aaaah the wind is just right for a blonde joke....

why did the blonde run out of gas ?
she couldnt figure out why when she got into the car it still said empty.

a pettifile, a priest, and a child molester walk into a bar....
oohh wait.... there the same person

man walks into a bar and says to the bartender. i just got into a fight with the old lady.
bartender says well what did she say to you.
man says to the bartender... she said get out from under the bed you *****.

 

Those are pretty bad..

 

You should bow your head in shame

 

2 guys walk into a bar. You'd think the 2nd one would have ducked.

 

Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay,preventing plaque buildup

 

What the difference between 15 15lb bowling ***** and 15 dead babies?

I don't have 15 15lb bowling ***** stacked in my closet!

Flip

 

Somehow that’s quiet believable...

 

A girl came skipping home from school one day. “Mommy,
Mommy,� she yelled, “we were counting today, and all the
other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10.
See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8,9, 10!�

“Very good,� said her mother.

“Is it because I’m blonde?�the girl said.

“Yes, it’s because you’re blonde,� said the mommy.

The next day the girl came skipping home from school.
"Mommy, Mommy,� she yelled, “we were saying the alphabet
today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I
said it to G. See? A, B, C, D,E, F, G!�

“Very good,� said her mother.

“Is it because I’m blonde, Mommy?�

“Yes, it’s because you’re blonde.�

The next day the girl came skipping home from school.
�Mommy, Mommy,� she yelled,�we were in gym class today,
and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests,
but I have these!� lifting her tank top to reveal a wonderful
pair of C-cuppers.

“Errm, very good, dear,� said her embarrassed mother.

“Is it because I’m blonde, mommy?�

“No Honey, it’s because you’re 24....�

 

Two nuts walkin down the road...
ones " asalted "

 

WOW THATS ALL I CAN SAY AND I SAID IT IN CAPS

 

What is trust?





2 canables sucking each other off.

 

Two teenage boys are caught with drugs, they both get arrested and later on they are before the judge and he says you boys can either go to jail or try help with the drug war and deter others from drugs...

A month later the boys are back and the judge ask "how did you do?"

I got 17 people to quit using drugs..." how did you do that the judge asked?"

"Well, I drew two circles, one big and one small...I pointed at the big cirlce and told them this is your brain before drugs and then I pointed to the small circle and said this is your brain after."

"That is great," the judge replied, "GOOD JOB!"

The judge ask the second boy how he did and he replied "sir I got 157 people to stop doing drugs!"

"WOW, how did you do that!" The judge asked eagerly?

"Well I drew two circles too, one small and one big. I pointed to the small circle and told them this is your ******* before prison...."

Flip

 

whats a serial killers pickup line at a bar?

does this smell like chloraform?

 

Homer, a handsome dude, walks into a sports bar around 9:58 PM. He sits down next to this blonde at the bar and stares up at the TV. The 10:00 news was on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump. The blonde looks at Homer and says, do you think he will jump? Homer says, you know, I bet he'll jump. The blonde replied, well, I bet he won't. Homer placed $20 dollars on the bar and said, you're on! Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset and handed her $20 dollars to Homer and said, all is fair, here is your money. Homer replies, I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump. The blonde replies, I did too, but I didn't think he'd do it again.

 

so i ask my date to f-ck her between the t!ts
she says to me how r u ganna make that feel good for me?
i say just b for i c-m ill stop punching you in the face

 

hahaha sick man sick.. but then again she probably deserved it..

 

somethings are the same no matter where you go... if it feels like more than two fingers.. its probally a d!ck

 

you ever make fun of someone so much you think you should thank them for all of the good times you had

 

i once offered a girl a tiktac once ... she says do i need one ? am i fat? do i have bad breath? i said if i was going to offer something you need id give you some mustashe wax and a shirt that says one c0k at a time

 

theres such a fine line between cuddling... and holding some one down so they dont get away