haha yea junior told me about that...funny ****

 

i had to make that squid move last year when someone stole my 636 i jus needed something to wheelie

 

Too much stunt related squidliness or straight up dumb crazy **** to list. Heres 2 non-stunt squid stories that amuse me...


-I always wear boots with zippers so **** doesnt get tangled up in the pegs. ONE time I wore tennis shoes. Guess what...Yup. The laces of my right shoe got caught in the brake lever while I was coming up to a stop light, and its on a hill that slants steep up to the right so I couldnt use my left foot. I tried and tried to put my foot down while rolling at 1 mph but it wasnt happening. I gently fell over as I came to the front of the line and just kind of laid there for a couple seconds thinking about my life, playing it off like I blacked out or something while everyone in their car on the other side of the road stared. lol.

-Had a broken down 1989 zx6. This thing was 600 lbs full of gas. Well I had a friends house just up the road with a truck. I call him and after lots of pushing, our scrawny asses finally get this huge mother in the back of the truck with one problem...We didnt have any straps. I got the *brilliant* idea of just sitting on the bike and holding it in place with my legs while we baby the bike back home at 5 mph. Keep in mind this is on a 2 lane each way busy country highway. This ******* guy NAILS the pedal to the floor and jerks the wheel left, swinging the bike to the right. The bike GORILLA SLAMS my knee between the bikes fuel tank and the top corner of the truck bed. This dumbass stop in the road, gets out, and looks at me screaming to get this thing off of me. I get it off of me and THEN he realizes he has to drive really slow to get it to his house up the street. I limped like a bitch with dystonia for 2 months. I left a knee sized dent in the tank too.


edit: to my credit I still wore my gear

 

What up homie?

 

mouse trapped coaster standin on both rear pegs tonight bein a squirly kid

 

I "ate" 4 double cheeseburgers with only 3 slices of cheese on 2 of them then tried to smoke crack rocks with Efum the Retarded rabbit while watching a retarded muskrat with Narcolepsy get stabbed 47 times by some guy named Bishop who later on got shot in a parking lot by some guys that don't even exist because it was a lie fallowed by his serving wench dirty ***** of a girlfriend telling the good people of stuntlife about this lie and reassuring his customers that they would later on get screwed out of all their money not to mention the Japanese fighting caterpillar who swore an oath the the Mongolian government that he would order 18 pairs of those garbage Stasis shoes and in turn never got them that caused the people he worked for to cut off all of his legs and left him to die in a giant vat of honey but its ok because he later got eaten by bear who had an edition on "Super bikes" with Jason Briton that Briton later on edited to show the "Star" bear for only 1 min of the show and Briton for the other 29 minutes of the episode and speaking of episodes this guy Alex Kelm I know had a few episodes in witch I mean he lost his mind and thinks he is the all mighty god of awesomeness when in reality..There is no god of awesomeness unless you are referring to kelm who is most definitely the god of assholeness and loves to screw people over and then burn it into his brain that he is actually the victim of what ever situation he is in but to be honest this is not about science and it never was so if you keep thinking it is then you my friend are most defiantly wrong about that time I wrote this long *** thing in some thread about the biggest squid move ever and posted it for absolutely 1 reason at all. Did you know? Or do you know? Ask yourself nothing and refer to this when your done with that.

 

that is prob the most random **** i have ever heard

 

My head hurts now

 

i am now stupid-er for reading that post!

 

In second gear tried to clutch it up from a dead stop...bike immediately stalled and I went over the bars

 

Back when i had had my stunter for about a month, i came flying into the local sonic, grabbed a handful of brake with my handbrake, bike slid real nice into the last parking spot and then proceeded to pancake and toss me off. Luckily i landed in the grass and stood up to see EVERY sonic girl inside laughing and pointing at me

 

funniest **** ive ever heard.. first line.


i think Kelm is making sick nate lose his mind!

 

my brains not working i know i had funny squid moments, but form what i can think of i remember one time i was riding with a huge group of good friends and pro stunters we're at this intersection turning left but waiting for the arrow.. so after a long ride i put the kickstand down get up and start stretching. the arrow turned green, and everybody took off.. i kickd it in gear the bike shut off.. i started it back up put it in gear it shut off again. i had people be hind me honking and i couldn't figure it out until the 4th try i realized my kickstand was still down.. EMBARRASING.

also, we were at the lot and i picked up this fine girl about a week before and she wanted to learn how to ride the 125 thumperr so im showin her how to work the clutch while standing in front of the bike. straddeling the front wheel i pull in the clutch and show her how to fuel the db apperently she didnt have the clutch fully engaged it lifted up and wheelied me str8 in the nuts. she was scared to ride after that..


OH OH and the funniest **** i think of when it comes to lifting at the gym, is a friend of my went to the gym solo 1 day and decided to do bench press with no spot.. with a little too much courage he had about 135 which was too heavy for him, the bar went up, and came str8 down. (with no spot, it is resting on his chest) a guy walks by to ask him if hes okay and needs help, with too much pride my friend replied.. "nope, just resting..." LOL as soon as the guy turns away this kid proceeds to roll the bar all the way dwn his body

 

by far the greatest rant ever

 

bump... this is a good thread!!

 

Leaving school a group of dumbasses walking across the street while my lane had the green light... car in front of me honks their horn so the kids stop in the middle of the street and stand there till the light turns red... well I was pissed so I went anyways, as I was passing them I went to give them the rev limiter **** you as I passed... it was raining and I was wearing new leather gloves and my hand slipped off the clutch lol... ya 06 636 rev limiter dump clutch first gear lol...

To top it off I only rolled 2 maybe 3 times before I got on my feet again while my bike was still sliding down the road... never had such a long walk of shame lol. I was waiting to hear what kid was going to open his mouth first so I could introduce him to what was left of the crumple zone on my helmet to their face... I think they were so shocked they never opened their mouth lol

 

^^damnnn. lol

 

assuming no one knew about jorian, i posted a vid of (o.g. rider) and looked like a squid because i havent been on stuntlife in a year workin 2 jobs and ridin all the time so i finally get back on and lookin on youtube so i posted it and looked squidlyish

 

keep fogetn to put my kick stand up and its getn bad its gona get me really hurt, so far ive just dropped it on its side a couple time

 

WTFRU talking about?????

I have installed hundreds of power commanders, and have three programs on this computer for the PCIII, PCIII USB, PCV and the wide band commander program on my laptop and I have never ever ever ever ever heard of this "V-Twin mode"


Make stuff up much?