You ride around with your full face helmet stuck on top of your head in such a way that the chin bar is resting barely above your eyebrows.

You are a guy and you ride passenger with a girl

You ride in sandals

You bad mouth all "other" brands of bikes (and have never ridden them)

You tell anyone you have gone 160 on the street

Your "racing" jacket is from Wal-Mart.

You think Arai is Jamaican for OK

You don't have a clue what a Buell is

You bought a Sport bike and put saddlebags and a sissy bar on it so you can go to Sturgis.

You keep fouling plugs riding with the choke on

You have Harley stickers on your car and ride a Rebel

Your Mom and Dad won't ride with you

There is a crack in your helmet

You helmet is the wrong size

You ride with ANY safety features on your bike not working

You have a cup holder duct taped to your handlebars.