** Inc. In turn Jack **** married Noe ****. The couple had 6 children: Holie ****, Giva ****, Fulla ****, Bull ****, and the twins Deep **** and Dip ****. Deep **** married Dumb ****, a high school dropout. After 15 years, Jack and Noe **** got divorced and she married Ted Sherlock and became Noe **** Sherlock. Meanwhile, Dip **** married Lota **** and had a rather nervous disposition named Chicken ****. Fulla **** n Giva **** married the Happens brothers n had a double wedding. The newspaper invited everyone to the ****-Happens wedding. Bull **** traveled the world and returned home with an italian
bridePisa ****. So from now on, no one can tell you that you dont know Jack ****
bridePisa ****. So from now on, no one can tell you that you dont know Jack ****
#59
Re: Official Text Message Thread
A five year old boy and his grandpa are sitting on the front porch together,
when gramps pulls a beer out of his cooler.
The little boy asks: 'Can I have a beer Grandpa?'
Grandpa replies: 'Can your pecker touch your ***?'
The little boy answered: 'No Grandpa. It's just a little pecker'.
Gramps says: 'Well then, you're not man enough to have a beer'.
A little later Grandpa lights up a cigar.
The little boy asks: 'Can I have a cigar Grandpa?'
Once again, Grandpa asks: 'Can your pecker touch your ***?'
Once again the little boy replies, 'No, it's too little'.
Gramps replies, 'Then you're not man enough to have a cigar'.
A little later the little boy comes out of the house with milk and some
Cookies.
Grandpa asks, 'Hey there young feller, can I have a cookie?'
The boy asks, 'Can your pecker touch your ***?'
Laughing, Gramps replies, 'Hell yes, my pecker can touch my ***'.
The little boy replies, 'Then go **** yourself'. Grandma made these for me'
when gramps pulls a beer out of his cooler.
The little boy asks: 'Can I have a beer Grandpa?'
Grandpa replies: 'Can your pecker touch your ***?'
The little boy answered: 'No Grandpa. It's just a little pecker'.
Gramps says: 'Well then, you're not man enough to have a beer'.
A little later Grandpa lights up a cigar.
The little boy asks: 'Can I have a cigar Grandpa?'
Once again, Grandpa asks: 'Can your pecker touch your ***?'
Once again the little boy replies, 'No, it's too little'.
Gramps replies, 'Then you're not man enough to have a cigar'.
A little later the little boy comes out of the house with milk and some
Cookies.
Grandpa asks, 'Hey there young feller, can I have a cookie?'
The boy asks, 'Can your pecker touch your ***?'
Laughing, Gramps replies, 'Hell yes, my pecker can touch my ***'.
The little boy replies, 'Then go **** yourself'. Grandma made these for me'
thats good lol..
#60