od1nixer

Let me get some work done, and I'll see if I can scrape up some other tales of woe

TEACH C6

still waiting

od1nixer

Damn man
It's just eleven here, I'm still taking my morning **** at work.
Okay, just to give you guys a glimpse into Amber's (psycho) mentality, this is her text message to me this morning. I haven't talked to her since sunday night. This is from a 21 year old girl, umarried, no children, this is what she sends me at 9 in the morning

"Had adream that i was ice fishn with my kid n he fel through n died"

Gixxer_Princess

This thread it great.

Brian_C6

OMG... I'm dyin. I have so many stories about one of my ex's. I could fill a forum let along a thread.

Very funny.... keep it going. I'm dyin to relate!!

Brian

od1nixer

Okay, so I'll give you guys some background on how this all came to be. I'm not sure where I'm going with this, but if I start talking about my life, psycho always finds a way into it.

I live in a house with four other guys right now. Now Nicole used to be one of my roommates, but this was long before we ever started fooling around. At that time I was madly in love () with Nicole's best friend Nikki, stay with me now . So you guys have to understand the relationship I've got with Nicole, Nikki, and their other friend Cynthia. We were all really good friends before I ever started pouring the pork to any of them. So it was not unusual for us all to pass out in the same bed together.

At some point last summer, I broke up with psycho, and she pretended to deal with it. Until about a month later when I happened to be dating Nikki. So one of these nights when I passed out with all these girls on my bed, psycho got drunk and was looking for a late-night roll in the hay.

Now I haven't even talked to psycho in a month, and she shows up unannounced in my bedroom at 2 in the morning. I regret every day not being awake to see the look on her face when she came in my room and saw me laying in a queen-sized bed with two beautiful blondes and a tall, dark, gorgeous brunette (granted, I had done nothing with any of them that night, but it's a wonderful memory none the less). Unfortunately, I only woke up when she slammed the door on her way out.

So I awake with a start, and hear violent sobbing coming from the living room. Curious, I wander out, and to my surprise, psycho is crying her eyes out on the couch. I'm still half asleep, and I'm sure the flag was flying at at least half-mast, and now I've got to deal with this bullshit, I'm ****ing ecstatic. I yell, she cries, she cries, and I yell. I finally convince her to leave, but guess what? She locked her keys in her car. ****ing awesome. So I tells the bitch, call a tow truck or sleep on the floor. She continues to cry with out making a decision. Yay!

So I go inside and occupy myself by groping on some beautiful women in my bed. A few minutes later, I hear a racket coming from the living room. I go out to find her falling down on the floor, crying. She sees me, and throws a fit. Stumbles her way outside, and decides she's going to break her window, I laugh. So I'm standing on my porch, smoking a cigarette, and all I hear is a hollow thud! I about **** when I saw her trying to throw her limp fist through her window! So I go and grab her before she hurts herself, and she freaks. Grabs a rock, and books it towards her car. Totally misses her car, and makes in out into the street. Three rocks later, and one nice dent in the neighbors car, she breaks the window. After this drunken display, I half-heartedly tried to deter her from driving, but fortunately, I couldn't.

Gix6

Holy $hit im losing it, this is some funny stuff. keep the psycho stories coming

ChrisNoF4i

This is way better than reality TV.

paragus

ahahahahahahhaa

.. and another great story.. od1.. just write a book

od1nixer

no kidding

Angel Of Death

dude this **** is too f'n funny, best thread all year, my vote! :YEAH

od1nixer

Okay, I made the mistake of texting her back with a snide remark, so she called. Here's the convo

PsycHo: Hey honey, good morning
Me: What's up?
her: not much, what'd you do last night?
me: Got ****ed up.
her: Did ya miss me?
me: Not really?
her: Silly, did ya at least think about me?
me: Wasn't really at the top of my list
her: We should get our pictures taken
me: of what?
her: us, silly
me: why?
her: to put in christmas cards and stuff
me: why?
her: So I can send them to our friends and family so they will know we're together
me: but we're not together
her: what are you talking about silly, of course we are
me: hey I gotta go
her: okay, am I going to see you tonight?
me: probably not
her: okay well I'll see you later, I love you
me: yep
her: okay well...........
me: yep................click

Gix6

ROFL!!!!! damn man my stomach hurts that convo is hilarious!! and she just keeps talking like ur still together

ftrain

This sounds very close to home.

