Top 11 Sex Positions (Special emphasis on number 11 as this really happened!!) 1. The Teabagging The all time classic maneuver of tapping your cock on a chick's forehead whilst she is sucking on your balls, and uttering the timeless phrase--"Who's Your Daddy?" 2. The Houdini Going at it doggy-style until you are just about to cum, then pull out and spit on her back so she thinks that you have. When she turns around blow your load into her face. She is left shocked and amazed, wondering how you managed it. 3. The Angry Dragon Immediately after you blow your load in a girl's mouth, smack the back of her head and make it come out her nose. When she gets up, she'll look like an angry dragon. 4. Cum Guzzling Sperm Burping Bitch The once in a lifetime act of blowing a hot steamy load down the back of a girl's throat and then proceeding to give her a large cold bottle of your favorite carbonated drink, making her guzzle it down. Then shake her head vigorously back and forth to create the Cum Guzzling, Sperm Burping effect. A great way to impress your friends. 5. Dirty Sanchez A time honored event in which while laying the bone doggy-style, you insert your finger into her asshole. You then pull it out and wipe it across her upper lip, leaving a thin shit mustache. This makes her look like someone whose name is Dirty Sanchez. 6. The Donkey Punch Banging a girl doggy-style and then moments before you cum, you stick you dick in her ass and then punch her in the back of the neck. The blow to the neck will stun the muscles in her ass, which will constrict around the penis giving you a tremendous orgasmic experience when you ejaculate. 7. The Flaming Amazon This one's for all you pyromaniacs out there. When you're screwing some chick, right about when your about to cum, pull out and quickly grab the nearest lighter, and set her pubes on fire, then ... extinguish the flames with your gizz! 8. The Flying Camel As she is lying on her back and you are hammering her on your knees, you very carefully move forward and prop yourself (without using your arms) on your dick while it is still inserted into her vertical seafood taco. You then proceed to flap your arms and let out a long shrieking howl, much like a flying camel. Strictly a classy move. 9. The Screwnicorn When a dyke puts her strap-on dildo on her forehead and proceeds to go at her partner like a crazed unicorn. 10. The Zombie Mask While getting head from your favorite, unsuspecting, trash-barrel whore, tell her you want her to look right up at you with those "Pretty little Eyes" when you blow your load. Then, just when your ready to spew a good weeks worth of goo, blast that hefty load into both eyes. The temporary state of blindness will produce the zombie effect as she stumbles around the room with arms outstretched, and moaning like the walking dead. 11. Stanaford Mud Slide This can only take place while in a drunken stupor after a police dept. Christams Party, when you find yourself with your favorite 18 year old slut from your meat route. You engage in doggie style intercourse, but due to your level of intoxication you miss the intended hole and are butt ****ing her. She is not objecting, so obviously you are not either. After you pull one off and when she go's to the bathroom to finish what you couldnt, you begin to smell an all too familiar odor. When you pull the covers off and find that she has shit all over you, you know you have done it right. |
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STANAFORD MUDSLIDE Been There Done that one it's nasty!!!!!!I WAS WRECKED..When I Seen The Mess i freakd got up and Ran!. i left half my clothes in her dorm......when i got home i burned MY clothes and showered till my skin was bleeding...looked like i Banged Burrito to DEATH!!!! Thanks for the reminderLATA:D :D :D:cheers |
exit only!! :nono :nono :nono :yack :yack |
Just A quick Question since we are on the sexual naming game today! I got a stun-gun (no more assault charges because no more marks from blunt objects) and Have just been having a great time with it! Example say your 44 yr. old Buddy has a snotty ass 14 and 16 yr. old sons the minute they get mouthy or think it's fun to fart in your direction Zap the shit outa them! commands great amounts of respect! Anyway I am thinking this would add great Joy with my girl when I have her bent over the bike in the shop!! The Question is #1 would I shock Myself ?? and #2 what could it be named ??? |
thats too funny how about a RUSTY TROMBONE = WHEN A CHICK IS LICKING YOUR ASS AND JERKING YOU AT THE SAME TIME :twofinger LATERZ, BRIAN |
the rodeo (disclaimer my buddy told me about this one and its definatly offensive sooo read at ur own risk!) u go to a bar and find a hefty (read very big) lady start shootin the shit and get her to come back to ur place where ur friends are waitin. get her in yer room and start havin sexwith the lights off doggy style, then bout 10 min into it ur friends bust ito the room and turn the lights on (oneof which starts a stop watch) and u grab onto the girl as tight as u can and try and hold on for as long as possible while she tries to buck u off and cover up !!!!!!! |
Dirty Sanchez LMFAO!!!!!!!:jester |
[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by sclevela [/i] [B]the rodeo (disclaimer my buddy told me about this one and its definatly offensive sooo read at ur own risk!) u go to a bar and find a hefty (read very big) lady start shootin the shit and get her to come back to ur place where ur friends are waitin. get her in yer room and start havin sexwith the lights off doggy style, then bout 10 min into it ur friends bust ito the room and turn the lights on (oneof which starts a stop watch) and u grab onto the girl as tight as u can and try and hold on for as long as possible while she tries to buck u off and cover up !!!!!!! [/B][/QUOTE] [COLOR=red]That's Not The rodeo you got it all wrong It's when you get on top after about ten minutes you say to her"You do this Just like your sister" Then Hang on !!! Trust me I know from experiance on this one!![/COLOR] :apimp |
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