A Good Reason Not to Flirt*


A couple were invited to a swanky family masked fancy dress
Halloween party. The wife got a terrible headache and told
herhusband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted
husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some
aspirin and go to bed and there was no need for his good time to be
spoiled
by not going. So he took his costume and away he went.



The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, woke without pain
and as it was still early, decided go to the party. As her husband didn't know
what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.

So she joined the party and soon spotted her husband in his
costume, cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with
every nice looking "chick" he could and copping a little feel here and a
little kiss there.


His wife went up to him and being a rather seductive babe
herself, he left his new partner high and dry and devoted
his time to her. She let him go as far as he wished, naturally, since he
was her husband. After more drinks he finally he whispered a little proposition
in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had
passionate intercourse in the back seat. Just before unmasking at midnight,
she slipped away and went home and put the costume away and got into
bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make up for his outrageous behavior.


She was sitting up reading when he came in, so she asked
kind of time he had. "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a
good time when you're not there."



Then she asked,"Did you dance much?"


He replied, "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the spare
room and played poker all evening."



You must have looked really silly wearing that costume
playing poker all night!" she said with unashamed sarcasm.

To which the husband replied, "Actually, I gave my costume
to your Dad, apparently he had the time of his life."


WOW!

 

 

ewwww :puke

 

haha EW!

 

now that was funny!

 

 

thats so gross. lol. he took it in the crapper. hahahha

 

thats fukin funny ****

 

OH NO!!

 

I miss you

 

im home..why rnt u on AIM

 

Fixed it

 

thta would be sweet if he was yelling who's ur daddy!?

 

never thought of that!

 

hahah thats yucky

 

whats wrong doesnt every family do that?

 

only in northern maine

 

here's another one.........


A Texan, a guy from Massachusetts, and a Mainer are riding horses out on the range ...

The Texan ... just to show off ... pulls an expensive bottle of whiskey out of his saddlebag, takes a couple drinks, throws the bottle into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots it in mid-air.

The guy from Massachusetts is shocked and asks, "What are you doing? That's a perfectly good bottle of whiskey!"

The Texan replies, "In Texas, there's plenty of whiskey and bottles are cheap!"

A little while later ... not wanting to be outdone ... the guy from Massachusetts pulls out a bottle of champagne, takes a few sips, throws the bottle into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots it just like the Texan.

The guy from Maine can't believe it. "What are you doing? That was a very expensive bottle of champagne!"

With a wink to the Texan he says, "In Boston, there's plenty of champagne and bottles are cheap!"

About 15 minutes later, the Mainer pulls out a bottle of beer. He opens it and takes a sip ... then another sip ... then he chugs the rest of the bottle. Then he places the bottle back in his saddlebag, pulls out his gun and shoots the guy from Massachusetts.

The Texan is visibly shaken ... "What did you do that for?!!"

The Mainer replies ... "Well, in Maine, we have plenty of people from Massachusetts and bottles are returnable."

 

hah! that is great.

 

That ****ing ruled!