silent1

In the spring of 2001, I was an aspiring young go-getter about to graduate college with my master's degree. I traveled the nation interviewing with different companies. Wide eyed, and full of pride, the world was my oyster.

One company in particular caught my eye. They were located in Chicago and part of my interview was taking me out drinking with the boys. I **** you not, they wanted to see what I was made of.....but I digress. This company loved me, and I loved them. They flat out told me that tehy work the **** outta you, but you get PAID. One kid who started the year before was driving an M3, and several others were driving equally nice cars - all paid in full. I interviewed with them on campus, they invited me out to the bars that night (and paid for all of my drinks). A few days later they flew me out to Chicago where I met with a bunch of different managers. They ended up liking me so I flew out to meet the president and vice presidents of the company.

But the main obstacle was getting the ok from "the old man". Every single person who got into the company had to get the ok from this guy. From what I was told he would f*ck with your mind and he was pretty much a lunatic.

They flew me out a third time to meet with him. Being that I was so busy, I hadn't had a chance to do much laundry, so I decided to freeball it that day. I thought I was all bad *** because my girlfriend at the time (read: cheating, lying, *****) thought it was hot that my HUGE dick was naked under there. I later found out that it wasn't the biggest dick in the universe (and that she was a cheating lying *****). But I digress yet again....back to my *********. So, I was freeballing....and I decided to wear my best suit so I could impress this guy.

I flew into Chicago, got driven to this guy's 20 million dollar house on the lakefront which was made largely of marble, and had the interview. It *seemed* to go ok, but the guy kept looking at me weird. Being that I was told he was weird I thought nothing of it. At one point in the interview he just sat and stared at me.....being that I didn't know what else to do, I stared right back.

We drove back to the city, talked about the interview, and I thought it went pretty well. We stopped somewhere, I sat down and thought, "Man, my crotch sure is drafty", when I looked down and saw Superman staring right back at me. "OH MY ****ING GOD!!! MY **** AND ***** ARE HANGING OUT!!! ****!! WHAT THE F*CK DO I DO? I'm 600 miles away from home and my ****'s flapping like a wind sock!!", I thought. My pants were ripped from right under the fly to half way up my ***. Thankfully, the pants were loose enough to were you couldn't see my junk. Suffice it to say, I took very short steps the rest of the day.

What was worse was the thoughts going through my mind.....

"What if the guy interviewing me could see my *****!!!"

"What if that was the reason he kept staring at me!!"

"What if on Monday in the office, everybody talks about how they saw my dork in the interview!!

etc.......

Don't get me wrong, I'm not ashamed of Superman, but as proud as I am, I hardly think that if they asked to see my credentials, showing them my ***** would suffice.

So, I sat cross-legged like a woman for the rest of the day, and flew back home....broken and embarrassed. And after all of that, I was not offered the job.

What angered me the most about this situation was the fact that this suit was about 3 weeks old and I had only worn it twice. I went to where I bought it back in Pittsburgh and complained. I said to the lady working there......

Me: The crotch of these pants split wide open, I want them fixed.
Broad: Oh I'm sorry about that.
Me: Not as sorry as I was when I was in Chicago a few days ago and my gentials were there for all the world to see.
Broad:

I got them fixed, free of charge.

And that, my friends, is the most embarrasing thing that has ever happened to me.

The End

jimmyjammer

Cameron you need HELP quick!!!!

ftrain

In junior high in science class I use to sit next to the hottest girl in school. So me being the Italian Stallion thought she needed to know just how big I was. So one day with my yellow sweat pants I and sitting in class looking at her big *****. She was an early developer. All of a sudden I could feel the excitement growing and a boner sticking right up in the sweat pants. She caught a nice glimpse but needless to say the trick did not work out.

hessogood

Think it was senior year in high school sitting in an early british lit. class, tried to let out a little silent fart, turns out it wasn't little, nor was it silent...so I did what any other ******* would do, i kept a perfectly straight face and turned to this girl next to me, who was pretty damn hot, and siad not too loud but not to quiet "my god, that's gross!" She turned so red she couldn't even deny it.