A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up. The husband asked, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I don't know, some woman wanting to know "if the coast is clear."

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Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!" So the first blonde hands her the compact. The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"

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A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out

and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it." The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"

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A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them. "A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy: W."

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What did the blonde say to her doctor when he told her she was pregnant? "Is it mine?"

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A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously,she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived. "My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?" "Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped. "Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car. "Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. "I was

driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to

the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I swerved to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was .... ""Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree

on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."

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Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels, and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!"

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A blonde was driving home, and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to the repair shop. The shop owner decided to have some fun, and told her just to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard & all the dents would pop out. So, she went home, got down on her hands & knees & started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. She blew a little harder & still nothing happened. Her roommate saw her and asked, "What the heck are you doing?" She told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow in the tailpipe in order to get all the dents to pop out. Her roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Uh, Hello! You need to roll up the windows first!!"

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A blonde tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it, because the car had almost 230,000 miles on it. One day, she told her problem to a brunette she worked with her at a salon. The brunette told her, "There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it's not legal." "That doesn't matter," replied the blonde, "if I only can sell the car." "Okay," said the brunette. "Here is the address of a friend of mine.

He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will 'fix it'. Then it should not be a problem to sell your car anymore." The following weekend, the blonde made the trip to the mechanic. About one month after that, the brunette asked the blonde, "Did you sell your car?" "No," replied the blonde, "Why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it!"

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So there's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?" The second blonde looks up the river then down the river then shouts back, "You are on the other side!"

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Two blondes were walking through the woods and came upon a set of tracks. One blonde said that they were deer tracks. The other blonde said that they were moose tracks. They were still arguing when the train hit 'em.

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Two blondes decided to go to Disney World.
They drove, and reached a fork in the road which had a sign: DISNEY WORLD LEFT
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So, they went home

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A few days ago I was having some work done at my local garage when a blonde came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten. We all looked at each other and another customer asked, "What is a seven-hundred-ten?" She replied, "You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, I have lost it and need a new one." She replied that she did not know exactly what it was, but this piece had always been there. The mechanic gave her a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710. He then took her over to another car which had its hood up and asked "is there a 710 on this car?" She pointed and said, "Of course, its right there."

 

seriously!!!!!!??????

 

hehehe

 

lmao

 

ok, I don't follow the last one. Even if this post makes me look dumb....I'll survive, so here goes.....What the hell is a 710? Is she talking about an air filter or what? I'll probably catch on as soon as I post this and log off........

 

OK just turn your computer monitor over and look at 710...then you will find out.

 

TWO MAIN KEY POINTS.... I guess if you don't check the oil in your car you wouldn't understand