+ Coon huntin' is considered to be evangelism

+ You use saltines and Cheerwine for communion

+ Your pastor wears a camouflage robe

+ There's a deer head mounted above the pulpit

+ The praise and worship team got their instruments from the pawnshop

+ There are cars on cinder blocks in the church parking lot

+ Your bulletin has the NASCAR schedule printed in it

+ They show episodes of Hee Haw in children's church

+ On men's workday you burn the yard instead of mowing it

+ The speakers for the sound system came from the local drive-in

+ You're raising catfish in the baptismal

+ They use garden hoses for teething rings in the nursery

+ The linens in the bathrooms have "Days Inn" printed on them

+ There's a copy of Hunter's Digest in every pew

+ The church secretary has a tattooing kit on her desk

+ The men's fellowship meets at the tractor pull

+ You see cigarette butts in the offering plate

+ You have a chainsaw player on your praise and worship team

+ The deacons get the toilet paper from the Exxon bathroom

+ You have a group baptism at the car wash

+ The prayer teams also double as hog-callin' teams

+ The missionaries are funded through KoolAid points and Campbell's soup

labels

+ When anointing the sick you use lard

+ "Dueling Banjos" is your benediction

+ The entire congregation is praying for a call from the Governor to spare an elder

 

You post a lot of jokes, maybe I should stop reading and start contributing