Holy ****! This movie almost has everything. The movie starts out with this chick (who is a 6 at the beginning, but by the end of the movie you're thinking she's an 8 because it's non-stop tit-sagging from fat zombie bitches from this point on) in a hospital, then she talks to her co-worker for what seems like hours and you think you're in the wrong movie because already there's way too much dialogue/plot building or whatever you call it. That's where the genius of the director comes in: he made it like this on purpose so you'll have time to adjust your face before it's rocked off. Almost immediately after that there's a shower scene which sucks because there's a guy in it and you have to state loudly that you think it's "gay" or something along those lines so nobody will question your sexuality. Then it's onto the zombies.

The zombies in this movie are the ultimate evolution of the walking dead. Forget the wuss-burger zombies in "28 Days Later" that eventually die on their own, these zombies are the real deal. First of all, these zombies are fast (even the fat ones). Imagine the fastest Olympic runner you've ever seen, now double that speed and pretend the zombies aren't Kenyan. That's how fast these zombies move, which sucks if you're a zombie because you get your ***** stomped on by an army of undead ball stompers if you trip (most zombies stomp on your nuts even when they don't have to just out of spite.. or at least I would):

Santa did something to **** Lobo off (or nothing, it makes no difference), and Lobo RUINED HIS ****. Lobo is a mean son of a bitch and doesn't take **** from anyone. If they made a movie about Lobo, it would start out with Lobo just sitting around looking at **** and minding his own business when some lame-*** comes by and starts nerding all over the place. Lobo takes his knife out and disembowels the guy while he's just standing there. The guy would start screaming because he's a *****, then Lobo would reach down and rip the guy's lungs out. The rest of the movie would be mostly filled with Lobo wiping out villages of people, yelling at hospital patients and head-butting mimes. Lobo could kick any superhero's *** and it's high time he had his own movie. Lobo versus Daredevil? Oh yeah, so back to Daredevil.