A parrot developed the bad habit of screwing the farmer's hens, which made them quit laying eggs. The farmer tells the parrot if he does it again he will pull out every feather in the parrot's head. The next day, the farmer again catches the parrot screwing a hen, and snatches the parrot bald.
The following day, the farmer's wife hosts a formal dinner. She had thought it would be unique if the parrot greeted the guests and directed them on where to go. She had spent nearly a year training the parrot for this.

As the guests began entering, the parrot dutifully announced, "Ladies to the right! Gentlemen to the left!"

Spotting two bald guys entering, the parrot says, "And you two chicken-****ers, get up here with me!"