Why are SOME of you guys rude?
09-23-2004, 03:47 PM
#201
I Chose to No Longer Post
Join Date: Dec 2002
Age: 42
Posts: 6,267
Re: Why are SOME of you guys rude?
Originally Posted by ProzaK
A kid came home from school and asked his dad, "Dad, I heard some kids talking about a thing called a vagina. What is a vagina, and what does it look like?"
"Well, son, before sex it looks like a beautiful unopened rose."
"Wow, what does it look like after sex?"
"Well, son, have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonaise?"
"Well, son, before sex it looks like a beautiful unopened rose."
"Wow, what does it look like after sex?"
"Well, son, have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonaise?"
I havnet' lauged out loud that hard in along time good thing i'm the only one here!
09-23-2004, 03:48 PM
#203
Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Plymouth, MA
Age: 42
Posts: 5,582
Re: Why are SOME of you guys rude?
A guy goes to his eye doctor for an examination. They start talking as the doctor is examing his eyes. In the middle of their conversation, the doctor casually says, "You need to stop masturbating."
The guy replies, "Why Doc? Am I going blind?"
The doctor says, "No, but you're upsetting the other patients in the waiting room."
The guy replies, "Why Doc? Am I going blind?"
The doctor says, "No, but you're upsetting the other patients in the waiting room."
09-23-2004, 03:50 PM
#204
Registered User
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: brockton ma.
Posts: 238
Re: Why are SOME of you guys rude?
Originally Posted by Angel Of Death
I havnet' lauged out loud that hard in along time good thing i'm the only one here!
Thank Prozac for making bust a rib
09-23-2004, 03:50 PM
#205
Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Plymouth, MA
Age: 42
Posts: 5,582
Re: Why are SOME of you guys rude?
lol.... sorry guys..
One day a guy goes to his doctor and says, "Doc I have these real bad headaches. What should I do?"
The doctor replies, "Well, to get rid of my headaches I just have sex with my wife." They both laugh.
A week later the patient returns. The doctor asks, "How are you feeling?"
The patient smiles and replies" You were right! I feel so much better. And, by the way, Doc, you have a lovely home."
One day a guy goes to his doctor and says, "Doc I have these real bad headaches. What should I do?"
The doctor replies, "Well, to get rid of my headaches I just have sex with my wife." They both laugh.
A week later the patient returns. The doctor asks, "How are you feeling?"
The patient smiles and replies" You were right! I feel so much better. And, by the way, Doc, you have a lovely home."
09-23-2004, 03:51 PM
#206
Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Plymouth, MA
Age: 42
Posts: 5,582
Re: Why are SOME of you guys rude?
Once there were two farmers. One had a daughter and the other had a son. When thier kids were teenagers they started dating, and the two farners encouraged it. One day the girl's father went over to the other farmer's house and said that he didn't want thier children dating anymore. The boy's father asked, "Why not?"
The other farmer said, "Come here and I'll show you." In his yard was the girl's name written in pee in the snow.
The boy's father said, "Oh, come on, that's just boy stuff."
The other farmer said, "You think I dont' know my own daughter's handwriting?"
The other farmer said, "Come here and I'll show you." In his yard was the girl's name written in pee in the snow.
The boy's father said, "Oh, come on, that's just boy stuff."
The other farmer said, "You think I dont' know my own daughter's handwriting?"
09-23-2004, 03:51 PM
#207
what is he doing?
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: ny
Age: 43
Posts: 16,156
Re: Why are SOME of you guys rude?
One evening Mike went over to his friend Terry's house to play cards with
some friends. Mike sat directly across from Terry's wife.
Mike dropped a card on the floor and bent down to pick it up. When he
looked across the table he saw that Terry's wife had her legs open and no
panties on. He sat up and was flushed. He went into the kitchen to get a
drink of water. To his surprise Terry's wife had followed him into the
kitchen and said "Did you like what you saw?" Mike said "Yes I did." She
said, "Well you can get more than that but it will cost you $600.00"
So Mike thought about his financial situation and said O.K. She said come
here tomorrow at 2:30 because Terry will be at work then. Mike said, "I'll see you then." The next day, Mike came over, they had sex, he paid her,
then he left. Later, Terry came home and asked,
"Has Mike been over here today?" She said, thinking she had been caught,
"As a matter of fact, he did." Terry said, "Good because that fool came by
my job this morning and asked to borrow $600 till this evening, and he said
he would leave it with you."
some friends. Mike sat directly across from Terry's wife.
