I'm sure some of you will want to use these...


1. You know what would look great next to that outfit?
The rug on my bedroom floor.

2. if I could change the alphabet I would put U and I together"

3. I'm going to have to call the cops right now. You've stolen my heart.

4. Are you a parking ticket? Because you have fine written all over you

5. If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in

6. I want to crawl inside you and eat my way out!

7. Are you free tonight or will it cost me?

8. Excuse me, do you have any raisins? No? Well then how about a date?

9. You don't smell bad for a fat chick.

10. You look like my next girlfriend.

11. Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only Ten I See.

12. Hi, do you mind if I ask, do you have any Irish in you?
Would you like some?

13. You might not be the best looking chick here, but beauty is only a light switch away....

14. Honey, these ***** aren't going to lick themselves

15. I may not look like much, but I'm the only one talking to you

16. If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?

17. Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart.

18. Your eyes are blue, like the ocean. And baby, I'm lost at sea.

19. Excuse me, I think you have something in your eye. Nope, it's just a sparkle

20. I have only three months to live

21. Are you a Pirate? Because you got treasure in that chest!

22. Yes, I have a small Johnson, but I make up for that by being quick

23. "Your eyes make me want to take off my clothes."

24. Good evening. May a thorn sit down amongst the roses?

25. I was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran into that wall over there. So I am going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.

26. Is your father a baker? Cuz you have a great set of buns!

27. How's about you and I go halvsies on a bastard?

28. "if I could be anything in the world, it would be a tear born in your eye, living on your cheek and dying on your lips"

29. (hold out hand) Would you hold this for me while I go for a walk?

30. Hey! You look like you have low standards too!

31. Excuse me, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

32. Dip your finger in your drink, touch your shoulder.
Dip your finger in your drink, touch her shoulder.
"What do you say you and I get outta these wet clothes??"

33. If you were a booger I'd pick you first

34. "If I told you you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?"

35. That's one ugly dress...take it off."

36. I'm sorry miss. You have a belly button problem.
It's not on top of mine.

37. Is it hot in here, or is it you?

38. Are you a meat eater?

39. Honey, you're sweeter than 3.14159…………..

40. Do you work for UPS, because I thought I saw you checking out my package.

41. You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me

42 I've lost my phone number, can I borrow yours

43. did you know the human body has 206 bones in it? would you like another?

 

thats good ****!! im gonna have to use a couple of those...

 

I want to go halvesies on a bastard.

 

Sorry, but my favorite was.....



32. Dip your finger in your drink, touch your shoulder.
Dip your finger in your drink, touch her shoulder.
"What do you say you and I get outta these wet clothes??"

 

Is there a keg in your pants? cause i'd like to tap that ***...

I always thought that one was funny.

















and it never works

 

I always liked..

Walk up, grab her *** and ask, "excuse me, is this seat taken?"
or
You know what winks and screws like a tiger? *wink*

Hold out your index and middle finger and ask, "you know why you should use these two fingers to **********?... Because they're mine!"

"is your daddy a terrorist? Cause you're the bomb!"

"wanna get a pizza and ****? no? what you don't like pizza?"

I could think of a few more, but I'm off to bed... Good night.

 

Excuse me, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

thats how kim and I got together