Insensitive
07-16-2004, 05:17 PM
#282
I Enjoy Posting At StuntLife!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: .........
Posts: 2,676
Re: Insensitive
Well, after the influx of readers the last few days, I suppose I have no other choice but to write more. I'll try and wrastle something up before I leave for the weekend, otherwise on Monday. Eh who am I kidding, it's Friday, I ain't going to write s.hit
07-18-2004, 11:42 PM
#285
DNFstunt
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Mississauga, Ontario
Age: 41
Posts: 4,503
Re: Insensitive
OK I GOT A STORY
Not trying to live up to or compare to OD1's storys.....think of this as a half-time show.....
here goes..
so I'm at a shitty bar in the shitty are of west Toronto, with 2 buddys. Its slim pickins as far as ladies go, and I was single at the time, so I felt the money I had wasted on all that beer had gone right down the pisser (no pun intended)
So were gettin ready to give up and leave early, and then I spot a group of 3. The first one is tall, blond.......and trashy as hell - not my style, but I had a couple of wingmen that are used to uglies and what not, so no problem. Second chick.....chubby, but huge knockers, and a nice face - do-able as far as the beer goggles I was wearing were concerned....but there was a third girl......speaking of her.....the specs; thin, reddish brown hair, cute, nice handfull of *******, and the main quality that I was looking for that night - hammered!!!
So I'm looking everywhere in the hornball dictionary in my head of what to say to these chicks......nothing.... THEN, they start to walk over. The one that I described as ideal (aka #3 at this point) comes right up to me and says, 'we think your hot!' hmmmmm I've heard that one before, but I'm a guy and any form of speach is accepted as a pick up line, so I bite, get hooked, and the six of us get a table. So were shootin the usual poop - boring. So tubby(girl#2) takes me to dance at the suggestion of #3. So we do that,ans she can grind like a bad ***. The booze is wearing off cause I stopped drinking so I could at least one-eye it home, so I get harder than a.....i can't think of a metafore, but either way, I got wood. So we do that for a bit, then go back to the table. So #3 is trying to convince #2 to kiss me(this is where the story develops) so #3 is getting impatient and decides to do it herself.....and she ddin't skimp. she shoves her tonque down my throat like shes trying to rescue my dinner from my stomach. So we make out some more, and that was that. As soon as we stop, #2 (chubby one if u don't follow) takes me to the dance floor (at this point I've sobered up to about 80%) and she starts with the kissin'. #3 joins the dance floor soire, and decides to make it a tag-team on me make out session.....very cool.
We retun to the table, and #3 suggests that her, #2 and myslef go home to engage in a 3-some. Needless to say, I quickly agree. For the next 10 minutes (which went by in a snap) I'm sitting there thinking about how cool this is gonna be. So theres still time left before last call, and #3 is fully taking advantage of the situation by drinking her *** off. Now at this point #2 has stopped drinking to also sober up for the drive (I guess she had a thing about leaving an 89 tempo on the street allnight
) So in her new, sober state, she backs out of the 3-some arrangement. Not to state the obvious, but I'm upset.....So, time to leave now, last call and were gettin the boot. I stick around to chat with #1,2 and 3, and my 2 honorable wingmen head home. #1 wants to leave, and so does #2 (with her super important 89 tempo) So #3 (the cute one, remember?) and I stick it out front of the bar, until #1 & #2 pull away in that peice of ford motoring monument their driving....
As soon as her friends are out of site, she asks for a lift. I conquer, and we depart. I wanna ****k so I ignore her drunken directions, and head to my place. I get her there, and shes cool woth comming in, so we do just that. I get her into my room, and we sit on the bed. It takes about 2.84 seconds for her to get naked, and I do the same. I wrap it up, and we start.
Now.....by no means am I a dirty talker or a kink. I'm a regular sex sorta guy, and thats that. Shes starting with the dirty-dirty talk, and I'm giggling like a school boy with a cell phone vibrating between his legs.....umm yeah. She says **** like 'call me a ****' and '**** me like you mean it, you *****' I think to myself, why not retort with a 'dirty' comment??? I go back to that dictionary of mine, and I get this (no idea why, but this is what I said) 'ooooh yah, you want two *****, don't you?' .......................she agrees. I ask agian if she'd like it..........I get another yes. So I go with it. I grab the phone, and dial one of my wingmen. He picks up, and I put him and #3 on the phone. The talk about I don't know what. I take back the phone, and apparently I'm comming over with the dishrag. While I was yapping (quickly too) the skank passes out......I attempt to wake her up, and she just wants to sleep. FINALLY I get her up, and in the car.
