Bored...
Thread Starter
Registered User
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 1,434
From: Apple Isle
Re: Bored...
Originally Posted by rickchampion
well he does have a bike but its a pos suzuki and its broke and for sale
bike is sold, dont know why you would say its broke as its all together and nothing missing
Try shitting on someone else for a change or get all your facts right arsewipe
Thread Starter
Registered User
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 1,434
From: Apple Isle
Re: Bored...
Originally Posted by rickchampion
sorry the only thing missing was half the fairing that had been scraped along the road many times
Fairing was on there when i was looking at it 2 hours ago
Guess you being knee high to a grass hopper you get to see things at a different angle
AND IT WAS ONCE AND NOT MY FAULT
But i forgot you were perfect hey FU(K ST@IN
Thread Starter
Registered User
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 1,434
From: Apple Isle
Re: Bored...
Originally Posted by rickchampion
well i recall seeing it at joes the other week and it still have all its scatches,
so only off once what happened to all the falls u had the other times?
so only off once what happened to all the falls u had the other times?
2 post ago it was missing half the fairings, WTF are you smoking and where can i get some Rick
That side fairing isn't mine. Its the replacement i bought as mine was damage beyond repair when i was run off the road.
The other drops i had with the bike i never had any fairings on it as that was when it was street fightered.
In total there was 6 drops (one with the fairings)
Registered User
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 223
From: Hobart, Tasmania
Re: Bored...
oh the mythical street fightered is this when u rode it around for weeks with nothing on it?
so how about the tail? did that get scratched some other way as well?
all these crashes and not one pic of movie to show for it.
do u even have a wheelie pic?
so how about the tail? did that get scratched some other way as well?
all these crashes and not one pic of movie to show for it.
do u even have a wheelie pic?
Thread Starter
Registered User
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 1,434
From: Apple Isle
Re: Bored...
CINDERELLA wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears, and promised to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two conditions. "First, you must wear a diaphragm." Cinderella agrees. "What's the second condition?" "You must be home by 2:00 a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin." Cinderella agrees to be home by 2:00 a.m. The appointed hour comes and goes, and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5:00a.m. Cinderella shows up, looking love struck and very satisfied. "Where have you been?" demands the Fairy Godmother. "Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!!!" " I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything." The Fairy Godmother stated, "I know of no prince with that kind of power! Tell me his name!" Cinderella replied, I can't remember, exactly, .. Peter, Peter, something or other..."
PINOCCHIO had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit Gepetto to see if he could help. Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper wherever indicated and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened. A couple weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?" Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?"
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD was walking through the woods when suddenly the Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and, holding a sword to her throat, said, "Red, I'm going to screw your brains out!" To that, Little Red Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic basket and pulled out a ..44 magnum and pointed it at him and said, "No, you're not. You're going to eat me, just like it says in the book."
MICKEY MOUSE and MINNIE MOUSE were in divorce court and the judge said to Mickey, "You say here that your wife is crazy." Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she's f**king Goofy."
Did you know...Captain Hook died from jock itch.
One day, JANE met TARZAN in the jungle. She was very attracted to him and during her questions about his life she asked him how he engaged to have sex. "What's that?" he asked. She explained to him what sex was and he said, "Oh, I use a hole in the trunk of a tree." Horrified, she said, " Tarzan, you have it all wrong but I will show you how to do it properly." She took off her clothes, lay down on the ground and spread her legs. "Here," she said, "you must put it in here." Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an almighty kick in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually she managed to gasp, "What the hell did you do that for?" "Just checking for bees," said Tarzan.
PINOCCHIO had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit Gepetto to see if he could help. Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper wherever indicated and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened. A couple weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?" Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?"
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD was walking through the woods when suddenly the Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and, holding a sword to her throat, said, "Red, I'm going to screw your brains out!" To that, Little Red Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic basket and pulled out a ..44 magnum and pointed it at him and said, "No, you're not. You're going to eat me, just like it says in the book."
MICKEY MOUSE and MINNIE MOUSE were in divorce court and the judge said to Mickey, "You say here that your wife is crazy." Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she's f**king Goofy."
Did you know...Captain Hook died from jock itch.