Mike dropped a card on the floor and bent down to pick it up. When he
looked across the table he saw that Terry's wife had her legs open and no
panties on. He sat up and was flushed. He went into the kitchen to get a
drink of water. To his surprise Terry's wife had followed him into the
kitchen and said "Did you like what you saw?" Mike said "Yes I did." She
said, "Well you can get more than that but it will cost you $600.00"
So Mike thought about his financial situation and said O.K. She said come
here tomorrow at 2:30 because Terry will be at work then. Mike said, "I'll see you then." The next day, Mike came over, they had sex, he paid her,
then he left. Later, Terry came home and asked,
"Has Mike been over here today?" She said, thinking she had been caught,
"As a matter of fact, he did." Terry said, "Good because that fool came by
my job this morning and asked to borrow $600 till this evening, and he said
he would leave it with you."
09-23-2004, 03:52 PM
#208
Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Whitman, Ma
Posts: 1,428
Re: Why are SOME of you guys rude?
Originally Posted by Bob McAvoy
I'm trying to keep my cool here at work and it's not working
Thank Prozac for making bust a rib
Thank Prozac for making bust a rib
09-23-2004, 03:54 PM
#209
Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Whitman, Ma
Posts: 1,428
Re: Why are SOME of you guys rude?
Originally Posted by KC Becky
One evening Mike went over to his friend Terry's house to play cards with
some friends. Mike sat directly across from Terry's wife.
Mike dropped a card on the floor and bent down to pick it up. When he
looked across the table he saw that Terry's wife had her legs open and no
panties on. He sat up and was flushed. He went into the kitchen to get a
drink of water. To his surprise Terry's wife had followed him into the
kitchen and said "Did you like what you saw?" Mike said "Yes I did." She
said, "Well you can get more than that but it will cost you $600.00"
So Mike thought about his financial situation and said O.K. She said come
here tomorrow at 2:30 because Terry will be at work then. Mike said, "I'll see you then." The next day, Mike came over, they had sex, he paid her,
then he left. Later, Terry came home and asked,
"Has Mike been over here today?" She said, thinking she had been caught,
"As a matter of fact, he did." Terry said, "Good because that fool came by
my job this morning and asked to borrow $600 till this evening, and he said
he would leave it with you."
some friends. Mike sat directly across from Terry's wife.
Mike dropped a card on the floor and bent down to pick it up. When he
looked across the table he saw that Terry's wife had her legs open and no
panties on. He sat up and was flushed. He went into the kitchen to get a
drink of water. To his surprise Terry's wife had followed him into the
kitchen and said "Did you like what you saw?" Mike said "Yes I did." She
said, "Well you can get more than that but it will cost you $600.00"
So Mike thought about his financial situation and said O.K. She said come
here tomorrow at 2:30 because Terry will be at work then. Mike said, "I'll see you then." The next day, Mike came over, they had sex, he paid her,
then he left. Later, Terry came home and asked,
"Has Mike been over here today?" She said, thinking she had been caught,
"As a matter of fact, he did." Terry said, "Good because that fool came by
my job this morning and asked to borrow $600 till this evening, and he said
he would leave it with you."
09-23-2004, 03:55 PM
#210
what is he doing?
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: ny
Age: 43
Posts: 16,156
Re: Why are SOME of you guys rude?
There was this couple that had been married for 20 years.
Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off
the light.
Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous.
She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit.
So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming,
romantic session, she turned on the lights. She looked down... and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated pleasure device... a vibrator!
Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one. She went completely ballistic.
"You impotent bastard," She screamed at him, "how could you be lying
to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!"
The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly:
"I'll explain the toy . . you explain the kids."
Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off
the light.
Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous.
She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit.
So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming,
romantic session, she turned on the lights. She looked down... and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated pleasure device... a vibrator!
Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one. She went completely ballistic.
"You impotent bastard," She screamed at him, "how could you be lying
to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!"
The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly:
"I'll explain the toy . . you explain the kids."
09-23-2004, 03:56 PM
#211
Registered User
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: MA.- 508
Age: 44
Posts: 1,629
Re: Why are SOME of you guys rude?
Originally Posted by KC Becky
There was this couple that had been married for 20 years.
Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off
the light.
Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous.
She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit.
So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming,
romantic session, she turned on the lights. She looked down... and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated pleasure device... a vibrator!
Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one. She went completely ballistic.
"You impotent bastard," She screamed at him, "how could you be lying
to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!"
The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly:
"I'll explain the toy . . you explain the kids."
Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off
the light.
Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous.
She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit.
So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming,
romantic session, she turned on the lights. She looked down... and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated pleasure device... a vibrator!
Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one. She went completely ballistic.
