Jim Norton's Blurbs


I am a nice fellow and will not allow those unjust child pornography convictions to rain on my parade. People tell me that I'm sweet, as well as caring and a lot of fun to commit home invasions with. I like to take a girl out to dinner and get to know her, then drive to a secluded area and offer her money to cram a finger or six into my *******. I am something of a scamp and my sense of humor has raised eyebrows on more than one occasion (I have been known to tickle the feet of a quadriplegic while yelling Coochy Coochy Coo at the top of my lungs). My grandmother once said that not only was I incorrigible, but I was the funniest person she'd ever ****ed.
I also believe in helping other people and spreading good cheer. When it's freezing cold outside around the holidays and I see a homeless person, I sometimes resist the powerful urge to throw ice water in his face and yell racial epithets. I am not always the man about town I've portrayed myself to be; plenty of times I enjoy just curling up with the obituaries and prank calling the loved ones of the recently deseased (Do you have Prince Albert in a can? Perfect; at least he's not dead like your husband). I am also a bit sentimental, and can frequently be seen rifling through family pictures I've thrown in the garbage.

If you think that is funny, check Jim Norton out on the Opie & Anthony show on XM satellite radio or visit his website at www.eatabullet.com or his myspace site at www.myspace.com/jimnorton

 

that was funny ****....