One day, JANE met TARZAN in the jungle. She was very attracted to him and during her questions about his life she asked him how he engaged to have sex. "What's that?" he asked. She explained to him what sex was and he said, "Oh, I use a hole in the trunk of a tree." Horrified, she said, " Tarzan, you have it all wrong but I will show you how to do it properly." She took off her clothes, lay down on the ground and spread her legs. "Here," she said, "you must put it in here." Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an almighty kick in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually she managed to gasp, "What the hell did you do that for?" "Just checking for bees," said Tarzan.
Thread Starter
Registered User
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 1,434
From: Apple Isle
Re: Bored...
Originally Posted by rickchampion
oh the mythical street fightered is this when u rode it around for weeks with nothing on it?
so how about the tail? did that get scratched some other way as well?
all these crashes and not one pic of movie to show for it.
do u even have a wheelie pic?
so how about the tail? did that get scratched some other way as well?
all these crashes and not one pic of movie to show for it.
do u even have a wheelie pic?
Nothing mythical about it. What is your definition of a street fighter **** breath???
Obviously when a bike is on its side and sliding down the road then things get scratched. Like the tail, the exhaust, foot peg, mirror, screen, swing arm ect.
I have plenty of pics of my bike and Stooge had a little footage of me fromt he track which G4IT took.
You saw me wheelie and stoppie and you were the one tha posted the pics dumb ****, so unless you have something else to have ago at me about,
SHUTTHE****UPANDSTOPYOUR****ING*****INGYOUBIG****I NGSOOK
Thread Starter
Registered User
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 1,434
From: Apple Isle
Re: Bored...
Thread Starter
Registered User
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 1,434
From: Apple Isle
Re: Bored...
An 80-year-old man went to his doctor for his annual check-up.
The doctor asks him how he's feeling. The 80-year-old says, "I've never felt better. I now
have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child.
What do you think about that?" The doctor considers his question for a minute and then
begins.
"I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid trophy hunter and never misses a
season. One day, when he was going out hunting, he was in a bit of a hurry and accidentally
picked up his walking cane instead of his gun. When he got to the creek, he saw a prime
beaver sitting beside the stream of water. He raised his cane and went 'bang, bang'.
Suddenly, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead. What do you think of that?"
The 80-year-old said, "I'd say somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver."
The doctor replied, "My point exactly."
__________________________________________________ _
daryl is driving over the west gate bridge one day when he sees his girlfriend shazza about to throw herself off
daryl slams on the brakes and yells, "shazza what the bloody hell d'ya think ya doin!"
shazza turns around with a tear in her eye and says"g'day daryl, you got me pregnant so now im gonna kill meself"
daryl gets a lump in his throat when he hears this, "shazza" he says, "fair dinkum, not only are ya a top root, but your a real sport too!"............and drives off....
__________________________________________________ ____
101 THINGS NOT TO SAY DURING SEX
1. But everybody looks funny naked!
2. You woke me up for that?
3. Did I mention the video camera?
4. Do you smell something burning?
5. (in a janitor's closet) And they say romance is dead...
6. Try breathing through your nose
7. A little rug burn ever hurt anyone!
8. Is that a Medic-Alert Pendant?
9. Sweetheart, did you lock the back door?
10. But whipped cream makes me break out
11. Person 1: This is your first time... right?
Person 2: Yeah... today
12. (in the No Tell Motel) Hurry up! This room rents by the Hour!
13. Can you please pass me the remote control?
14. Do you accept Visa?
15. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
16. On second thought, let's turn off the lights.
17. And to think- I was really trying to pick up your friend!
18. So much for mouth-to-mouth.
19. (using body paint) Try not to leave any stains, okay?
20. Hope you're as good looking when I'm sober...
21. (holding a banana) It's just a little trick I learned at the zoo!
22. Do you get any premium movie channels?
23. Try not to smear my make-up, will ya!
24. (preparing to use peanut butter sexually) But I just steam-cleaned this couch!
25. Got any penicillin?
26. But I just brushed my teeth...
27. Smile, you're on Candid Camera!
28. I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs!
29. I want a baby!
30. So much for the fulfillment of sexual fantasies!
31. (in a menage a trois) Why am I doing all the work?