We arrive at my mans house, and I load her in the basement. Now, he acts all suprised.....I told him I was bringing her, but he didn't see me leave with her. From what he understood, he assumed I had brought #2 home(i don't know how, cause she drove home in her super-cool 89 tempo) so i get her into his living room, and we dump her on the couch. we sit on either side of her, and I start to play 'mr. motivation' I coach her on and get her to kiss me, then him etc.....then I peel her top off, and things really pick up. My buddy peels her pants, and undies off, and starts fingering her like no tomorrow. I take advantage of the situation, pull dowm MY pants, get on my knees on the couch, and start to face-**** the teeth out of her mouth. This goes on for about 15 minutes(she could really take it!) My boy grabs a hand full of rubbers, and is preparing to nail her. Now he's quite drink still and is having a hard time gettin it up. While I continue the face-****ing of her lifetime, he puts on a 10 minute 'puppet show' trying to arrouse himself....pathetic yes, but finally he gets it up enough. So he bags it, and gets at er. Nails her for about 10 minutes, then wants to switch up. So I lay her down, and he puts it in her yap. I bag it up and lay into her. yada yada we both finish up, and she passes out (way too many beers) SO I go grab a drink of water, and my buddy is just sorta standing there. I walk back from the kitchen, we stiar at each other, its akward, and we agree to no longer be naked together, while the chick is passed out - shorts go on both of us, and were both feeling alot better about the clothed situation.
So were both just sorta messin with her, cause she won't wake up. My buddy starts fingering her, she won't wake up, and he thinks its just hillarious... Then he sticks a sharpie marker up her ***, and she doesn't wake up still....hes got an ear to ear smile on him, so I let him have his fun. We take a few pics, and **** with her some more. While hes having a ball over there, I root through her pockets and jacket, etc. I find her ID, see her real name and age and what not. I get bored searcing her pockets, and whip her **** back onto the floor. Anyways, I tell my buddy that I'm gonna pass out. Before he goes to his room, I hand him three bucks.....he gives me a look and a smile, and says 'what are you doing??? giving me a tip???' I reply, 'no you dumb-***.......I robbed the bitch!!! She had seven bucks, and I kept four!' we have a good laugh and both pass out.
Skip to the a.m. Me and the ho wake up, and she says that she lives sorta close by and shes gonna take a cab. I guess she goes to grab her **** and says ' i thought i had almost 10 bucks in here.....can I get a ride???' FUKKKK!!!! now i gotta get up, and i only kept 4 bucks of the loot i stole form her. So i drive her home, and she lives too close......on the way she asks if I'll call her again. Having alot of friends that sure would enjoy taggin her with me, I say sure. Rigth as I drop her off, she says it.....'I'm don't usually do things like that' I kick her *** out of the car, and say to myself, well I guess I'm not calling you again!!!!
thats it.........never ran into her again or anything........
Not trying to live up to or compare to OD1's storys.....think of this as a half-time show.....
here goes..
so I'm at a shitty bar in the shitty are of west Toronto, with 2 buddys. Its slim pickins as far as ladies go, and I was single at the time, so I felt the money I had wasted on all that beer had gone right down the pisser (no pun intended)
So were gettin ready to give up and leave early, and then I spot a group of 3. The first one is tall, blond.......and trashy as hell - not my style, but I had a couple of wingmen that are used to uglies and what not, so no problem. Second chick.....chubby, but huge knockers, and a nice face - do-able as far as the beer goggles I was wearing were concerned....but there was a third girl......speaking of her.....the specs; thin, reddish brown hair, cute, nice handfull of *******, and the main quality that I was looking for that night - hammered!!!
So I'm looking everywhere in the hornball dictionary in my head of what to say to these chicks......nothing.... THEN, they start to walk over. The one that I described as ideal (aka #3 at this point) comes right up to me and says, 'we think your hot!' hmmmmm I've heard that one before, but I'm a guy and any form of speach is accepted as a pick up line, so I bite, get hooked, and the six of us get a table. So were shootin the usual poop - boring. So tubby(girl#2) takes me to dance at the suggestion of #3. So we do that,ans she can grind like a bad ***. The booze is wearing off cause I stopped drinking so I could at least one-eye it home, so I get harder than a.....i can't think of a metafore, but either way, I got wood. So we do that for a bit, then go back to the table. So #3 is trying to convince #2 to kiss me(this is where the story develops) so #3 is getting impatient and decides to do it herself.....and she ddin't skimp. she shoves her tonque down my throat like shes trying to rescue my dinner from my stomach. So we make out some more, and that was that. As soon as we stop, #2 (chubby one if u don't follow) takes me to the dance floor (at this point I've sobered up to about 80%) and she starts with the kissin'. #3 joins the dance floor soire, and decides to make it a tag-team on me make out session.....very cool.
