wal mart doctor
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Regular StuntLifer
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 797
From: Opelousas, La.
wal mart doctor
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind
him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."
"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies.
"There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a
urine
sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do
about
it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars...a lot cheaper than
a
doctor."
So Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the
urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten
seconds
later,
the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your
arm in
warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.
Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart."
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe
began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap
water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and
daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure. Joe hurries back to
Wal-Mart, eager to
check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his
concoction, and
awaits the results. The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9) 2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never
get better.
Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart.
him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."
"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies.
"There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a
urine
sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do
about
it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars...a lot cheaper than
a
doctor."
So Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the
urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten
seconds
later,
the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your
arm in
warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.
Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart."
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe
began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap
water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and
daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure. Joe hurries back to
Wal-Mart, eager to
check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his
concoction, and
awaits the results. The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9) 2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never
get better.
Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart.
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