I'm sick of all the bullshit, so I've decided to run for President and see if I can't make a few changes around here and get our country back on track again.

We lost 3,000 people on 9/11. The WTC was bombed in 1993. And to this day, while 1/5 of our children don't eat, we let MORE AND MORE GOD DAMN PEOPLE INTO THIS COUNTRY.

Can we take a 1 year break, please? Maybe we can redesign the Statue of
Liberty to stick out her middle finger.

Can we please just have time to figure out how to catch the next Atta,
instead of giving 4 more, just like him, a f.ucking scholarship? Does
Gunther Gigglepuss and Jean Luc Magnifique and Ashrar Hal-Al Haziz Jacobs need to come to this country for us to survive? That's enough. No more...unless they are hot chicks or make cool movies or can hit a baseball.

F U C K 'em all. Go to Cuba or the Bahamas. Get a tan. leave us alone
until we figure out how to weed out the current *********. Then we take every criminal, pedophile and ugly person on a ship to the moon. One way
ticket. Then we'll have more vacancies. And we should charge a $200 'F U C K you' fee for every new citizen that will go to every poor embarrassed white
person, because if you are white in this country, you shouldn't be poor. If you are, you are a douchy douchy doo and should be ashamed.

Another thing: revamp the Ghetto. Take all the low level degenerates
who **** in the elevator and sell drugs or sit on the stoop all day and
tell them they are going on vacation. Put them on ships and send them to the
gulags. Then, take the shitty run down buildings and KFCs and pawn
shops and let little arab boys blow them up so they finally get it out of
their system. Then send them to the gulags, just in case they enjoy blowing
**** up. I bet they will. You know how they are.

Then turn them into a Disneyworld. The Ghettos, not the arabs. Pay attention. The ghetto folk who were at least working can work there AND live
there. Hey, you get paid to LIVE in an amusement park, the MAN ain't so bad now, ain't that right, chocolate shizzle?

Now, about the rest of the world: I think they suck. But I don't want
to drop nukes because then people will cry and complain and **** me off and
waste my valuable masturbating/riding time. I can't have that. So what we do instead is drop big loads of dog **** and **** on them and say "hahahaha". If they don't like it, we drop bombs and say "Hey, is this better?" If they
complain, then we turn their countries into parking lots and stunt all over them. Besides, if God didn't want me to turn their country into rubble, he
would have just told me.

Now that the other countries are out of the way, I can focus on
domestic affairs. First, health care. I am healthy, and I don't care about you. As for the economy, with less chocolate shizzles and two toothed, white, **** kicking hicks (Oh, I forgot, we turn them into wonder bread to feed the poor around the world), we have more money to go around...for my white corporate buddies. And some for you, too.

So now that the economy and healthcare are taken care of. There is one
more domestic affair I must put all my attention on. Who will I f.uck when
my girlfriend isn't home? I am thinking of having a few interns. But not chubby ones, god damnit, of course not. What kind of a person do you think I am??

VOTE CHRIS IN '04

Note: the preceding message sponsored by the good people of Budweiser, who thank you for drinking Bud Light

 

/Salutes flag.

 

Now that sounds like a government I would fight for...............half-assed

You should appoint me to the position of defense secretary. Screw this armywakeupat3inthemorning bullshit. We'd be on my schedule, kick some *** when I want to, crack a beer and blaze a blunt when we're done, and laugh at the ****ing pansies we anhialated. I don't need to be in peak physical condition to make some ****ing morons realize they're better off dead.

 

My sentiments exactly! My job would be so much better if we woke up at 2pm and rolled into work whenever we wanted too, with a 12 pack under each arm.

Speaking of, If od1's the Defense Secratary, make me the Under Secratary of Vengance. I'd have whole batallion of Marines fighting an underground war against scumbag drug dealers and thiefs, "Boondock Saints" style.

Our first mission would be to find all your stolen bikes, unless you register to "not have your bike found" wink wink. And beat up all the thugs who stole your bikes. Who in their right mind is gonna **** with a battalion of Marines?

 

Dibbs on vice president.

 

You got my vote!!!!

 

You'd be all good as long as there's not a height requirement


How ya been Chris...heard you bought a can-o-tuna wtf????

 

When I get elected, I'm gonna have Donald Trump come over your house so he can tell you the news.... "You're Fired!" All kids should be home-schooled. Teachers don't teach the kids anymore, they just try to seduce them so that they can have their babies.
And as far as being short, look at Napoleon - he did a pretty good job, no?

 

I'm good, I still like pizza and beer.
And as far as the Tuna goes... well, a motorcycle is just an extension of one's *****. Therefore, the size of the bike is directly improportional to the size of the rider.

 

you got my vote bro

 

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

 

Awww bitter Jay- that's why I quit today

 

well, i am a shoe in for the crazy brother that gasses the immergrants. lol

 

Chris you will never win. Bush for president!!!

 

Well, I have the camping vote!

Now I just have to work on the negroes.

 

Fried chicken and collard greens! They love it!

 

What do you plan on doing for black people? I like being able to flash my race card at moment's notice. You will need to court us and promise us reparations, or your political career will be shorter than Prozak's ****.

 

We do love our chicken.

 

See ya in 2008!