I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart one day and was in line to
check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
On impulse, I told her "no" but that I was starting The Purina Diet again,
although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital the last
time I was on the diet but I HAD lost 50 pounds before I awakened in the
Intensive Care Unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in
both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way it works
is that you load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one
or two every time you feel hungry. Plus the food is nutritionally complete
so I was going to try the diet again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story,
Horrified, the woman asked me if I'd ended up in the ER because I'd been
poisoned by the dog food.
No..I was lickin' my ***** on the curb and got hit by a car!