View Poll Results: what was up my ass
broomstick
9
7.69%
my middle finger
35
29.91%
curling iron
11
9.40%
water buffalo
34
29.06%
sharpie
16
13.68%
nothing
12
10.26%
Voters: 117. You may not vote on this poll
what do you think i stuck up my *** last night
bp chaser
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 85,653
From: LI, NY and I drive in Australia
Re: what do you think i stuck up my *** last night
Originally Posted by LEASIN IT
James Bond walks into a bar and sits next to a beautiful young blonde woman. After a few minutes he starts to look at his watch.
"Your date late?" the blonde asks.
"No, " replies Bond, "This is a new watch that communicates with me telepathically using alpha waves."
The blonde then asks "Really, well what's it telling you right now?"
Bond looks down at his watch and says "It's telling me your not wearing any panties."
The blonde grins and tell Bond "I'm sorry but that's wrong. I'm wearing a thong."
"Bloody hell, " Bond says, "The damn things an hour fast."
"Your date late?" the blonde asks.
"No, " replies Bond, "This is a new watch that communicates with me telepathically using alpha waves."
The blonde then asks "Really, well what's it telling you right now?"
Bond looks down at his watch and says "It's telling me your not wearing any panties."
The blonde grins and tell Bond "I'm sorry but that's wrong. I'm wearing a thong."
"Bloody hell, " Bond says, "The damn things an hour fast."
bp chaser
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 85,653
From: LI, NY and I drive in Australia
Re: what do you think i stuck up my *** last night
A ninja walks into a bar and sits down next to a beautiful young blonde woman. After a few minutes he whips out his... laptop and starts posting. Then kills the bartender, silently and effortlessly. Then bangs the chick
Registered User
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 6,336
From: The Murda Mitten
Re: what do you think i stuck up my *** last night
Originally Posted by MikeM
A ninja walks into a bar and sits down next to a beautiful young blonde woman. After a few minutes he whips out his... laptop and starts posting. Then kills the bartender, silently and effortlessly. Then bangs the chick
Registered User
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 6,336
From: The Murda Mitten
Re: what do you think i stuck up my *** last night
theres a blonde a brunette and a redhead in an elevator. they go down a floor and a man gets on. they go down another floor and the man leaves. the redhead turns to the others and says "that guy was HOTT!!", the brunette looks at her and says "he needed head and shoulders" and the blonde looks at both of them and asks "how do you give shoulders?"
bp chaser
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 85,653
From: LI, NY and I drive in Australia
Re: what do you think i stuck up my *** last night
Originally Posted by LEASIN IT
theres a blonde a brunette and a redhead in an elevator. they go down a floor and a man gets on. they go down another floor and the man leaves. the redhead turns to the others and says "that guy was HOTT!!", the brunette looks at her and says "he needed head and shoulders" and the blonde looks at both of them and asks "how do you give shoulders?"
Registered User
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 6,336
From: The Murda Mitten
Re: what do you think i stuck up my *** last night
hree tortoises, Mick, Alan and Les, decide to go on a picnic. So Mick packs the picnic basket with beer and sandwiches. The trouble is the picnic site is ten miles away so it takes them ten days to get there.
When they get there Mick unpacks the food and beer. "Ok Les Give me the bottle opener."
"I didn't bring it, " says Les. "I thought you packed it."
Mick gets worried, He turns to Alan, "Did you bring the bottle opener??"
Naturally Alan didn't bring it. So they're stuck ten miles from Home without a bottle opener. Mick and Alan beg Les to go back for It, but he refuses as he says they will eat all the sandwiches.
After two hours, and after they have sworn on their tortoise Lives that they will not eat the sandwiches, he finally agrees. So Les sets off down the road at a steady pace.
Twenty days pass and he still isn't back and Mick and Alan are starving, but a promise is a promise.
Another five days and he still isn't back, but a promise is a promise. Finally they can't take it any longer so they take out a Sandwich each, and just as they are about to eat it, Les pops up from behind a rock and shouts........
"I KNEW IT!......I'M NOT F*CKING GOING!"
When they get there Mick unpacks the food and beer. "Ok Les Give me the bottle opener."
"I didn't bring it, " says Les. "I thought you packed it."
Mick gets worried, He turns to Alan, "Did you bring the bottle opener??"
Naturally Alan didn't bring it. So they're stuck ten miles from Home without a bottle opener. Mick and Alan beg Les to go back for It, but he refuses as he says they will eat all the sandwiches.
After two hours, and after they have sworn on their tortoise Lives that they will not eat the sandwiches, he finally agrees. So Les sets off down the road at a steady pace.
Twenty days pass and he still isn't back and Mick and Alan are starving, but a promise is a promise.
Another five days and he still isn't back, but a promise is a promise. Finally they can't take it any longer so they take out a Sandwich each, and just as they are about to eat it, Les pops up from behind a rock and shouts........
"I KNEW IT!......I'M NOT F*CKING GOING!"
Registered User
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,451
From: MA
Re: what do you think i stuck up my *** last night
Originally Posted by LEASIN IT
hree tortoises, Mick, Alan and Les, decide to go on a picnic. So Mick packs the picnic basket with beer and sandwiches. The trouble is the picnic site is ten miles away so it takes them ten days to get there.
When they get there Mick unpacks the food and beer. "Ok Les Give me the bottle opener."
"I didn't bring it, " says Les. "I thought you packed it."
Mick gets worried, He turns to Alan, "Did you bring the bottle opener??"
Naturally Alan didn't bring it. So they're stuck ten miles from Home without a bottle opener. Mick and Alan beg Les to go back for It, but he refuses as he says they will eat all the sandwiches.
After two hours, and after they have sworn on their tortoise Lives that they will not eat the sandwiches, he finally agrees. So Les sets off down the road at a steady pace.
Twenty days pass and he still isn't back and Mick and Alan are starving, but a promise is a promise.
Another five days and he still isn't back, but a promise is a promise. Finally they can't take it any longer so they take out a Sandwich each, and just as they are about to eat it, Les pops up from behind a rock and shouts........
"I KNEW IT!......I'M NOT F*CKING GOING!"
When they get there Mick unpacks the food and beer. "Ok Les Give me the bottle opener."
"I didn't bring it, " says Les. "I thought you packed it."
Mick gets worried, He turns to Alan, "Did you bring the bottle opener??"
Naturally Alan didn't bring it. So they're stuck ten miles from Home without a bottle opener. Mick and Alan beg Les to go back for It, but he refuses as he says they will eat all the sandwiches.
After two hours, and after they have sworn on their tortoise Lives that they will not eat the sandwiches, he finally agrees. So Les sets off down the road at a steady pace.
Twenty days pass and he still isn't back and Mick and Alan are starving, but a promise is a promise.
Another five days and he still isn't back, but a promise is a promise. Finally they can't take it any longer so they take out a Sandwich each, and just as they are about to eat it, Les pops up from behind a rock and shouts........
"I KNEW IT!......I'M NOT F*CKING GOING!"
i like shinny things
i am scared 
Thread Starter
what is he doing?
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 16,155
From: ny
Re: what do you think i stuck up my *** last night
Originally Posted by Kunty GF
but its not going to stop you.. your going to be walking funny.... good luck explaining that to the kids
Registered User
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 12,123
From: Northeast
Re: what do you think i stuck up my *** last night
Originally Posted by KC Becky
i dont know...by the time he gets here the water buffalo i've been using should stretch it out a little