32. Maybe we should call Dr. Ruth...
33. Did you know the ceiling needs painting?
34. I think you have it on backwards
35. When is this supposed to feel good?
36. Put that blender back in the kitchen where it belongs!
37. You're good enough to do this for a living!
38. Is that blood on the headboard?
39. Did I remember to take my pill?
40. Are you sure I don't know you from somewhere?
41. I wish we got the Playboy channel...
42. That leak better be from the waterbed!
43. I told you it wouldn't work without batteries!
44. But my cat always sleeps on that pillow
45. Did I tell you my Aunt Martha died in this bed?
46. If you quit smoking you might have more endurance...
47. No, really... I do this part better myself!
48. It's nice being in bed with a woman I don't have to inflate!
49. This would be more fun with a few more people..
50. You're almost as good as my ex!
51. Do you know the definition of statutory rape?
52. Is that you I smell or is it your mattress stuffed with rotten potatoes?
53. You look younger than you feel
54. Perhaps you're just out of practice
55. You sweat more than a galloping stallion!
56. They're not cracker crumbs, it's just a rash
57. Now I know why he/she dumped you...
58. Does your husband own a sawed-off shotgun?
59. You give me reason to conclude that foreplay is overrated
60. What tampon?
61. Have you ever considered liposuction?
62. And to think, I didn't even have to buy you dinner!
63. What are you planning to make for breakfast?
64. I have a confession...
65. I was so horny tonight I would have taken a duck home!
66. Are those real or am I just behind the times?
67. Were you by any chance repressed as a child?
68. Is that a hanging sculpture?
69. You'll stil vote for me, won't you?
70. Did I mention my transsexual operation?
71. I really hate women who actually think sex means something!
72. Did you come yet, dear?
73. I'll tell you who I'm fanatasizing about if you tell me who you're fantasizing about...
74. A good plastic surgeon can take care of that in no time!
75. Does this count as a date?
76. Oprah Winfrey had a show about men like you!
77. Hic! I need another beer for this please
78. I think biting is romantic- don't you?
79. You can cook, too right?
80. When would you like to meet my parents?
81. Man: Maybe it would help if I thought about someone I really like...
Woman: Yourself?
82. Have you seen "Fatal Attraction"?
83. Sorry about the name tags, I'm not very good with names
84. Don't mind me.. I always file my nails in bed
85. (in a phone booth) Do you mind if I make a few phone calls?
86. I hope I didn't forget to turn the gas oven off. Do you have a light?
87. Don't worry, my dog's really friendly for a Doberman.
88. Sorry but I don't do toes!
89. You could at least ACT like you're enjoying it!
90. Petroleum jelly or no petroleum jelly, I said NO!
91. Keep it down, my mother is a light sleeper...
92. I'll bet you didn't know I work for "The Enquirer"
93. So that's why they call you MR. Flash!
94. My old girlfriend used to do it a LOT longer!
95. Is this a sin too?
96. I've slept with more women than Wilt Chamberlain!
97. Hey, when is it going to be my friend's turn?
98. Long kisses clog my sinuses...
99. Please understand that I'm only doing this for a raise...
100. How long do you plan to be "almost there"?
101. You mean you're NOT my blind date?
The doctor asks him how he's feeling. The 80-year-old says, "I've never felt better. I now
have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child.
What do you think about that?" The doctor considers his question for a minute and then
begins.
"I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid trophy hunter and never misses a
season. One day, when he was going out hunting, he was in a bit of a hurry and accidentally
picked up his walking cane instead of his gun. When he got to the creek, he saw a prime
beaver sitting beside the stream of water. He raised his cane and went 'bang, bang'.
Suddenly, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead. What do you think of that?"
The 80-year-old said, "I'd say somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver."
The doctor replied, "My point exactly."
__________________________________________________ _
daryl is driving over the west gate bridge one day when he sees his girlfriend shazza about to throw herself off
daryl slams on the brakes and yells, "shazza what the bloody hell d'ya think ya doin!"
shazza turns around with a tear in her eye and says"g'day daryl, you got me pregnant so now im gonna kill meself"
daryl gets a lump in his throat when he hears this, "shazza" he says, "fair dinkum, not only are ya a top root, but your a real sport too!"............and drives off....
__________________________________________________ ____
101 THINGS NOT TO SAY DURING SEX
1. But everybody looks funny naked!
2. You woke me up for that?
3. Did I mention the video camera?
4. Do you smell something burning?
5. (in a janitor's closet) And they say romance is dead...
6. Try breathing through your nose
7. A little rug burn ever hurt anyone!
8. Is that a Medic-Alert Pendant?
9. Sweetheart, did you lock the back door?
10. But whipped cream makes me break out
11. Person 1: This is your first time... right?
Person 2: Yeah... today
12. (in the No Tell Motel) Hurry up! This room rents by the Hour!
