Thought this was fitting in light of our monthly meeting tomorrow...

Enjoy! :YEAH

One Star Hangover (*)

>No pain. No real feeling of illness. You're able to function relatively well However, you are still parched. You can drink 5 sodas and still feel this way. For some reason, you are craving a steak & fries.
>
>Two Star Hangover (**)
>
>No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay, but you have the mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you are chugging is only increasing your rumbling gut, which is still tossing around the fruity pancake from the 3:00 AM Waffle House excursion. There is some definite havoc being wreaked upon your bowels.
>
Three Star Hangover (***)
>
>Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely not productive. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the flavored schnapps shots your alcoholic friends dared you to drink. Life would be better right now if you were home in your bed watching reruns. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 3 iced teas and a diet Coke --- yet you haven't peed once.
>
>Four Star Hangover (****)
>
>Life sucks. Your head is throbbing. You can't speak too quickly or else you might puke. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but that can't hide the fact that you only shaved one side of your face. (For the ladies, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the bumper cars.) Your eyes look like one big red vein, and even your hair hurts. Your sphincter is in perpetual spasm, and the first of about five ***** you take during the day brings water to the eyes of everyone who enters the bathroom.
>
Five Star Hangover (*****)
>
>You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying the employee who sits in the next cube. Vodka vapor is seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth in an attempt to get the remnants of the poop fairy out. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva so your tongue is suffocating you. You don't have the foggiest idea who the hell the stranger was passed out in your bed this morning! Any attempt to defecate results in a fire hose like discharge of alcohol-scented fluid with a rare floater' thrown in. The sole purpose of this 'floater' seems to be to splash the toilet water all over your ***. Death sounds pretty good about right now!
>
>
>THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:
>
>Indubitably
>Innovative
>Preliminary
>Proliferation
>Cinnamon
>
>
>THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:
>
>Specificity
>British Constitution
>Passive-aggressive disorder
>Loquacious Transubstantiate
>
>THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:
>
>Thanks, but I don't want to have sex
>Nope, no more booze for me
>Sorry, but you're not really my type
>Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight
>Oh, I just couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing
>
>

Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:
>
>
>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
>
>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
>
>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
>
>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again you love them.
>
>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
>
>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
>
>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
>
>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.
>
>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
>
>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing with you.
>
>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
>
>WARNING: the konsumshun of alcohol may Mack you tink you can tipe reel gude.

>
>"Life isn't like a box of chocolates, it's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your *** tomorrow."

 

Did you say Jager bombs....

 

hahahahaha. Everyone should keep that in mind 2morrow

 

that **** reads like the chapters in my autobiography

 

I think I've got a solid idea as to what y'all are all about, and for some reason, I don't think ridin' is #1....

Well, sober ridin' at least...

cheers

 

Sober ridin is #1...


But now when its time to go out...

 

<Warning: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to pass out and wake up looking like a piece of grilled chicken(there will be photos to prove this)


<Warning: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to have someone lick your ***

 

Those are awesome

 

Good post, sober ridin is #1, so everyone bring a car and a fistful of dollars

 

MMMMMMMMMBEEEEEEEEEEEER!!!

 

Or bring the fiddys and wear padded clothes..

Drunk tag!!

 

race...


Jager bomb relays...



One at the bar one at my house... :YEAH