Stunt Bike Forum - Insensitive

Please ignore any typos and my rambling, I've had too much coffee, and didn't have time to proof-read

I suppose I should start out with the events that took place last night. I'd be better off making this a diary, because my memory fails me more often than not, and I forget some of the totally absurd details of some stories. That first one I wrote, I had to do it while everything was still fresh in my mind. I was sitting there watching that all unfold, and thought to myself "I should write a book about this." I almost took out my notepad and started taking notes :laughing

So you'll recall I told you guys about this bikini contest the other night. Well it was a bit unnerving at the time, but actually gets funnier as time passes. Just something about the two scantily-clad loves of my life up on stage shaking their groove thing just didn't quite sit right. Besides their safety (there's been a rash of rapes of college women in the last few weeks, but I won't bore you with my sensitive side. The title of this thread is "Insensitive" after all :) ) I have a deep-hatred for strippers. (on a side note, I come to find out yesterday, that the rapist turned out to be a guy psycho dated during one of our off-seasons)

I'll apologize right off the bat to anyone that may be married, dating, or related to a stripper, but I absolutely hate the idea behind stripping. Not necessarily the strippers themselves. I love strip clubs, and I actually tip better than most blokes in there, but I wouldn't want my wife/girlfriend on stage showing every guy in the place her tonsils through her rear end for a dollar bill. I'd make sure there was enough money that she wouldn't have to resort to that. I actually offered Nikki the $300 prize money, if she'd rather keep her dignity, but she was content with baring all.

I wasn't really surprised that Nikki would do it. After our breakup, and still remaining friends, I came to realize she had a lot of deep-seated mental issues (I will never get involved with a girl that does not have a strong father figure, as both psycho and Nikki had horrible fathers; but that's another story). It was bad enough when she told me she was doing it, but it was worse when I found out psycho was, too. This is a girl that goes around town, bars, school, anywhere telling anybody that knows me, that she's my girlfriend! Now she's going to get on stage with my ex (that everyone knows to be my ex) and strip down to their skibbies. Call me shallow, but something in that equation seemed to undermind my demeanor.

So me being the insensitive being that I am, I'm always looking for a reason to dump psycho on her ass. I figured since everybody knows my feelings on strippers, she would realize that I was truly upset. First off, she tried to deny being there :laughing. I thought that was classic, since she had talked to Nicole while she was on the phone with me. Then she tries to convince me that it wasn't that bad, because we all know it was a classy bikini contest in a bar at midnight on a tuesday, right. She then resorts to saying "Well, Nikki did it" like that meant something to me. Me being the stubborn asshole I am, I was not budging cause I was praying this would be my out. Finally, she said I was childish, and said I should grow up, and I see some validity in that, but it meant squat to me at that point. Did I mention this was all in text messages because I was at work? :laughing

So I repeatedly stick to my line "**** Off" and she finally calls me some names, and doesn't text me for maybe a half hour. This time was quickly up and she starts pleading to me "No, please, I can't lose you, " "No, I'm not going to let you do this" and the like. Now seeing as this is psycho speaking, and this will be maybe the seventh of eight time I've broken up with her, I didn't let it get to me. This pleading was quickly followed by a call on my cell phone with her sobbing on the other end. So now I have to take a break from work, go outside, and break it down. I'm ecstatic.

Now here's where it gets funny (long build up, I know). Amber (psycho) is in the Army National Guard (all five foot nothing, 96lbs of her) and was originally in a maintenance unit, then was transferred to an infantry unit; so I was told (:rolleyes:). Now psycho has used the "I'm going off to war, marry me now or never" line in the past, but I always just laugh and tell her she's just a mechanic, and she'll be fine. This has been used liberally since 9/11 so I always joke and tell her if she can bring me the pickled testicle of a camel, I'll marry her when she gets back. Stupid shit like that.

This time, though, she doubled up on me with a line that is normally used solo, to little or no avail. The old, I'm pregnant. The best part of all this is, she had some sort of cervical cancer or something (not the funny part, I'm not that cold) and is unable to have children. I laugh. "I'm pregnant and going to war" pity bullshit. By this time, I've been out of the office for a good ten minutes, and get slightly irritated. I do it to it, I lay into the bitch. Shes used both of this lines lavishly in the 5 years I been pouring the pork to her, even if it is true this time around, I'm not going to let that stand in my way. So in the end she's balling, I'm hot under the collar, and I got to go to work. She says I love you...........click

So I get a text about an hour later, "I took too many pills not feeling good" or something to that extent. Also, a game that she has played. Even if I wasn't at work, I wouldn't go over to her place to check on her. So I call her cute little seventeen year-old sister (damn age restrictions, wait nevermind, why would I even consider psychos sister?). Her sister goes over and checks on her, where psycho lie on the bed with a half empty bottle of 20 xanex (go figure :laughing). The sister figures she only took 5 and will just feel stupid for 12 hours or so. So I tell her to douse her with water and smack her on the ass for me. Long story short (I gotta go), I'm out last night, probably 6-8 hours after this ordeal, and she's living it up at the bar. Sos I spit on the bitches car on my way out.

Sincerely,

Insensitive