Ahh **** happy B-day bro :YEAH

 

happy bday od1, run for prez!!

 

Gasp!** You guys remembered! I've heard happy birthday more from people on stuntlife than I have in person. That's so...............so............well.. sort of gay. Now quit reminding me I'm getting even more aged, I'm quickly running out of sand in the clock. I think I'm going through a mid-life crisis (or a quarter-life crisis depending on who's timeline you're on).

I'm having trouble doing something with my life. Not that I really want to do something with my life, as I'm sort of enjoying my non-existence. But there's always that sinking feeling in the back of my mind that I'm wasting my life. I think it's either imprinted from a blue-collar hard-working family, or my family outright telling me I'm wasting my life; I'm not sure which. Apparently I'm the black sheep of the family, and God forbid I drag their name through the mud So the people that are supposed to support and love me would rather call me a f.uck-up than be happy for the fact that I'm me.

It's not a meaning of life problem, that's not it at all. Anybody that searches for a meaning in life is an idiot. Do you want to know the meaning of life? We're here to fertilize the earth. We are here to breathe oxygen, hold the food chain together, and die only to become part of the rock we call Earth. Period. Anything else was just a fluke. We are merely a cell in the organism that is the Universe. Your "God" doesn't have some lame-*** plan for you. God is a cartoon character that was made up to hold people's attention; to give the simpletons direction so they don't start flinging feces. God has been the scapegoat used to create some of the largest organizations of human power in history. Sorry about the rant, and I hope I offended someone. I can do that because I am a creature of my own free will. The only force that is going to change my path in life is me, or another human being. Seeing as that is the case, I feel like any problem I have is in my mind. If you get some wild hare up your *** to educate me on religion or your opinions, save it. This is not the time nor the place for such. Not to mention the fact that despite anything you might have to say, the clouds will not part to reveal the image of God to inspire me to make a mind-blowing revelation. It just won't happen.

Why the f.uck am I talking about God and religion, anyways? What the hell am I talking about, period? I started writing this a few hours ago, and I'm not nearly as stoned as I was then. Hmm.... Well, you guys wanted to know about Brandi, eh?

What do I say about Brandy? I've heard the saying "You take the good with the bad" and that has been quite fitting in several aspects of my life. On one hand, she's an awesome girl and fills so many of the requirements that she should. But on the other hand, she leaves some things to be desired. We get along great, I couldn't believe it at first, but we have very similar personalities. She's had a good job for several years, her own place, her own life, her own car, etc. My house hasn't been this clean as long as I've lived in it. My laundry gets done faster than I can take it off my body. She's hot, and she just might be able to consume as many drugs as I could. I don't have to hide all the normal things that I hide from a girlfriend, so I'm at ease most of the time rather than being worried. She's not necessarily book smart, but she's got a good head on her shoulders. She's hard working, devoted, and dependable. Everything should be gravy, right?

Well, as it turns out, I've hit a few speed bumps. I'm not too sure how to word this in order to save face, but probably 2 out every 3 times we sleep together, I don't get off. I'm not saying we've only slept together 3 times (obviously), I'm saying that's the ratio. I don't know what it is, but every time we're scrogging, she manages to do or say something that just totally dismantles my erector set. Boom, done, nothing, nada, zip. It's like flipping a light switch, one minute the light is shining so bright it's about to explode, and the next it just shuts off. The wierd thing is she's the only girl I have this problem with. If something like that were to happen with another girl, it would just add fuel to the fire and I'd f.uck her harder. If you ever hear me say I hate-f.uck a woman, I HATE-F.UCK a bitch. You do or say something stupid when we're scrogging, you better put on a helmet because I'm gonna bounce your head off the drywall until you're unconscious.

It's hard to explain, becuase she's really not that bad in bed. She's actually pretty fiesty, she's got a nice body, she ain't shy, and she's got a more than healthy appetite. Sometimes we just get really out of sync. She'll move in a totally wrong direction, or her rythm is off, or other stupid **** that commonly happens during intercourse and foreplay. Never been a problem before, but all of a sudden I'm getting hung out to dry. You think things can't get any worse? Well, give her a minute. Now I got to explain to her why. Two hours, and three screaming orgasms later, she can't understand why I didn't ***, yet I'm limper than a wet noodle and putting on my shoes to go to the garage to jerk off to the thought of my car. What would you say? I'll take a lesson from the Bobbits, and refrain from telling her it's her fault as I sit there with my **** out. The whole time she's talking about it, trying to repair the situation, I'm just getting more pissed off, and definitely not getting any harder. Maybe I'm getting old, maybe it's the dope, maybe she's too old. Did I mention she's 24? She's quite a bit further along on her life's timeline than my normal hussy of 18-20 years old.

I'm trying to not be shallow about the situation, but most women don't understand that despite the fact I might sleep with another woman from time to time, she's still the one I love and come home to every night. So I'm kind of stuck. I don't want to hurt her, but I need to get mine. So it looks like I might be headed towards the eye of the storm. Luckily when you're right in the middle of the storm, the eye, it's sort of peaceful in an eerie sort of way.

 

happy b-day man i got you a gift but i already used her. sorry

 

Happy birthday!!!!!!!!

 

Happy birthday...in a straight way. haha.
Post some pics of brandie up!

 

that's all i can say about this entire thread......

 

u first......

 

 

I want to buy that shirt. where can I get it. and yes, more ****!

 

Well, I've read this from start to finish, took me 5 hours but I did it! Good times. I've got a couple psycho stories but I'll get back to them later.


BTW. Suzukibabe pics

 

Kyle..... u suck! i hate the first and last pic. damn u

 

.......... kyle, i hate u

 

I knew that was coming!

 

what if i already hate u ...........

Kyle, take those down!!

 

no pictures.......... more stories!!!

 

You look like that annoying blonde neighbor in Grace Under Fire who later went on to star in that Witch show with Clarissa from Clarissa Explains it all, but you're skinnier and that means hotter. Lets bang :YEAH