13. Can you please pass me the remote control?
14. Do you accept Visa?
15. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
16. On second thought, let's turn off the lights.
17. And to think- I was really trying to pick up your friend!
18. So much for mouth-to-mouth.
19. (using body paint) Try not to leave any stains, okay?
20. Hope you're as good looking when I'm sober...
21. (holding a banana) It's just a little trick I learned at the zoo!
22. Do you get any premium movie channels?
23. Try not to smear my make-up, will ya!
24. (preparing to use peanut butter sexually) But I just steam-cleaned this couch!
25. Got any penicillin?
26. But I just brushed my teeth...
27. Smile, you're on Candid Camera!
28. I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs!
29. I want a baby!
30. So much for the fulfillment of sexual fantasies!
31. (in a menage a trois) Why am I doing all the work?
32. Maybe we should call Dr. Ruth...
33. Did you know the ceiling needs painting?
34. I think you have it on backwards
35. When is this supposed to feel good?
36. Put that blender back in the kitchen where it belongs!
37. You're good enough to do this for a living!
38. Is that blood on the headboard?
39. Did I remember to take my pill?
40. Are you sure I don't know you from somewhere?
41. I wish we got the Playboy channel...
42. That leak better be from the waterbed!
43. I told you it wouldn't work without batteries!
44. But my cat always sleeps on that pillow
45. Did I tell you my Aunt Martha died in this bed?
46. If you quit smoking you might have more endurance...
47. No, really... I do this part better myself!
48. It's nice being in bed with a woman I don't have to inflate!
49. This would be more fun with a few more people..
50. You're almost as good as my ex!
51. Do you know the definition of statutory rape?
52. Is that you I smell or is it your mattress stuffed with rotten potatoes?
53. You look younger than you feel
54. Perhaps you're just out of practice
55. You sweat more than a galloping stallion!
56. They're not cracker crumbs, it's just a rash
57. Now I know why he/she dumped you...
58. Does your husband own a sawed-off shotgun?
59. You give me reason to conclude that foreplay is overrated
60. What tampon?
61. Have you ever considered liposuction?
62. And to think, I didn't even have to buy you dinner!
63. What are you planning to make for breakfast?
64. I have a confession...
65. I was so horny tonight I would have taken a duck home!
66. Are those real or am I just behind the times?
67. Were you by any chance repressed as a child?
68. Is that a hanging sculpture?
69. You'll stil vote for me, won't you?
70. Did I mention my transsexual operation?
71. I really hate women who actually think sex means something!
72. Did you come yet, dear?
73. I'll tell you who I'm fanatasizing about if you tell me who you're fantasizing about...
74. A good plastic surgeon can take care of that in no time!
75. Does this count as a date?
76. Oprah Winfrey had a show about men like you!
77. Hic! I need another beer for this please
78. I think biting is romantic- don't you?
79. You can cook, too right?
80. When would you like to meet my parents?
81. Man: Maybe it would help if I thought about someone I really like...
Woman: Yourself?
82. Have you seen "Fatal Attraction"?
83. Sorry about the name tags, I'm not very good with names
84. Don't mind me.. I always file my nails in bed
85. (in a phone booth) Do you mind if I make a few phone calls?
86. I hope I didn't forget to turn the gas oven off. Do you have a light?
87. Don't worry, my dog's really friendly for a Doberman.
88. Sorry but I don't do toes!
89. You could at least ACT like you're enjoying it!
90. Petroleum jelly or no petroleum jelly, I said NO!
91. Keep it down, my mother is a light sleeper...
92. I'll bet you didn't know I work for "The Enquirer"
93. So that's why they call you MR. Flash!
94. My old girlfriend used to do it a LOT longer!
95. Is this a sin too?
96. I've slept with more women than Wilt Chamberlain!
97. Hey, when is it going to be my friend's turn?
98. Long kisses clog my sinuses...
99. Please understand that I'm only doing this for a raise...
100. How long do you plan to be "almost there"?
101. You mean you're NOT my blind date?
Thread Starter
Registered User
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 1,434
From: Apple Isle
Re: Bored...
Q:Why are porcupines not like Volvo's?
A: cause porcupines have ****** on the outside!
Q: What's the difference between a Magna driver and a Volvo driver?
A: Magna drivers couldn't afford a Volvo
__________________________________________________ _______________
Guy comes home from work, and see's he's wife crying!
Asks her, whats wrong????
