My life is a fucking mess, why go on
Thread Starter
I Enjoy Posting At StuntLife!
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 1,197
From: Chicago!
My life is a ******* mess, why go on
I have absolutely nothing going for me.
Today I ate a free lunch at some Japanese place and already I can feel the liquishits congealing in my colon. Soon I will be ejecting fiery gut wash from my anus, and I'm positive that it will be at least mildly uncomfortable.
I don’t have a girlfriend since I broke off my engagement last January, and it’s been almost a full year since I've been in a real relationship. As such, I've been designated the token gay guy in addition to being the token black guy. I don’t have enough self esteem to even talk to a girl… They need to approach me, but only if they’re perfect 10’s with at least a D cup, an *** that's big enough to have a picnic on, great attitudes and PH.D in Fornication. Is that too much to ask?
My car sux. I bought it last October from Slammed Slim Shady. Yeah, on the surface, it seems like a cool car, but the seatback continues to fall off and irritate me to no end. I tried taking the cheap way out and velcro'ing it back together, but even that is falling apart. I could dump some dollars into having Nissan fix it, but that wouldn’t stop me from crying myself to sleep at night.
I'm morbidly obese, at 40 pounds overweight I look like the god damned Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man – Even on the same scale as the Ghostbusters movie. I think there’s a miniature Dan Ackroyd riding somewhere on my shoulder. Smoking pot every other hour does not seem to help either. However it does help that the one girl who is remotely interested in me is not that far away in the poundage category.
I owe 193 gajillion dollars in loans. I'll be in debt forever, and prolly 7 more years after I die. This is due to the fact that for some reason, I thought that if I went to top universities, I'd come out making six figures. School was, is, and will always be overrated. I work with people that I suspect went to Clown College, and they make more than me. Probably because they're not black, but I am not sure. Furthermore, because I am idiot, I subject to even higher levels of debt by taking lavish vacations, buying motorcycles, and buying 2 pounds of pot every month.
I hate my job. I work no less than 50 hours a week each week - sometimes approaching 80 hours a week. I need a ******' chainsaw to get thru the red tape here. It doesn't matter how good a job you do; it's all based on seniority. I could work my *** off, and I'll prolly get no further than the average slacker who barely gets by. And I can't leave because there are no jobs and I'd be forced to take a job a Wal Mart pushing the buggies back to the building. I'm too ugly to be the greeter.
Even god hates me. He called me on my cell-phone last night to make fun of me (he blocked his caller ID but I could totally recognize the booming omnipotent voice). “Pitiful waste of my essence,” he said. “I could have made damn near 63 ferrets with your considerable body mass.”
Woe is me, what have I done to deserve such a terrible fate? I can barely hold the resolve to just sit here and wait for things to get better on their own.
That is all.
Please note that the forementioned novel was an exercise on satire and should not be taken seriously.
Today I ate a free lunch at some Japanese place and already I can feel the liquishits congealing in my colon. Soon I will be ejecting fiery gut wash from my anus, and I'm positive that it will be at least mildly uncomfortable.
I don’t have a girlfriend since I broke off my engagement last January, and it’s been almost a full year since I've been in a real relationship. As such, I've been designated the token gay guy in addition to being the token black guy. I don’t have enough self esteem to even talk to a girl… They need to approach me, but only if they’re perfect 10’s with at least a D cup, an *** that's big enough to have a picnic on, great attitudes and PH.D in Fornication. Is that too much to ask?
My car sux. I bought it last October from Slammed Slim Shady. Yeah, on the surface, it seems like a cool car, but the seatback continues to fall off and irritate me to no end. I tried taking the cheap way out and velcro'ing it back together, but even that is falling apart. I could dump some dollars into having Nissan fix it, but that wouldn’t stop me from crying myself to sleep at night.
I'm morbidly obese, at 40 pounds overweight I look like the god damned Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man – Even on the same scale as the Ghostbusters movie. I think there’s a miniature Dan Ackroyd riding somewhere on my shoulder. Smoking pot every other hour does not seem to help either. However it does help that the one girl who is remotely interested in me is not that far away in the poundage category.
I owe 193 gajillion dollars in loans. I'll be in debt forever, and prolly 7 more years after I die. This is due to the fact that for some reason, I thought that if I went to top universities, I'd come out making six figures. School was, is, and will always be overrated. I work with people that I suspect went to Clown College, and they make more than me. Probably because they're not black, but I am not sure. Furthermore, because I am idiot, I subject to even higher levels of debt by taking lavish vacations, buying motorcycles, and buying 2 pounds of pot every month.
