So I gotta change the oil on the 1k. I've been putting it off and putting it off. I'm tired from work, I'm tired from the gym, whatever... And it's 11:00pm I'm sitting here, thinking, "why the f*ck am I watching THE BACHELOR of all goddamn things, when I could be getting my bike in shape to ride."

So I roll out to the garage. In a good pair of jeans, and a nice, clean white DKNY dress shirt from work, thinking "I can do this without getting dirty...." Notch #1 on the Tard Belt.

And I start taking my cage off. Then I take my right side fairing off. And I think, "I can get the filter off with my bare hands..." Of course, I slip, railing my hand against the headers and putting a nice gash on my finger. Notch #2

I finally get the filter off, drainplug out, oil out, and I put the new filter on. Forgetting to take the clear plastic seal off the filter. My Tard Belt is starting to look like Jenna Jameson's bedpost.

So I start putting the oil in. 4 quarts and I check the sight window. Nothing. Hmmm.... that's odd. A bit more. Still nothing. I end up putting nearly 5 full quarts in, and there's still nothing in the sight window. I'm f*cking flustered like you can't believe at this point. How in the f did I just pour 5 quarts in there, and nothing's in the sight window. I sit. I think. I ask my roommate. He comes walking over... and BOOOOOM! We both jump. His ZX7 fell off the kickstand. That's a notch in his belt.

Frustrated, I put my plastic and cage back on... still thinking it's low. And then... finally it dawns on me. I've been looking at dirty oil for so long in that window, that I didn't realize that new oil is fairly clear. I've overfilled it so far that I can't see a line, even when it's on the kickstand. My knife is getting dull from all these notches. Notch #4.

Now I gotta get dirty as f*ck unscrewing the drainplug and letting out a bit at time. And I realize at this point, you can get to the drainplug without taking off the plastic, or cage for that matter. Notch #5. I am officially a tard.


PS. I'm taking on side work. If anybody needs any routine bike maintainence done, I'm your guy! Cheap too!

 

How much for an oil change ?? LOL

 

:YEAH

 

 

I don't know if I want a cheap mechanic that uses a "Tard Belt" as standard equipment

 

 

Notch #10 letting coach near your bike lol.. So does this mean you're going to RO tonight now??

 

:YEAH

 

I prolly would have gone out to RO tonight..... but I went out at lunch and blew a fork seal.

 

Hey where is the real Detroit Style at??????? Every bad thing that involves you at least comes with a great and entertaining story. I want D Style back dammit

 

Hope he doesn't charge per hour

 

That was good...