We retun to the table, and #3 suggests that her, #2 and myslef go home to engage in a 3-some. Needless to say, I quickly agree. For the next 10 minutes (which went by in a snap) I'm sitting there thinking about how cool this is gonna be. So theres still time left before last call, and #3 is fully taking advantage of the situation by drinking her *** off. Now at this point #2 has stopped drinking to also sober up for the drive (I guess she had a thing about leaving an 89 tempo on the street allnight
) So in her new, sober state, she backs out of the 3-some arrangement. Not to state the obvious, but I'm upset.....So, time to leave now, last call and were gettin the boot. I stick around to chat with #1,2 and 3, and my 2 honorable wingmen head home. #1 wants to leave, and so does #2 (with her super important 89 tempo) So #3 (the cute one, remember?) and I stick it out front of the bar, until #1 & #2 pull away in that peice of ford motoring monument their driving....As soon as her friends are out of site, she asks for a lift. I conquer, and we depart. I wanna ****k so I ignore her drunken directions, and head to my place. I get her there, and shes cool woth comming in, so we do just that. I get her into my room, and we sit on the bed. It takes about 2.84 seconds for her to get naked, and I do the same. I wrap it up, and we start.
Now.....by no means am I a dirty talker or a kink. I'm a regular sex sorta guy, and thats that. Shes starting with the dirty-dirty talk, and I'm giggling like a school boy with a cell phone vibrating between his legs.....umm yeah. She says **** like 'call me a ****' and '**** me like you mean it, you *****' I think to myself, why not retort with a 'dirty' comment??? I go back to that dictionary of mine, and I get this (no idea why, but this is what I said) 'ooooh yah, you want two *****, don't you?' .......................she agrees. I ask agian if she'd like it..........I get another yes. So I go with it. I grab the phone, and dial one of my wingmen. He picks up, and I put him and #3 on the phone. The talk about I don't know what. I take back the phone, and apparently I'm comming over with the dishrag. While I was yapping (quickly too) the skank passes out......I attempt to wake her up, and she just wants to sleep. FINALLY I get her up, and in the car.
We arrive at my mans house, and I load her in the basement. Now, he acts all suprised.....I told him I was bringing her, but he didn't see me leave with her. From what he understood, he assumed I had brought #2 home(i don't know how, cause she drove home in her super-cool 89 tempo) so i get her into his living room, and we dump her on the couch. we sit on either side of her, and I start to play 'mr. motivation' I coach her on and get her to kiss me, then him etc.....then I peel her top off, and things really pick up. My buddy peels her pants, and undies off, and starts fingering her like no tomorrow. I take advantage of the situation, pull dowm MY pants, get on my knees on the couch, and start to face-**** the teeth out of her mouth. This goes on for about 15 minutes(she could really take it!) My boy grabs a hand full of rubbers, and is preparing to nail her. Now he's quite drink still and is having a hard time gettin it up. While I continue the face-****ing of her lifetime, he puts on a 10 minute 'puppet show' trying to arrouse himself....pathetic yes, but finally he gets it up enough. So he bags it, and gets at er. Nails her for about 10 minutes, then wants to switch up. So I lay her down, and he puts it in her yap. I bag it up and lay into her. yada yada we both finish up, and she passes out (way too many beers) SO I go grab a drink of water, and my buddy is just sorta standing there. I walk back from the kitchen, we stiar at each other, its akward, and we agree to no longer be naked together, while the chick is passed out - shorts go on both of us, and were both feeling alot better about the clothed situation.
So were both just sorta messin with her, cause she won't wake up. My buddy starts fingering her, she won't wake up, and he thinks its just hillarious...
Then he sticks a sharpie marker up her ***, and she doesn't wake up still....hes got an ear to ear smile on him, so I let him have his fun. We take a few pics, and **** with her some more. While hes having a ball over there, I root through her pockets and jacket, etc. I find her ID, see her real name and age and what not. I get bored searcing her pockets, and whip her **** back onto the floor. Anyways, I tell my buddy that I'm gonna pass out. Before he goes to his room, I hand him three bucks.....he gives me a look and a smile, and says 'what are you doing??? giving me a tip???' I reply, 'no you dumb-***.......I robbed the bitch!!! She had seven bucks, and I kept four!' we have a good laugh and both pass out. Skip to the a.m. Me and the ho wake up, and she says that she lives sorta close by and shes gonna take a cab. I guess she goes to grab her **** and says ' i thought i had almost 10 bucks in here.....can I get a ride???' FUKKKK!!!! now i gotta get up, and i only kept 4 bucks of the loot i stole form her. So i drive her home, and she lives too close......on the way she asks if I'll call her again. Having alot of friends that sure would enjoy taggin her with me, I say sure. Rigth as I drop her off, she says it.....'I'm don't usually do things like that' I kick her *** out of the car, and say to myself, well I guess I'm not calling you again!!!!
thats it.........never ran into her again or anything........
