you're addicted to cars if: (again rednecks are described)
09-12-2003, 12:39 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: SF Bay Area, CA
Age: 39
Posts: 714
you're addicted to cars if: (again rednecks are described)
This describes rednecks !
You are additcted to cars:
1) If you have ever been caught doing 100 M.P.H. in a 35 M.P.H. zone, and you talked your way out of it by .popping your hood.
2) If you have ever passed someone and sucked their windshield out.
3) If your secondaries never close.
4) If you use NOS to go get bread and milk.
5) If you have ever put an 871 blower on a lawnmower.
6) If you don.t have to sign your tickets.
7) If the local highway patrol had to buy a Ferrari to catch you.
8) If the highway patrol complains because you out ran their Ferrari.
9) If your exhaust system is illegal in 48states.
10) If you think 4-inch exhaust is too restrictive.
11) If 2 blowers on the same motor isn.t enough.
12) If th-400s and 9 inch differentials are too weak.
13) If you think a Chevy 540 is an awfully small motor.
14) If the last time your .significant other. drove your car they had a triple coronary.
15) If your neighbors use your fuel pump to drain and fill their Olympic size swimming pool.. in seconds. 16) If Exxon and Goodyear send you holiday cards.
17) If the local parts house named their new wing after you.
18) If Exxon and Goodyear give you discounts.
19) If the local parts house and tire shop are the 1st 2 numbers on speed dial.
20) If you think natural aspirated motors are blaspheme.
21) If you don.t like side view mirrors because they won.t stay on the car.at 180mph.
22) If you floor it and you go back in time.
23) If your traffic fines keep the local economy going.
24) If your traffic tickets take up a whole room at the courthouse.
25) If you are no longer welcome to run in the HOT ROD power tour.
26) If your no longer welcome to run in the silver state challenge.
27) When you white smoke the tires the fire dept thinks the whole town is on fire.
28) If nobody in town will drag race you any more.
29) If the city council had a drag strip built to keep you off Main Street.
30) If a 16:1 compression ratio is too low.
31) If your car won.t even idle below 2000 R.P.M.
32) If you try to drag race the neighbor kid.. on his bicycle.
33) If every thing you own has a flame paint job, even your house and toilet.
34) If you need new tires as often as you fill your tank.
35) If you white smoke the tires getting out of the driveway.
36) If you wear your fire suit to work.
37) If you have pictures of your motor in your wallet.
38) If you hold the towns record for longest peel mark.
39) If pure octane makes your engine ping.
40) If your motto is mufflers are for wimps.
41) If the government finances your insurance.
42) If you had to get a radiator off of a tank.
43) If the highway patrol named an offence after you.
44) If you have ever invented an offence.
45) If the highway patrol knows your cam specs.
46) If too fast is a relative term.
47) If you think less than 8 cylinders is blaspheme.
48) If the highway patrol officer pulls you over to talk about engines.
49) If you consider shifting gears a hobby.
50) If you worship the all mighty piston.
51) If your lawnmower has an E.T. of 9.4 @ 158 M.P.H
52) If you removed your door handles to save weight.
53) If you put a fiberglass hood in your wife.s Honda.
54) If no pizza shop in town will hire you as a delivery boy.
55) If you think imports are the antichrist.
56) If you think turning an impala into a low rider is blaspheme.
57) If you shaved off your window tint to save weight.
58) If you count your car as an independent when you file your taxes.
59) If Goodyear named their new line of tire after you.
60) If you consider a knocking rod as a midlife crisis.
61) If you completely built a car out of new parts from the companies you see ads for in automotive magazines.
62) If you are addicted to acceleration.
63) If you laugh madly at the words .four cylinder..
64) If you put a small block Chevy on your kids go-kart.
65) If 20 inch wide tires are to narrow.
66) If your blender is set up to run on NOS.
67) If your dryer has a supercharge on it.
68) If you started out with a fiberglass hood.. and now your entire car is fiberglass.
69) If you have ever done a wheels up launch at a stoplight.
70) If you think single exhaust should be illegal.
71) If the inch length of your exhaust pipes is in the single digits.
72) If you have ever seta ¼ mile record.on main street.
73) If your camshaft is illegal in all 50 states.
74) If your valve springs can double as suspension components.
75) If you have devised a way to put four 4 barrels on a 350.
76) Instead of gas mileage you measure it as gas footage.
77) If you flood the town when your radiator hose breaks.
78) If you flood your engine and it is considered a statewide fire risk.
79) If you crack your oil pan and the government compares it to the Exxon Valdez.
80) If you think 400 horsepower is Childs play .
81) If you have ever built a straight 6 that would out-run a big block.
82) If you can.t grasp the idea of fuel economy.
83) If your motto is .women want me, tires fear me..
84) If you have never driven your car below 40 M.PH.
85) If you floor it and the square corners of your body panels start to melt.
86) If you have ever floored it and had a quarter panel fly off.
87) If your torque converters stall speed is set at 10,000 R.P.M.
88) If your motor quits making power at 13,000 R.P.M.
89) If your motor starts making power at 8,000 R.P.M.
90) If you put a big block Chevy in everything.even your swamp cooler.
91) If you use 10w 30 to get an enema.
92) If you think about emissions testing and you wake up in a cold sweat.
93) If a cracked block gives you nightmares and insomnia.
94) If you have ever tried to get a rebuild kit for a hair dryer.
95) If you if you read your kids bedtime stories about how to do engine swaps in f-bodies.
96) If you can.t sleep without first listening to your idle lope.
97) If you have ever stored your motor in your bathtub.
98) If engine grime under your fingernails is soothing.