"You impotent bastard," She screamed at him, "how could you be lying
to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!"
The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly:
"I'll explain the toy . . you explain the kids."
09-23-2004, 03:58 PM
#212
Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Plymouth, MA
Age: 42
Posts: 5,582
Re: Why are SOME of you guys rude?
HAHAHA becky your crakin me up i peed as well
Ba Ba Black Sheep
Clem pulled over the car by the side of the road and showed Jed where he'd first had sex.
"It was right down there by that tree. I remember the day plainly. It was a warm summer day. She and I were so much in love. We walked down to the tree and made love for hours," Clem recalled.
"That sounds wonderful," said Jed.
"Yes. It was okay until I looked up and noticed her mother was standing right there watching us."
"Oh my God! What did her mother say when she saw you making love to her daughter?"
"Baaaaa..."
Ba Ba Black Sheep
Clem pulled over the car by the side of the road and showed Jed where he'd first had sex.
"It was right down there by that tree. I remember the day plainly. It was a warm summer day. She and I were so much in love. We walked down to the tree and made love for hours," Clem recalled.
"That sounds wonderful," said Jed.
"Yes. It was okay until I looked up and noticed her mother was standing right there watching us."
"Oh my God! What did her mother say when she saw you making love to her daughter?"
"Baaaaa..."
09-23-2004, 04:00 PM
#214
Re: Why are SOME of you guys rude?
Originally Posted by SickF*ck6969
whoops dont think i spelled uppity right, did I allmoney... 
You did just fine sweetheart
I was just trying to help out w/the facade thing, not try to be a beetatch 
09-23-2004, 04:01 PM
#216
Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Whitman, Ma
Posts: 1,428
Re: Why are SOME of you guys rude?
Originally Posted by allmoney1996
You did just fine sweetheart I was just trying to help out w/the facade thing, not try to be a beetatch
I was just trying to help out w/the facade thing, not try to be a beetatch
09-23-2004, 04:04 PM
#217
Re: Why are SOME of you guys rude?
Originally Posted by shtbx
yea well i don't think its facade, that so doesn't look right
Eat me, k?? Main Entry: fa·cade
Variant(s): also fa·çade /f&-'säd/
Function: noun
Etymology: French façade, from Italian facciata, from faccia face, from (assumed) Vulgar Latin facia
1 : the front of a building; also : any face of a building given special architectural treatment <a museum's east facade>
2 : a false, superficial, or artificial appearance or effect
09-23-2004, 04:05 PM
#218
what is he doing?
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: ny
Age: 43
Posts: 16,156
Re: Why are SOME of you guys rude?
Originally Posted by ProzaK
What do you get when you cross a cabbagepatch doll whith the pillsbary dough boy?
A short ugly chick with a yeast infection.
A short ugly chick with a yeast infection.
When is ok to spank your kids???
(i've posted this before..but it still cracks me up)
09-23-2004, 04:05 PM
#219
Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Plymouth, MA
Age: 42
Posts: 5,582
Re: Why are SOME of you guys rude?
this one goes out to TT600
A young man walked up and sat down at the bar. "What can I get you?" the bartender inquired. "I want 6 shots of Jagermeister," responded the young man.
"6 shots?? Are you celebrating something?" Yeah, my first *******," the man answered. "Well, in that case, let me give you a 7th on the house."
"No offense, sir. But if 6 shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."
A young man walked up and sat down at the bar. "What can I get you?" the bartender inquired. "I want 6 shots of Jagermeister," responded the young man.
"6 shots?? Are you celebrating something?" Yeah, my first *******," the man answered. "Well, in that case, let me give you a 7th on the house."
"No offense, sir. But if 6 shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."
09-23-2004, 04:06 PM
#220
Registered User
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: MA.- 508
Age: 44
Posts: 1,629
Re: Why are SOME of you guys rude?
Originally Posted by allmoney1996
Um, don't think it then Eat me, k??
Main Entry: fa·cade
Variant(s): also fa·çade /f&-'säd/
Function: noun
Etymology: French façade, from Italian facciata, from faccia face, from (assumed) Vulgar Latin facia
1 : the front of a building; also : any face of a building given special architectural treatment <a museum's east facade>
2 : a false, superficial, or artificial appearance or effect
Eat me, k?? Main Entry: fa·cade
Variant(s): also fa·çade /f&-'säd/
Function: noun
Etymology: French façade, from Italian facciata, from faccia face, from (assumed) Vulgar Latin facia
1 : the front of a building; also : any face of a building given special architectural treatment <a museum's east facade>
2 : a false, superficial, or artificial appearance or effect
