I just got laid..
bp chaser
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 85,659
From: LI, NY and I drive in Australia
Re: I just got laid..
Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked,
'How old was your husband?'
'98,' she replied, 'Two years older than me'
'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented.
She responded , 'Hardly worth going home, is it?
Reporter interviewing a 104-year-old woman:
'And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?' the reporter asked..
She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.'
The nice thing about being senile is You can hide your own Easter eggs.
I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,
New knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes
I'm half blind,
Can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine,
Take 40 different medications that
Make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.
Have bouts with dementia ..
Have poor circulation;
Hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.
Can't remember if I'm 64 or 78 or whatever age.
Have lost all my friends. But, thank God,
I still have my driver's license.
I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,
So I got my doctor's permission to
Join a fitness club and start exercising.
I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.
I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But,
By the time I got my leotards on, The class was over.
My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
'How old was your husband?'
'98,' she replied, 'Two years older than me'
'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented.
She responded , 'Hardly worth going home, is it?
Reporter interviewing a 104-year-old woman:
'And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?' the reporter asked..
She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.'
The nice thing about being senile is You can hide your own Easter eggs.
I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,
New knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes
I'm half blind,
Can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine,
Take 40 different medications that
Make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.
Have bouts with dementia ..
Have poor circulation;
Hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.
Can't remember if I'm 64 or 78 or whatever age.
Have lost all my friends. But, thank God,
I still have my driver's license.
I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,
So I got my doctor's permission to
Join a fitness club and start exercising.
I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.
I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But,
By the time I got my leotards on, The class was over.
My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
bp chaser
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 85,659
From: LI, NY and I drive in Australia
Certified
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 13,792
From: Lauderdale
bp chaser
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 85,659
From: LI, NY and I drive in Australia
Re: I just got laid..
lol
I used to be a sysadmin for a video distrobution company. the company used to like to have these big video confrence calls so we can all stare at each other and try to look interested whille boring people speak. We had a big call confenced for a summer friday afternoon. All the smart people left or had vacation. I didn't want the others to feel like we didn't care so i went into the warehouse and got 6 of the cardboard marquee cutouts and cut them in half and put them in the chairs around the table.
I believe the attendents on our side were ME, neo from the matrix, crockadile dundee, barney, some random scantaly clad b movie chick, freddy kruger and will smith. I took the notes.
I believe the attendents on our side were ME, neo from the matrix, crockadile dundee, barney, some random scantaly clad b movie chick, freddy kruger and will smith. I took the notes.
bp chaser
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 85,659
From: LI, NY and I drive in Australia
what is he doing?
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 16,155
From: ny
Re: I just got laid..
ok. find out when they'll be here. if they'll be here on sunday or monday i'm down for switching rooms...you need to close the pool before they come....your mom will have a cow if she sees that this is not done yet.
bp chaser
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 85,659
From: LI, NY and I drive in Australia
Re: I just got laid..
what is he doing?
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 16,155
From: ny
Re: I just got laid..
bp chaser
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 85,659
From: LI, NY and I drive in Australia
