So my Thursday started off pretty well. Gettin hammahed down the dell (upperclassmen apartments). Playin some beirut, runnin the table. So i come back to the dorms, and head into some other kids room that is next to me and watch dawn of the dead. Its liek 2 am, and im all fuct up, so i leave b/c i just wanna *** or sleep. So i leave, get ready for bed, and go brush my teeth. As im bout 2 shut my door, this girl is leaving the room i was just in. i go "hey, if you wanna swing by later on ill leave my door unlocked, so stop by and just come in"
so i go lay down.. COMPLETLY PASS THE *** OUT..some time later I get like pushed and i wake up and theres's this body layin next 2 me IN MY BED rubbin my chest.. I almost pissed myself + thot it was a guy rapist till i realized it was that same girl i told to come back..
So after i realize this, obviously im gonna turn ova and attemp some fun, who wouldnt? By this point im pretty drunk and shes just makin out w/ me and i want dome and to get laid. Im gettin VERY ANGRY because this bltch isnt suckin me off and is wasting my sleeping time. So i just climb on top of her, unroll my raincoat and wail it. :YEAH . So I bust right on the crack of her *** LIKE A CHAMP cuz i was hittin it from behind and I climb down and sleep on my futon, wake up for my 8 Am class and that gurl is still there USING BOTH MY F'IN PILLOWS. So im talking to my roomate later on, n he says how she left right after i did and that last night she...

1st: knocked on my door (i didnt wake up)
2nd: opened the door while jigglin the handle tons (i didnt wake up)
3rd: caughs in the middle of my room (i didnt wake up)
4th: starts sayin my name in a regular voice "Mauga.. mauga" (i didnt wake up)
5th: walks ova 2 my bottom bunk and says my name again (i didnt wake up)
6th: jumps up ontop my bed (because its like 3 feet off the ground) and crawls ova me to get onto the wall side (i didnt wake up)
7th: caughs again (i didnt wake up)
Lastly: she touches my chest cuz i sleep w/ boxers.... (the pimp finally awakens to take care of business)

She actually did all 8 of those because my roomate was no't drunk so he heard all of this 100%.

Oh, by the way dont use durex rainbow condoms b/c they break, and u'll prolly end up bustin inside her like i did.. Whose your daddy? Yeah she'll be sayin that about me to her son in about 9 months.. Good thing for B.C. :YEAH :YEAH :YEAH

ANOTHER fun night at the UmassDizzy

 

good job young jedi. I see the force is strong with this one.

 

condom broke cause you had it in your wallet for 3 years hoping to get laid... lol

**** condoms.. what are those things

 

Condoms are those things your mom and Dad should have used

 

damn 3 years yo..lol...wonder if that joint still had lube on it still....straight hospital glove now...lol....

 

Welcome to Stunt Life, we have a one time "free pass" wich you just used up. Any threads containin other such information MUST be followed up with pics in the future. Thank you, and have a good day!

 

good work soldier!!!!!

 

you should have followed it up with a "danza slap"

 

Haha...Who's the boss

 

yup you no that fooo!
http://www.urbandictionary.com/defin...erm=danza+slap

 

I'm the boss, bitch!

 

leaving a welt on the girls face!!! that is priceless!!!

 

hahaha...

comgndom, 1.15
BiirthCOntroll - tons oaaaf money
ruinin tttthis supit quote..PRICELESS BAIATCH!!!!!!

 

.....................ah ............what?

 

its ok, he is takin one for the team

 

http://www.tuckermax.com/tuckertriesbuttsex.html

 

that guy has the best stories ever

 

haha puts my story 2 shame!

 

one of the funniest things i've ever read