Michael Jokes....You've all seen these before I'm sure
01-20-2004, 11:55 AM
#1
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Posts: 1,546
Michael Jokes....You've all seen these before I'm sure
My grandpa sent these to me :eek
Q: Have you heard about Michael Jackson's New Book?
A: It's called "The In's and Out's of Child Rearing."
Q. How do you know Michael Jackson is having a party?
A. There are a bunch of tricycles in front of his house.
Q: Why was Michael Jackson spotted at K-Mart?
A: He heard some boys' pants were half-off!
Q. When is it bed time at Michael Jackson's house?
A. When the big hand is on the little hand!
Q. What do Michael Jackson and a jockey have in common?
A. They both ride three year olds.
Q. What's the worst stain to try and remove from a little boy's underpants?
A. Michael Jackson's makeup.
Q. Why does Michael Jackson disappear for a couple hours after one of his little friends leaves?
A. It takes that long to get the bubble gum off his dick.
Q. What did the lady at the beach say to Michael Jackson?
A. I believe you're in my son.
Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
A. One is plastic and harmful to children, the other is used to carry groceries.
Q. What does Michael Jackson consider a perfect 10?
A. Two 5 year olds.
Q. Why did Michael Jackson decide to have a boy of his own?
A. Because it's too expensive to rent them at $2 million a pop!
Q: What's icky and in a baby's diaper?
A: Michael Jackson's hand!
Q: What do Michael Jackson and a Big Mac have in common?
A: They're both 44 year old meat between 10 year old buns!
Q: What's black on the inside, white on the outside, and comes in little cans?
A: Michael Jackson!
Q: Why did Pepsi fire Michael Jackson?
A: Because he was caught sucking on a Squirt!!
Q. Who is the greatest person ever?
A. Michael Jackson - he was born a poor black boy in Gary, Indiana and grew up to become a rich white woman in Europe.
Q. What did Elvis say after seeing Michael and Lisa Marie on television?
A. "Boy, that's a relief. I though she married a black guy!"
Q. What did Lisa-Marie Presley say to Michael Jackson when he proposed?
A. "Yes, I'll marry you. But promise me one thing -- no kids!"
Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley?
A. About two dress sizes.
Q. What were Lisa-Marie's newlywed complaints about Michael Jackson?
A1. He leaves the lid off the mascara, causing it to dry out.
A2. That battleaxe Liz Taylor never calls before she comes over.
A3. She suspects he's using her to get to Elvis' bones.
A4. He touches her kids more than he touches her.
Q. Why did Michael Jackson cross the road?
A. He saw someone blowing bubbles and thought he'd join in. (The famous chimp was named Bubbles)
Q. Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men?
A. He thought it was a delivery service.
Q: Why are Michael Jackson's pants so small?
A: Because they aren't his!
Q. How did Michael Jackson get in trouble?
A. He was feeling a little Randy.
Q. Why does Michael Jackson like children so much?
A. He knows how they feel.
Q. What did Michael Jackson say when he got back to Neverland Ranch from drug rehab?
A. You know, I feel like a new boy!
Q. How do we know Michael Jackson is guilty?
A. Several children have fingered him.
Q. Where does Michael Jackson go to find a date?
A. Boys 'R Us.
Q. Why is Michael Jackson so tough?
A. He can lick any kid on the block.
Q: Have you heard about Michael Jackson's New Book?
A: It's called "The In's and Out's of Child Rearing."
Q. How do you know Michael Jackson is having a party?
A. There are a bunch of tricycles in front of his house.
Q: Why was Michael Jackson spotted at K-Mart?
A: He heard some boys' pants were half-off!
Q. When is it bed time at Michael Jackson's house?
A. When the big hand is on the little hand!
Q. What do Michael Jackson and a jockey have in common?
A. They both ride three year olds.
Q. What's the worst stain to try and remove from a little boy's underpants?
A. Michael Jackson's makeup.
Q. Why does Michael Jackson disappear for a couple hours after one of his little friends leaves?
A. It takes that long to get the bubble gum off his dick.
Q. What did the lady at the beach say to Michael Jackson?
A. I believe you're in my son.
Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
A. One is plastic and harmful to children, the other is used to carry groceries.
Q. What does Michael Jackson consider a perfect 10?
A. Two 5 year olds.
Q. Why did Michael Jackson decide to have a boy of his own?
A. Because it's too expensive to rent them at $2 million a pop!
Q: What's icky and in a baby's diaper?
A: Michael Jackson's hand!
Q: What do Michael Jackson and a Big Mac have in common?
A: They're both 44 year old meat between 10 year old buns!
Q: What's black on the inside, white on the outside, and comes in little cans?
A: Michael Jackson!
Q: Why did Pepsi fire Michael Jackson?
A: Because he was caught sucking on a Squirt!!
Q. Who is the greatest person ever?
A. Michael Jackson - he was born a poor black boy in Gary, Indiana and grew up to become a rich white woman in Europe.
Q. What did Elvis say after seeing Michael and Lisa Marie on television?
A. "Boy, that's a relief. I though she married a black guy!"
Q. What did Lisa-Marie Presley say to Michael Jackson when he proposed?
A. "Yes, I'll marry you. But promise me one thing -- no kids!"
Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley?
A. About two dress sizes.
Q. What were Lisa-Marie's newlywed complaints about Michael Jackson?
A1. He leaves the lid off the mascara, causing it to dry out.
A2. That battleaxe Liz Taylor never calls before she comes over.
A3. She suspects he's using her to get to Elvis' bones.
A4. He touches her kids more than he touches her.
Q. Why did Michael Jackson cross the road?
A. He saw someone blowing bubbles and thought he'd join in. (The famous chimp was named Bubbles)
Q. Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men?
A. He thought it was a delivery service.
Q: Why are Michael Jackson's pants so small?
A: Because they aren't his!
Q. How did Michael Jackson get in trouble?
A. He was feeling a little Randy.
Q. Why does Michael Jackson like children so much?
A. He knows how they feel.
Q. What did Michael Jackson say when he got back to Neverland Ranch from drug rehab?
A. You know, I feel like a new boy!
Q. How do we know Michael Jackson is guilty?
A. Several children have fingered him.
Q. Where does Michael Jackson go to find a date?
A. Boys 'R Us.
Q. Why is Michael Jackson so tough?
A. He can lick any kid on the block.
01-20-2004, 03:57 PM
#4
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Location: San Fran/Bay Area, California
Age: 43
Posts: 3,661
Re: Michael Jokes....You've all seen these before I'm sure
speakin of micheal jackson, has anyone seen a picture of him riding a little kids trike and hes getting chased by the cops?? my sis sent me it and it was funny as hell but i deleted it
01-20-2004, 04:02 PM
#5
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Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 1,546
Re: Michael Jokes....You've all seen these before I'm sure
Originally Posted by gixxer750rider
speakin of micheal jackson, has anyone seen a picture of him riding a little kids trike and hes getting chased by the cops?? my sis sent me it and it was funny as hell but i deleted it
Yeah I've seen that before! Crackes me right the hell up! hahaha
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