Squid Anthem

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Old Dec 23, 2003 | 02:17 PM
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Squid Anthem

1) admit your bike sucks
2) spend a bunch of money making it lighter (carbon fiber, magnesium, titanium). spend a lot of time cutting off all those little frame bits that you don't need anymore, because you'll NEVER want the bike street-legal ever again.

3) admit your bike still sucks, but is easier to load into the truck

4) spend a bunch of money to make more horsepower

5) admit that your bike not only sucks, but is unreliable

6) spend a bunch more money so the power you bought *is* reliable

7) admit that the bike is fast, but unridable

8) spend a bunch of money getting your suspension redone

9) admit your bike is fast, unridable, and more expensive

10) spend lots of time trying all those settings, and getting no changein lap times.

11) admit that you have no idea what all those ***** and screw are for, and find someone who knows what they're doing, suspension wise.

12) admit that your bike is now light, fast, and handles great, but that you suck.

Note: If you stay with the sport long enough, you can repeat this cycle endlessly. Subsequent cycles can omit all odd-numbered steps, and consolidate the even numbered steps except 12, giving my patent-pending "Two Step Program for Racing":

1) Throw all available money at the bike

2) And realize "I still suck"
Old Dec 23, 2003 | 10:57 PM
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Old Dec 28, 2003 | 10:18 AM
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Old Jan 3, 2004 | 08:10 PM
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Old Jan 4, 2004 | 10:37 AM
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FUnny beavers
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