rectum stretcher
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Regular StuntLifer
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 607
From: Masshole
rectum stretcher
While I was driving down the road the other day (going a little faster
> than I should have been) I passed over a bridge only to see a cop on the
> other side with a radar gun laying in wait.
> The cop pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic
> patronizing smirk we all know about asked "what's your hurry?"
> To which I replied, "I'm late for work."
> To which he asked, "What do you do?" "I'm a rectum stretcher," I
> responded.
> The cop was surprised and confused. "A what? A rectum stretcher?? And
just
> what does a rectum stretcher do?"
> "Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up
to
> two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in I work
side
> to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely
> stretch the hole, until it's about 6 feet."
> Then the cop asked questioningly and cautiously, "And just what do you do
> with a six-foot *******?"
> To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him
behind
> a bridge..."
> Traffic ticket: $95.00
> Court costs: $45.00
> Look on cop's face ... Priceless
> than I should have been) I passed over a bridge only to see a cop on the
> other side with a radar gun laying in wait.
> The cop pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic
> patronizing smirk we all know about asked "what's your hurry?"
> To which I replied, "I'm late for work."
> To which he asked, "What do you do?" "I'm a rectum stretcher," I
> responded.
> The cop was surprised and confused. "A what? A rectum stretcher?? And
just
> what does a rectum stretcher do?"
> "Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up
to
> two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in I work
side
> to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely
> stretch the hole, until it's about 6 feet."
> Then the cop asked questioningly and cautiously, "And just what do you do
> with a six-foot *******?"
> To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him
behind
> a bridge..."
> Traffic ticket: $95.00
> Court costs: $45.00
> Look on cop's face ... Priceless
********* 
Super-Thread-editor
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 7,327
From: Back in Indiana,(Muncie)
Re: rectum stretcher
Originally Posted by playa
Bullshit, that is the funniest thing I have ever heard. Did you say all that with a straight face or were you grinnin the whole time?
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