Newspaper Ads--Funny
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Registered User
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 150
From: Elizabethtown, IN
Newspaper Ads--Funny
Got this in an email and wanted to share with you guys!! 
Real classified ads from newspapers
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 YEARS OLD. HATEFUL LITTLE DOG. BITES.
----------------------------------
FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 COCKER SPANIEL 1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG.
----------------------------
FREE PUPPIES... PART GERMAN SHEPHERD, PART STUPID DOG.
------------------------------
GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE.
-------------------------------------
FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG. LOOKS LIKE A RAT... BEEN OUT AWHILE...
BETTER BE A REWARD.
-----------------------------------
1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB -- $850/offer
----------------------------
SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE... ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.
-------------------------------
COWS, CALVES NEVER BRED... ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE.
-------------------------------
NORDIC TRACK $300 HARDLY USED, CALL CHUBBY.
-------------------------------------
HUMMERS - LARGEST SELECTION EVER - "IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!"
---------------------------------------
GEORGIA PEACHES, CALIFORNIA GROWN - 89 cents lb.
------------------------------------------
TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR? WE OFFER PROFIT SHARING
AND FLEXIBLE HOURS. STARTING PAY: $7 -- $9 PER HOUR.
-------------------------------------------
EXERCISE EQUIPMENT: QUEEN SIZE MATTRESS & BOX SPRINGS - $175.
-------------------------------------------
JOINING NUDIST COLONY! MUST SELL WASHER & DRYER $300.
------------------------------------------
ALZHEIMER'S CENTER PREPARES FOR AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER.
-------------------------------------------
OPEN HOUSE: BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON. FREE COFFEE & DONUTS.
--------------------------------------
(AND THE BEST ONE)
FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes.
Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed.
Got married last month. Wife knows everything.
Real classified ads from newspapers
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 YEARS OLD. HATEFUL LITTLE DOG. BITES.
----------------------------------
FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 COCKER SPANIEL 1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG.
----------------------------
FREE PUPPIES... PART GERMAN SHEPHERD, PART STUPID DOG.
------------------------------
GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE.
-------------------------------------
FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG. LOOKS LIKE A RAT... BEEN OUT AWHILE...
BETTER BE A REWARD.
-----------------------------------
1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB -- $850/offer
----------------------------
SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE... ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.
-------------------------------
COWS, CALVES NEVER BRED... ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE.
-------------------------------
NORDIC TRACK $300 HARDLY USED, CALL CHUBBY.
-------------------------------------
HUMMERS - LARGEST SELECTION EVER - "IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!"
---------------------------------------
GEORGIA PEACHES, CALIFORNIA GROWN - 89 cents lb.
------------------------------------------
TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR? WE OFFER PROFIT SHARING
AND FLEXIBLE HOURS. STARTING PAY: $7 -- $9 PER HOUR.
-------------------------------------------
EXERCISE EQUIPMENT: QUEEN SIZE MATTRESS & BOX SPRINGS - $175.
-------------------------------------------
JOINING NUDIST COLONY! MUST SELL WASHER & DRYER $300.
------------------------------------------
ALZHEIMER'S CENTER PREPARES FOR AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER.
-------------------------------------------
OPEN HOUSE: BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON. FREE COFFEE & DONUTS.
--------------------------------------
(AND THE BEST ONE)
FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes.
Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed.
Got married last month. Wife knows everything.
Regular StuntLifer
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 119
From: FL
Re: Newspaper Ads--Funny
FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes.
Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed.
Got married last month. Wife knows everything. [/FONT] [/B][/QUOTE
The best one.T :YEAH :YEAH hats how it is
Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed.
Got married last month. Wife knows everything. [/FONT] [/B][/QUOTE
The best one.T :YEAH :YEAH hats how it is
funny **** there 
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