I hate my job. I work no less than 50 hours a week each week - sometimes approaching 80 hours a week. I need a ******' chainsaw to get thru the red tape here. It doesn't matter how good a job you do; it's all based on seniority. I could work my *** off, and I'll prolly get no further than the average slacker who barely gets by. And I can't leave because there are no jobs and I'd be forced to take a job a Wal Mart pushing the buggies back to the building. I'm too ugly to be the greeter.
Even god hates me. He called me on my cell-phone last night to make fun of me (he blocked his caller ID but I could totally recognize the booming omnipotent voice). “Pitiful waste of my essence,” he said. “I could have made damn near 63 ferrets with your considerable body mass.”
Woe is me, what have I done to deserve such a terrible fate? I can barely hold the resolve to just sit here and wait for things to get better on their own.
That is all.
Please note that the forementioned novel was an exercise on satire and should not be taken seriously.
Last edited by silent1; Feb 6, 2003 at 04:16 PM.
Registered User
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 5,582
From: Plymouth, MA
Re: My life is a ******* mess, why go on
Originally posted by silent1
I have absolutely nothing going for me.
YES YOU DO CAM YOUR BLACK>> YOU HAVE A BIG ****
Today I ate a free lunch at some Japanese place and already I can feel the liquishits congealing in my colon. Soon I will be ejecting fiery gut wash from my anus, and I'm positive that it will be at least mildly uncomfortable.
**** HAPPENS
I don’t have a girlfriend since I broke off my engagement last January, and it’s been almost a full year since I've been in a real relationship. As such, I've been designated the token gay guy in addition to being the token black guy. I don’t have enough self esteem to even talk to a girl… They need to approach me, but only if they’re perfect 10’s with at least a D cup, an *** that's big enough to have a picnic on, great attitudes and PH.D in Fornication. Is that too much to ask?
ACCEPT THE FACT THAT YOUR GAY... WE WILL GET YOU A LOVER DONT WORRY
My car sux. I bought it last October from Slammed Slim Shady. Yeah, on the surface, it seems like a cool car, but the seatback continues to fall off and irritate me to no end. I tried taking the cheap way out and velcro'ing it back together, but even that is falling apart. I could dump some dollars into having Nissan fix it, but that wouldn’t stop me from crying myself to sleep at night.
YES SLAM IS A SCAM ARTIST.. HE SUX *****
WHAT DO THEY CALL A BLACK USED CAR SALESMAN ANYWAY ?
I'm morbidly obese, at 40 pounds overweight I look like the god damned Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man – Even on the same scale as the Ghostbusters movie. I think there’s a miniature Dan Ackroyd riding somewhere on my shoulder. Smoking pot every other hour does not seem to help either. However it does help that the one girl who is remotely interested in me is not that far away in the poundage category.
YOU LOOK LIKE THE STAY PUFF MARSHMELLOW MAN BURNT
I owe 193 gajillion dollars in loans. I'll be in debt forever, and prolly 7 more years after I die. This is due to the fact that for some reason, I thought that if I went to top universities, I'd come out making six figures. School was, is, and will always be overrated. I work with people that I suspect went to Clown College, and they make more than me. Probably because they're not black, but I am not sure. Furthermore, because I am idiot, I subject to even higher levels of debt by taking lavish vacations, buying motorcycles, and buying 2 pounds of pot every month.
EVERYONE HATES BLACK PEOPLE>>> ACCEPT IT
BLACK AND GAY>> NOW THAT SUX
I hate my job. I work no less than 50 hours a week each week - sometimes approaching 80 hours a week. I need a ******' chainsaw to get thru the red tape here. It doesn't matter how good a job you do; it's all based on seniority. I could work my *** off, and I'll prolly get no further than the average slacker who barely gets by. And I can't leave because there are no jobs and I'd be forced to take a job a Wal Mart pushing the buggies back to the building. I'm too ugly to be the greeter.
YOULL NEVER GET A GOOD JOB YOUR BLACK
Even god hates me. He called me on my cell-phone last night to make fun of me (he blocked his caller ID but I could totally recognize the booming omnipotent voice). “Pitiful waste of my essence,” he said. “I could have made damn near 63 ferrets with your considerable body mass.”