She says look at me, im fat, im ugly give me a complement to make me feel better!
He replys "yeah, you got good eye sight"
__________________________________________________ _______________
A man dies and ends up hell which he is extremely depressed about.
The devil approaches him one day and attempts to cheer him up.
"I'm in hell",the man responded.
"Hells not all that bad",the devil replied.Here look,do you like gambling?
"Yeah",the guy responded.
"Well on Monday we all gamble.Its gambling night".
The man perks up about it.
The devil kept talking.
"And do you like smoking?"
The man nodded.
"On tuesday its smoking night".
The man was beginning to cheer up.
"And no matter what you do,you dont have to worry about dying because you're already dead!,Satan exclaimed.
"Do you like drugs,because wednesday is the night we do drugs"
By now the grin on the mans face was a mile wide,so Satan continued.
"And thursday night is drinking night".
The man certainly felt better now.
Then Satan said,"Are you gay?"
The man shouted,"NO!"
"Oh....well,you're gonna hate fridays then".
__________________________________________________ _______________
The youngest sibling was at home waiting for family friends to come over for thanks giving, he walks into his brothers room where he is watching a porno, His oldest brother saying look at those **** and ****! the little brother asked, whats that mean? he replies "oh it just means coats and jackets", "oh" he replied and walked upstairs to where his mother was putting on lipstick as he went "BOO" to her, she said **** and had smeared her lipstick on her face, again the son had asked what does that mean? and she said "oh putting lipstick on your lips"
he walked back downstairs into the kitchen to where his dad was looking for his watch he had lost in the turkey while stuffing it, "F#CK", "daddy what does that mean?" he said oh son its stuffing the turkey, suddenly the door bell rings and the youngest son answers it,
the guests appeared at the front door as the son said "may i take your **** and **** for you??, my mum is putting **** on her face and my dad is f#cking the turkey".
__________________________________________________ _______________
Read on the aus300zx forum.. i just had to share this one..
"A woman was in a coma. Nurses were in her room giving her a sponge bath. One of them was washing her private area and noticed that there was a response on the monitor when she touched her.
They went to her husband and explained what happened, telling him, crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick and bring her out of the coma." The husband was sceptical, but they assured him that they'd close the curtains for privacy. The hubby finally agreed and went into his wife's room.
After a few minutes the woman's monitor flat lined, no pulse, no heart rate. The nurses ran into the room. " What happened?" they cried.
The husband said, "I guess she choked!!"
A: cause porcupines have ****** on the outside!
Q: What's the difference between a Magna driver and a Volvo driver?
A: Magna drivers couldn't afford a Volvo
__________________________________________________ _______________
Guy comes home from work, and see's he's wife crying!
Asks her, whats wrong????
She says look at me, im fat, im ugly give me a complement to make me feel better!
He replys "yeah, you got good eye sight"
__________________________________________________ _______________
A man dies and ends up hell which he is extremely depressed about.
The devil approaches him one day and attempts to cheer him up.
"I'm in hell",the man responded.
"Hells not all that bad",the devil replied.Here look,do you like gambling?
"Yeah",the guy responded.
"Well on Monday we all gamble.Its gambling night".
The man perks up about it.
The devil kept talking.
"And do you like smoking?"
The man nodded.
"On tuesday its smoking night".
The man was beginning to cheer up.
"And no matter what you do,you dont have to worry about dying because you're already dead!,Satan exclaimed.
"Do you like drugs,because wednesday is the night we do drugs"
By now the grin on the mans face was a mile wide,so Satan continued.
"And thursday night is drinking night".
The man certainly felt better now.
Then Satan said,"Are you gay?"
The man shouted,"NO!"
"Oh....well,you're gonna hate fridays then".
__________________________________________________ _______________
The youngest sibling was at home waiting for family friends to come over for thanks giving, he walks into his brothers room where he is watching a porno, His oldest brother saying look at those **** and ****! the little brother asked, whats that mean? he replies "oh it just means coats and jackets", "oh" he replied and walked upstairs to where his mother was putting on lipstick as he went "BOO" to her, she said **** and had smeared her lipstick on her face, again the son had asked what does that mean? and she said "oh putting lipstick on your lips"
he walked back downstairs into the kitchen to where his dad was looking for his watch he had lost in the turkey while stuffing it, "F#CK", "daddy what does that mean?" he said oh son its stuffing the turkey, suddenly the door bell rings and the youngest son answers it,
the guests appeared at the front door as the son said "may i take your **** and **** for you??, my mum is putting **** on her face and my dad is f#cking the turkey".