Angel Of Death

Dude, you could totally get her to rob a bank or something she's nuts and in love wit you, you shoudl make her do crazy things for you, tha'd be hillarious :YEAH

od1nixer

that's why I call her psycho, she ignores anything negative I say, and pretends like everything is fine.

paragus

OMFG ahahhaa its like one of those girls.. u break up with them one night.. and the next morning they are callin ya like nothing happened.

od1nixer

You have no idea. That's part of the reason I keep her around. She'll do anything to please me, she pays for everything, and she'll do anything to please me. My buddies and I were sitting around bullshitting one day, somebody said something about tongue rings, and I'm like yeah, tongue rings are cool. She went out that night and got a tongue ring. Shows up with a swollen tongue and says "Wanna give it a try?"

Gix6

be afraid be very afraid sounds like u need to have her admitted

Brian_C6

I'm giving into this thread.... I have one.

I referred to my ex as "Wall-Banger". Her last name was Wollinger so it seemed fitting back then. . Anyway, Senior Year in High School and I'm seeing "Wall-Banger". She's doesn't have a license and insists on NOT taking the bus home after school. You know where this is headed..... yeah, I'm expected to drive her *** around all the time. That's ok, but on this particular day I had to work after school. For some reason this girl thought after school time was OUR time.... not WORK time. "Wall-Banger" used to get creative and think of ways to keep use "together" everyday after school and this day was absolutely no exception.

So the bell rings and I'm heading out to the parking lot. I told her earlier that day I needed to be at work early so I couldn't drive her home.... guess she didn't believe me because there she was, beside my truck waiting for me. Now I'm stuck with her and I can see this is going to be a fun-filled afternoon. She begins to tell me she hasn't taken the bus in months and she isn't starting today.... GREAT!! Now she's standing in front of the drivers door, arms crossed, blocking me from entering my truck. She won't move until I agree to driver her home (as if I had a choice at this point). I agree and tell her to go around to the passengers side. She's walks around the truck, I get in, lock the doors, and wave to her outside. I start the truck and proceed to leave without her. Next thing I know, she's jumping into the bed of the truck.... oh, this is classic. Now I have Wall-Banger in the back of my truck and I need to get to work in 5 minutes. What am I going to do?? So I leave her in there and decide to drop her off at my house. My house is closer than hers and I'm seriously running late now. We get to my house (she's still in the bed of the truck and BTW it's January ). We pull into my garage and she won't get out of my truck. She refuses to get out until I talk to her. I keep refusing and after 15 minutes she gets out with a hammer in her hand.... I guess she found it in the truck bed. She finds her way to the front of the truck (blocking me from leaving) and begins to threaten me with the hammer. She said, "If you don't get out, I'm hitting the truck with this". Right about now, I'm seriously starting to lose it. In the meantime, with all this yelling and screaming, my mother makes her way to the garage. She wants to see what's the commotion is. She opens the door and see's Wall-Banger holding a hammer in the air yelling at me. I decide to get out of my truck to hopefully END this situation but this didn't seem help.... looking back, I'm thinking this is the point when Wall-Banger feels she's being ganged up on. So out of nowhere she slams the hammer down on my hood and THEN kicks me in the *****!! I hit the floor. My mom see's this and runs across the garage. She grabs Wall-Banger by the hair and drags her out into the front lawn... WHOOOHOOO, GO MOM!!! Mom shuts the garage door and locks it. Wall-Banger is now outside banging on the garage door screaming and crying, "Let me in!!!". I'm still on the ground holding me twigs and berries, my hood is all smashed in, my mother is trying to compose herself and we're both completely in awe over what just happened, and I STILL need to get to WORK!!

It took about an hour before Wall-Banger got the hint and she left. I think she ended up taking public transportation home (which means she took a bus anyway). I showed up to work 2 hours late. Of course I called her when I got out of work, went to her house, hate ****ed her, and went home

Makes you wonder who had the problems here?

Lata,
Brian