YOUR BLACK
Woe is me, what have I done to deserve such a terrible fate? I can barely hold the resolve to just sit here and wait for things to get better on their own.
IT DOESNT GET BETTER>>> YOUR BLACK TAKE UP RAPPING
That is all.
I have absolutely nothing going for me.
YES YOU DO CAM YOUR BLACK>> YOU HAVE A BIG ****
Today I ate a free lunch at some Japanese place and already I can feel the liquishits congealing in my colon. Soon I will be ejecting fiery gut wash from my anus, and I'm positive that it will be at least mildly uncomfortable.
**** HAPPENS
I don’t have a girlfriend since I broke off my engagement last January, and it’s been almost a full year since I've been in a real relationship. As such, I've been designated the token gay guy in addition to being the token black guy. I don’t have enough self esteem to even talk to a girl… They need to approach me, but only if they’re perfect 10’s with at least a D cup, an *** that's big enough to have a picnic on, great attitudes and PH.D in Fornication. Is that too much to ask?
ACCEPT THE FACT THAT YOUR GAY... WE WILL GET YOU A LOVER DONT WORRY
My car sux. I bought it last October from Slammed Slim Shady. Yeah, on the surface, it seems like a cool car, but the seatback continues to fall off and irritate me to no end. I tried taking the cheap way out and velcro'ing it back together, but even that is falling apart. I could dump some dollars into having Nissan fix it, but that wouldn’t stop me from crying myself to sleep at night.
YES SLAM IS A SCAM ARTIST.. HE SUX *****
WHAT DO THEY CALL A BLACK USED CAR SALESMAN ANYWAY ?
I'm morbidly obese, at 40 pounds overweight I look like the god damned Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man – Even on the same scale as the Ghostbusters movie. I think there’s a miniature Dan Ackroyd riding somewhere on my shoulder. Smoking pot every other hour does not seem to help either. However it does help that the one girl who is remotely interested in me is not that far away in the poundage category.
YOU LOOK LIKE THE STAY PUFF MARSHMELLOW MAN BURNT
I owe 193 gajillion dollars in loans. I'll be in debt forever, and prolly 7 more years after I die. This is due to the fact that for some reason, I thought that if I went to top universities, I'd come out making six figures. School was, is, and will always be overrated. I work with people that I suspect went to Clown College, and they make more than me. Probably because they're not black, but I am not sure. Furthermore, because I am idiot, I subject to even higher levels of debt by taking lavish vacations, buying motorcycles, and buying 2 pounds of pot every month.
EVERYONE HATES BLACK PEOPLE>>> ACCEPT IT
BLACK AND GAY>> NOW THAT SUX
I hate my job. I work no less than 50 hours a week each week - sometimes approaching 80 hours a week. I need a ******' chainsaw to get thru the red tape here. It doesn't matter how good a job you do; it's all based on seniority. I could work my *** off, and I'll prolly get no further than the average slacker who barely gets by. And I can't leave because there are no jobs and I'd be forced to take a job a Wal Mart pushing the buggies back to the building. I'm too ugly to be the greeter.
YOULL NEVER GET A GOOD JOB YOUR BLACK
Even god hates me. He called me on my cell-phone last night to make fun of me (he blocked his caller ID but I could totally recognize the booming omnipotent voice). “Pitiful waste of my essence,” he said. “I could have made damn near 63 ferrets with your considerable body mass.”
YOUR BLACK
Woe is me, what have I done to deserve such a terrible fate? I can barely hold the resolve to just sit here and wait for things to get better on their own.
IT DOESNT GET BETTER>>> YOUR BLACK TAKE UP RAPPING
That is all.
I Have Too Much Free Time
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 12,735
From: Diddleboro , MA
IM ******* DYING OVER HERE!
AHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHH AHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAH AHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHHAHAH HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHA HAHAAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHA HAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHA HHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHH AHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAH AHHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAH AHHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHA
Tizone's explanations kill me.
YO CAM! I'll fix ur seat bro.
AHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHH AHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAH AHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHHAHAH HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHA HAHAAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHA HAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHA HHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHH AHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAH AHHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAH AHHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHA
Tizone's explanations kill me.
YO CAM! I'll fix ur seat bro.
I Chose to No Longer Post
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 6,267
I .. suddenly... feel better about my own llife! Thanks! Even with the prospect of going straight to Iraq for a year plus. At least it's a guarenteed paycheck for the next 3 years 340 days. Good luck man, and remember, suicde is always an option.