__________________________________________________ _______________
Read on the aus300zx forum.. i just had to share this one..
"A woman was in a coma. Nurses were in her room giving her a sponge bath. One of them was washing her private area and noticed that there was a response on the monitor when she touched her.
They went to her husband and explained what happened, telling him, crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick and bring her out of the coma." The husband was sceptical, but they assured him that they'd close the curtains for privacy. The hubby finally agreed and went into his wife's room.
After a few minutes the woman's monitor flat lined, no pulse, no heart rate. The nurses ran into the room. " What happened?" they cried.
The husband said, "I guess she choked!!"
Thread Starter
Registered User
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 1,434
From: Apple Isle
Re: Bored...
DAM THAT MOKNEY
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey and orders a drink. Much to
the bartender's dismay, the monkey starts running around and jumping up
and down on the bar. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats
them.
While the guy continues to sip his drink, the monkey grabs some sliced
limes and oranges, and eats them as well. The monkey then jumps onto
the pool table, grabs one of the billiard *****, sticks it in his
mouth, and to everyone's amazement, somehow swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just
did?"
The guy says "No, what?"
"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table...whole!"
"That doesn't surprise me," replied the guy, "he eats everything in sight.
I'll pay for the cue ball and the food he ate."
He finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the things that the
monkey ate, then leaves.
Two weeks later he's in the bar again and has his monkey with him. He
orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again.
While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino
cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out
and eats it.
The monkey then finds a peanut, and again sticks it up his butt, pulls
it out and eats it.
The bartender is disgusted.
"Do you see what your monkey is doing now?" he asks.
"No, what?" replies the guy.
"Well, he stuck a cherry and a peanut up his butt, pulled it out and
ate it!" said the bartender.
"That doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. "He still eats everything
in sight, but ever since he had to pass that cue ball, he measures
everything first."
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey and orders a drink. Much to
the bartender's dismay, the monkey starts running around and jumping up
and down on the bar. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats
them.
While the guy continues to sip his drink, the monkey grabs some sliced
limes and oranges, and eats them as well. The monkey then jumps onto
the pool table, grabs one of the billiard *****, sticks it in his
mouth, and to everyone's amazement, somehow swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just
did?"
The guy says "No, what?"
"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table...whole!"
"That doesn't surprise me," replied the guy, "he eats everything in sight.
I'll pay for the cue ball and the food he ate."
He finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the things that the
monkey ate, then leaves.
Two weeks later he's in the bar again and has his monkey with him. He
orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again.
While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino
cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out
and eats it.
The monkey then finds a peanut, and again sticks it up his butt, pulls
it out and eats it.
The bartender is disgusted.
"Do you see what your monkey is doing now?" he asks.
"No, what?" replies the guy.
"Well, he stuck a cherry and a peanut up his butt, pulled it out and
ate it!" said the bartender.
"That doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. "He still eats everything
in sight, but ever since he had to pass that cue ball, he measures
everything first."
Thread Starter
Registered User
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 1,434
From: Apple Isle
Re: Bored...
A man in a taxi cab taps the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screams bloody murder, loses control of the cab, and swerves onto the sidewalk before stopping just inches from a lamppost.
After checking to make sure the passenger is OK, the driver says "I'm sorry, but you scared the daylights out of me!"
"Sorry. I didn't realize a simple tap on the shoulder would freak you out so much," the passenger says.
"It's not your fault," replies the cabbie.
"Today is my first day on the job after 25 years of driving a hearse."
After checking to make sure the passenger is OK, the driver says "I'm sorry, but you scared the daylights out of me!"
"Sorry. I didn't realize a simple tap on the shoulder would freak you out so much," the passenger says.
"It's not your fault," replies the cabbie.
"Today is my first day on the job after 25 years of driving a hearse."
Registered User
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 223
From: Hobart, Tasmania
Re: Bored...
well well a post ***** as well,
ive never seen u do a wheelie gmb,
Ive only ever seen the "cant get traction attempts" that u do,
even timmyb can out wheelie you,
so wheres the pics then?
ive never seen u do a wheelie gmb,
Ive only ever seen the "cant get traction attempts" that u do,
even timmyb can out wheelie you,
so wheres the pics then?