07-19-2004, 04:40 PM
#291
DNFstunt
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Mississauga, Ontario
Age: 41
Posts: 4,503
Re: Insensitive
HAHAHA, I was waiting for the pic request.....I have them on my PC that is brutally virus infected at the moment(can't even start it up). I'm using my new laptop for now, but I'm gonna have to revive the old PC to get all of the good stuff out of it......
07-20-2004, 10:34 PM
#297
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: Insensitive
i enjoy a good horney **** story.........heh....london was fun i have a few.......lemme tell yah somethin about london chicks.........they believe in 4 things....10 bras arent cool if u have perky *****! 2) if u must wear a bra (i guess even hot chicks need to go to church or court or somethin) u must be sure that u either wear a shirt that u can see said bra through........or a shirt skimpy enough u can see said bra around (including the occasional nip). 3)drinkin till u need to hook up just to have someone carry u home is a good thing 4)when all else fails get on the tube (subway) in a short skirt and no pants (undies) and cross and uncross yer legs till the guy across from u knows exactly how many hairs u used to have down there from the bikini wax bumps.................
that bein said...........whos goin to london with me again! free room......board cheap....and plane is relativly inexpensive (like 700 or so)
that bein said...........whos goin to london with me again! free room......board cheap....and plane is relativly inexpensive (like 700 or so)
07-20-2004, 11:20 PM
#298
Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Middletown, PA/Williamsport, PA
Age: 39
Posts: 2,498
Re: Insensitive
i got a short insensative story i was ****ing my ex in the *** im drunk as hell puked on her back and thought to myself thats ****ing sick so i get up and leave and i havent talked to her in person since
07-20-2004, 11:22 PM
#299
Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Middletown, PA/Williamsport, PA
Age: 39
Posts: 2,498
Re: Insensitive
same ex had her give me head first thing when i wake up (mind you after a party at someone elses house) i have to leave for work so i leave her there to find her own ride and i go to work
07-20-2004, 11:37 PM
#300
Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Middletown, PA/Williamsport, PA
Age: 39
Posts: 2,498
Re: Insensitive
this one might take the cake for me
ok so im going out with this girl for 3 months or so didnt do her in that time so i tell her im going to this party... ok she doesnt wanna come and she goes to hang out with her friends. so at this party i dont talk to this one girl at all, someone i know is trying to get with her so eventually shes "drunk" or more like faking it and "passes" out in my lap somehow during all this she somehow "touches" my junk in a sexual way. so after a little bit im like i wanna hit this and shes kinda hot so im all for it. take her to another place and start ****ing the **** out of her for a long time and i cant do my job so i just quit and go to bed. in the middle of the night i wake up and shes up so we decide to screw again this time i get done. right after that its about 5am and my gf calls and somehow she knows right away but anyway. she wants to talk about it but all her crazy physco friends somehow currupt her oh well.... anyway i did the one girl on friday and sunday my gf comes over....... i end up ****ing her to!!!!! mind you both of these girls were virgins so 2virgins in 2 days! and i didnt talk to the first girl at all and talked to my ex for about 3 more months
no contact at all since
ok so im going out with this girl for 3 months or so didnt do her in that time so i tell her im going to this party... ok she doesnt wanna come and she goes to hang out with her friends. so at this party i dont talk to this one girl at all, someone i know is trying to get with her so eventually shes "drunk" or more like faking it and "passes" out in my lap somehow during all this she somehow "touches" my junk in a sexual way. so after a little bit im like i wanna hit this and shes kinda hot so im all for it. take her to another place and start ****ing the **** out of her for a long time and i cant do my job so i just quit and go to bed. in the middle of the night i wake up and shes up so we decide to screw again this time i get done. right after that its about 5am and my gf calls and somehow she knows right away but anyway. she wants to talk about it but all her crazy physco friends somehow currupt her oh well.... anyway i did the one girl on friday and sunday my gf comes over....... i end up ****ing her to!!!!! mind you both of these girls were virgins so 2virgins in 2 days! and i didnt talk to the first girl at all and talked to my ex for about 3 more months
no contact at all since
