Stunt Bike Forum - Men's Rules for Women

The Male Rules
>>
>>We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the
>>rules from the male side. These are their rules! Please note ...
>>these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
>>
>>1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up,
>>put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us
>>complaining about you leaving it down.
>>
>>1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see
>>if we can find the perfect present yet again!
>>
>>1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
>>
>>1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
>>tides. Let it be.
>>
>>1. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive
>>than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married
>>is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're
>>stuck with her.
>>
>>1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of
>>it that way.
>>
>>1. Crying is blackmail.
>>
>>1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints
>>do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!
>>Just say it!
>>
>>1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on the
>>calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
>>
>>1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes -- tops. What makes you think
>>we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look
>>good with your dress?
>>
>>1. Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
>>
>>1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
>>That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
>>
>>1. A headache that last for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
>>
>>1. Check your oil! Please.
>>
>>1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In
>>fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
>>
>>1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We
>>refuse to answer.
>>
>>1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the
>>ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
>>
>>1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
>>done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it
>>yourself.
>>
>>
>>1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.
>>
>>1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
>>
>>1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two
>>months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your
>>girlfriends.
>>
>>
>>1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
>>Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a
>>fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
>>
>>1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
>>
>>1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of
>>mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
>>
>>1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
>>nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth
>>the hassle.
>>
>>1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an
>>answer you don't want to hear.
>>
>>1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
>>
>>Really.
>>
>>
>>1. You have enough clothes.
>>
>>1. You have too many shoes.
>>
>>1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz
>>together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
>>
>>1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the
>>couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's
>>like camping.