An office manager was given the task of hiring an
individual to fill a
job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes
he found four
people who were equally qualified.
He decided to call the four in and ask them only one
question.
Their answer would determine which of them would get
the job. The day
came and as the four sat around the conference room
table the
interviewer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know
of?"
Acknowledging the first man on his right, the man
replied, "A THOUGHT.
It just pops into your head. There's no warning that
it's on the way;
it's just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know
of."
"That's very good!" replied the interviewer. "And now
you sir?" he
asked The second man.
"Hmm....let me see. A blink! It comes and goes and you
don't know that
it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know
of."
"Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an
eye... that's a
very popular cliche' for speed."
He then turned to the third man who was contemplating
his reply.
"Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the
house and on the wall
there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way
out across
the pasture the light in the barn comes on in less
than an instant. Yep,
TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think
of."
The interviewer was very impressed with the third
answer and thought
he had found his man.
"It's hard to beat the speed of light" he said.
Turning to "WINGMAN" and final man, the interviewer
posed the same
question. The last man replied, "After hearing the
three previous
answers, It's obvious to me that the fastest thing
known is DIARRHEA."
"WHAT!?" said the interviewer, stunned by the
response.
"Oh I can explain." said WINGMAN "You see the
other day I wasn't
feeling so good and I ran for the bathroom. But,
before I could
THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already ****
in my pants!"

WINGMAN GOT THE JOB!


Congrats!

 

that is funny, but my story is a little different. i was't sober remember
check with "FTW" on this one, I'm sure he could shed some light....

 

Wingman made poopies

 

oh yeah kid....you didn't hear the story?
at jbone's lakehouse, got so shat faced puked my brains out on the side
of the house and then passed out in the driveway and ended up shittin myself. The bitch of it was, i didn't know it happened until the next day when my girl told me what hapened. at least i'm not denying my story. Madras
remembers how drunk I was. Ask him how i was when i was trying to open the door on the porch so i could get outside to go puke

at least i can laugh about it

 

ahahahaha

 

Wow thats a good time right there, sounds like good incentive to always take a poopy before going out drinking :D

 

just so everyone knows there is another member to the "i **** my pants club"

we have


1. wingman

2. colby

3.MADRAS is the new member


a-team president out

 

oh really fool?

really!

 

being sick and pucking and pissing out of my *** for 10 hours dosen't count. ehy dont you go hold hands buddy. oh ya by the way some beat aass try you brought home one night left her nylons by your foton nice job buddy its about time.

ateam leader out

 

beat *** tray dont even get me started on you holdin hands king

thats the only leader you are is the holdin hands squad



a-team president

 

sorry kid, when you ****, you ****. no ifs, ands, or buts about it.
all excuses aside. my excuse didn't matter, why should yours

my

 

true dat wingman true dat

 

When your extremely drunk and you start to smell like skunk, DIARRHEA. Yeah buddy, oops gotta go i think i just sharted.

chuck d

P.S I used to shart out of my stomach. I'm in a league of my own.