99) If you have ever tried to get an overhaul kit for a model car.
100) If you think front wheel drive is the antichrist
You are additcted to cars:
1) If you have ever been caught doing 100 M.P.H. in a 35 M.P.H. zone, and you talked your way out of it by .popping your hood.
2) If you have ever passed someone and sucked their windshield out.
3) If your secondaries never close.
4) If you use NOS to go get bread and milk.
5) If you have ever put an 871 blower on a lawnmower.
6) If you don.t have to sign your tickets.
7) If the local highway patrol had to buy a Ferrari to catch you.
8) If the highway patrol complains because you out ran their Ferrari.
9) If your exhaust system is illegal in 48states.
10) If you think 4-inch exhaust is too restrictive.
11) If 2 blowers on the same motor isn.t enough.
12) If th-400s and 9 inch differentials are too weak.
13) If you think a Chevy 540 is an awfully small motor.
14) If the last time your .significant other. drove your car they had a triple coronary.
15) If your neighbors use your fuel pump to drain and fill their Olympic size swimming pool.. in seconds. 16) If Exxon and Goodyear send you holiday cards.
17) If the local parts house named their new wing after you.
18) If Exxon and Goodyear give you discounts.
19) If the local parts house and tire shop are the 1st 2 numbers on speed dial.
20) If you think natural aspirated motors are blaspheme.
21) If you don.t like side view mirrors because they won.t stay on the car.at 180mph.
22) If you floor it and you go back in time.
23) If your traffic fines keep the local economy going.
24) If your traffic tickets take up a whole room at the courthouse.
25) If you are no longer welcome to run in the HOT ROD power tour.
26) If your no longer welcome to run in the silver state challenge.
27) When you white smoke the tires the fire dept thinks the whole town is on fire.
28) If nobody in town will drag race you any more.
29) If the city council had a drag strip built to keep you off Main Street.
30) If a 16:1 compression ratio is too low.
31) If your car won.t even idle below 2000 R.P.M.
32) If you try to drag race the neighbor kid.. on his bicycle.
33) If every thing you own has a flame paint job, even your house and toilet.
34) If you need new tires as often as you fill your tank.
35) If you white smoke the tires getting out of the driveway.
36) If you wear your fire suit to work.
37) If you have pictures of your motor in your wallet.
38) If you hold the towns record for longest peel mark.
39) If pure octane makes your engine ping.
40) If your motto is mufflers are for wimps.
41) If the government finances your insurance.
42) If you had to get a radiator off of a tank.
43) If the highway patrol named an offence after you.
44) If you have ever invented an offence.
45) If the highway patrol knows your cam specs.
46) If too fast is a relative term.
47) If you think less than 8 cylinders is blaspheme.
48) If the highway patrol officer pulls you over to talk about engines.
49) If you consider shifting gears a hobby.
50) If you worship the all mighty piston.
51) If your lawnmower has an E.T. of 9.4 @ 158 M.P.H
52) If you removed your door handles to save weight.
53) If you put a fiberglass hood in your wife.s Honda.
54) If no pizza shop in town will hire you as a delivery boy.
55) If you think imports are the antichrist.
56) If you think turning an impala into a low rider is blaspheme.
57) If you shaved off your window tint to save weight.
58) If you count your car as an independent when you file your taxes.
59) If Goodyear named their new line of tire after you.
60) If you consider a knocking rod as a midlife crisis.
61) If you completely built a car out of new parts from the companies you see ads for in automotive magazines.
62) If you are addicted to acceleration.
63) If you laugh madly at the words .four cylinder..
64) If you put a small block Chevy on your kids go-kart.
65) If 20 inch wide tires are to narrow.
66) If your blender is set up to run on NOS.
67) If your dryer has a supercharge on it.
68) If you started out with a fiberglass hood.. and now your entire car is fiberglass.
69) If you have ever done a wheels up launch at a stoplight.
70) If you think single exhaust should be illegal.
71) If the inch length of your exhaust pipes is in the single digits.
72) If you have ever seta ¼ mile record.on main street.
73) If your camshaft is illegal in all 50 states.
74) If your valve springs can double as suspension components.
75) If you have devised a way to put four 4 barrels on a 350.
76) Instead of gas mileage you measure it as gas footage.
77) If you flood the town when your radiator hose breaks.
78) If you flood your engine and it is considered a statewide fire risk.
79) If you crack your oil pan and the government compares it to the Exxon Valdez.
80) If you think 400 horsepower is Childs play .
81) If you have ever built a straight 6 that would out-run a big block.
82) If you can.t grasp the idea of fuel economy.
83) If your motto is .women want me, tires fear me..
84) If you have never driven your car below 40 M.PH.
85) If you floor it and the square corners of your body panels start to melt.
86) If you have ever floored it and had a quarter panel fly off.
87) If your torque converters stall speed is set at 10,000 R.P.M.
88) If your motor quits making power at 13,000 R.P.M.
89) If your motor starts making power at 8,000 R.P.M.
90) If you put a big block Chevy in everything.even your swamp cooler.
91) If you use 10w 30 to get an enema.
92) If you think about emissions testing and you wake up in a cold sweat.
93) If a cracked block gives you nightmares and insomnia.
94) If you have ever tried to get a rebuild kit for a hair dryer.
95) If you if you read your kids bedtime stories about how to do engine swaps in f-bodies.
96) If you can.t sleep without first listening to your idle lope.
97) If you have ever stored your motor in your bathtub.
98) If engine grime under your fingernails is soothing.
99) If you have ever tried to get an overhaul kit for a model car.
100) If you think front wheel drive is the antichrist
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