whos got jokes?
05-15-2007, 01:55 PM
#23
Registered User
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: SouthWest, Michigan
Age: 44
Posts: 69
Re: whos got jokes?
What's Black And Blue And Hates Sex?
The Twelve Year Old Girl Tied Up In My Basement!!!
This was just a joke and I hope nobody was offended by it even though child melesters are no joking matter.........but its still funny
The Twelve Year Old Girl Tied Up In My Basement!!!
This was just a joke and I hope nobody was offended by it even though child melesters are no joking matter.........but its still funny
05-15-2007, 02:08 PM
#25
Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Princton MN
Posts: 390
Re: whos got jokes?
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
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Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she star ts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
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How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
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Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
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What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told
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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
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Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
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Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. (NOW THIS ONE IS TRUE)
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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she star ts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. (NOW THIS ONE IS TRUE)
-------------------------------------------------------------------
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
05-15-2007, 02:15 PM
#26
Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Princton MN
Posts: 390
Re: whos got jokes?
A little girl walks into her parents' bathroom and notices for the First time, her father's nakedness.
Immediately, she is curious: he has equipment that she doesn't have. She asks, "What are those round things hanging there, daddy?"
Proudly, he replies, "Those, sweetheart, are God's Apples of Life, Without them we wouldn't be here."
Puzzled, she seeks her mommy out and tells her what daddy has said.
To which mommy asks, "Did he say anything about the dead branch they're hanging from?"
Immediately, she is curious: he has equipment that she doesn't have. She asks, "What are those round things hanging there, daddy?"
Proudly, he replies, "Those, sweetheart, are God's Apples of Life, Without them we wouldn't be here."
Puzzled, she seeks her mommy out and tells her what daddy has said.
To which mommy asks, "Did he say anything about the dead branch they're hanging from?"
05-15-2007, 02:18 PM
#27
Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: corpus cristy tx
Posts: 165
05-15-2007, 02:29 PM
#28
Registered User
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: ..
Age: 38
Posts: 2,698
Re: whos got jokes?
05-15-2007, 03:16 PM
#29
Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Fort Valley, Georgia, USA
Posts: 84
Re: whos got jokes?
What happened to the black girl who had an abortion?
~ Crime Stoppers sent her a check for $500.
How do you hide money from a Mexican?
~ Put it under a bar of soap.
What did one *** say to the other *** going on vacation?
~ Can I help you pack your ****?
How do you know your at a gay picnic?
~ The hot dogs taste like ****.
What's the most common pick up line at a gay bar?
~ May I push in your stool?
~ Crime Stoppers sent her a check for $500.
How do you hide money from a Mexican?
~ Put it under a bar of soap.
What did one *** say to the other *** going on vacation?
~ Can I help you pack your ****?
How do you know your at a gay picnic?
~ The hot dogs taste like ****.
What's the most common pick up line at a gay bar?
~ May I push in your stool?
05-15-2007, 03:20 PM
#30
Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Fort Valley, Georgia, USA
Posts: 84
Re: whos got jokes?
A man takes his Rottweiler to the veterinarian and says, “My dog is going cross-eyed. Is there anything you can do to help him?”
“Well,” replies the vet, “let’s have a look at him.” So he picks up the dog and checks its eyes.
After a quick exam, the vet turns to the owner and says, “I’m afraid I’m going to have to put him down.”
“Why? Just because he’s cross-eyed?”
“No,” says the vet. “It’s just that he’s really heavy.”
“Well,” replies the vet, “let’s have a look at him.” So he picks up the dog and checks its eyes.
After a quick exam, the vet turns to the owner and says, “I’m afraid I’m going to have to put him down.”
“Why? Just because he’s cross-eyed?”
“No,” says the vet. “It’s just that he’s really heavy.”
05-15-2007, 03:23 PM
#31
Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Kensier, Okinawa Japan
Posts: 1,533
Re: whos got jokes?
baby jokes are a constant thing in the marines... so some might not appreciate them as much as others....
how do you get 100 babies in a bowl?
a blender
How do you get them out?
tostitos
how do you get 100 babies in a bowl?
a blender
How do you get them out?
tostitos
05-15-2007, 03:30 PM
#33
Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Kensier, Okinawa Japan
Posts: 1,533
Re: whos got jokes?
A Gay couple and a Lesbian couple are stranded on an island, who gets off first? (pun may be intended)
The lezzers go lickety split, while they gay guys gotta pack their ****
05-15-2007, 03:49 PM
#34
Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Fort Valley, Georgia, USA
Posts: 84
Re: whos got jokes?
~ Threesomes.
Why did the dead baby cross the road?
~ It was chained to a bumper.
What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman?
~ A baby with a black eye.
Huh? 
05-15-2007, 04:18 PM
#38
Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Princton MN
Posts: 390
