For a laugh........
Thread Starter
Registered User
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 1,850
From: Ypsilanti, MI
For a laugh........
Here are a few funny jokes i found...
The Mother of a 17-year-old was concerned that her daughter was having sex. Worried that the girlmight become pregnant and adversly impact the family's status, she consulted the family doctor.
The Doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful and any attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. He then told her to talk to her and give her a box of condoms.
Later that evening, as her daughter was getting ready for a date, the woman told her about the situation and handed her a box of condoms.
The girl burst out laughing and reached over to hug her mother saying:"Oh mom! You don't ahve to worry about that! I'm dating Susan!"
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An old man in a nursing home got a bottle of wine for his birthday. He talked the old lady in the next roominto sharing it with him.
After they were both totally bombed, he started groping the old lady and pulling at her clothes. He managed to get her blouse and bra off before she stopped him. She sai " I can't do this, I have acute angina."
The old guy says, "God i hope so, 'cause you've got the ugliest **** i have ever seen!"
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At Christmas, a little girl goes to see Santa. She climbs on his lap and smiles.
Santa says, "And what can i bring you for Christmas?" The little girl says, "I want a Barbie and a GI Joe." Santa looks at her and says, "I thought Barbie comes with Ken." The little girl says, " No, Barbie comes with GI Joe, she fakes it with Ken."
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Tom pays a visit to a georeous young prostitute. After two hours of exhausting great sex he says, " Now you won't see me for a while." The prostitute isn't happy to see a good customer leave and asks, " Are you too busy next week to pay me a visit?" "No sweety, that's not what i mean. Just turn over...."
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Two guys of limited intelligence, were on a ship that sank in the middle of the ocean. They managed to inflate a rubber life raft and grab a box of provisions before thier ship slipped under the surface. After floating under blazing heat for 6 days, they ran out of food and water.
On the 10th day, bleary eyed and half dead from heat, thirst and starvation, they spotted a small object floating toward them in the water. As it drew near, they were ecstatic to find that it was an old oil lamp(the kind that genies come in). They grabbed the lamp and rubbed it.
Out popped the tired old genie who said," Ok, so you freed me from the stupid lamp, but hey, i've been doing this 3-wishes stuff for a while now and quite frankly, i'm burned out. You guys only get one wish and then i'm outta here. Make it a good one."
The first guiy blurted out, without thinking, "Give us all the beer we can drink for the rest of our lives!"
"Fine," said the genie, and instantly turning the entire Ocean to beer.
"Great move Einstein," said the second guy, slapping the first guy in the side of the head.
"Now we're gonna have to **** in the boat!"
.................................................. .................................................
The Mother of a 17-year-old was concerned that her daughter was having sex. Worried that the girlmight become pregnant and adversly impact the family's status, she consulted the family doctor.
The Doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful and any attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. He then told her to talk to her and give her a box of condoms.
Later that evening, as her daughter was getting ready for a date, the woman told her about the situation and handed her a box of condoms.
The girl burst out laughing and reached over to hug her mother saying:"Oh mom! You don't ahve to worry about that! I'm dating Susan!"
.................................................. ............................................
An old man in a nursing home got a bottle of wine for his birthday. He talked the old lady in the next roominto sharing it with him.
After they were both totally bombed, he started groping the old lady and pulling at her clothes. He managed to get her blouse and bra off before she stopped him. She sai " I can't do this, I have acute angina."
The old guy says, "God i hope so, 'cause you've got the ugliest **** i have ever seen!"
.................................................. ............................................
At Christmas, a little girl goes to see Santa. She climbs on his lap and smiles.
Santa says, "And what can i bring you for Christmas?" The little girl says, "I want a Barbie and a GI Joe." Santa looks at her and says, "I thought Barbie comes with Ken." The little girl says, " No, Barbie comes with GI Joe, she fakes it with Ken."
.................................................. .............................................
Tom pays a visit to a georeous young prostitute. After two hours of exhausting great sex he says, " Now you won't see me for a while." The prostitute isn't happy to see a good customer leave and asks, " Are you too busy next week to pay me a visit?" "No sweety, that's not what i mean. Just turn over...."
.................................................. .............................................
Two guys of limited intelligence, were on a ship that sank in the middle of the ocean. They managed to inflate a rubber life raft and grab a box of provisions before thier ship slipped under the surface. After floating under blazing heat for 6 days, they ran out of food and water.
On the 10th day, bleary eyed and half dead from heat, thirst and starvation, they spotted a small object floating toward them in the water. As it drew near, they were ecstatic to find that it was an old oil lamp(the kind that genies come in). They grabbed the lamp and rubbed it.
Out popped the tired old genie who said," Ok, so you freed me from the stupid lamp, but hey, i've been doing this 3-wishes stuff for a while now and quite frankly, i'm burned out. You guys only get one wish and then i'm outta here. Make it a good one."
The first guiy blurted out, without thinking, "Give us all the beer we can drink for the rest of our lives!"
"Fine," said the genie, and instantly turning the entire Ocean to beer.
"Great move Einstein," said the second guy, slapping the first guy in the side of the head.
"Now we're gonna have to **** in the boat!"
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Posted.......... 
