I live near a high school. Around the time I first started this, I used to go over there every so often to sell packs of cigarettes to these kids for ridiculous prices, just to spend the money on getting ******** from homeless people. But nowadays I don't have many friends, so I still make my way to the school once in a while, just to hang out with some kids and pass the time. Today was no different. Most of them think that I go to school there. Idiots.

After chilling with these losers and making some sweet cash, I headed over to the mall. Any time I go into a mall I pretend I'm disabled and make them give me one of those motorized wheelchairs.

I just slap my hand against my chest and mumble and scream and stomp my feet until they give me what I want. I'm a great ****ing actor. There are a couple of reasons I do this. First off, I really don't like having to walk around a big mall when I can just ride a little motorized wheelchair. These things are so ****ing comfortable and you can really get around fast in them when you put them in second gear. Secondly, other disabled chicks check you out, and some of them are even hot, if they didn't have a feeding tube and colostomy bag.

I spend the day in my motorized wheelchair zipping around the mall, hitting on chicks, in the way that only a premature balding **** webmaster pretending to be retarded can. Basically, when people see me coming they either start walking the other way or completely avoid making eye contact with me, for fear that if they look at me they'll become retarded and handicapped too. People are so ****ing ignorant and prejudiced against people with disabilities, and it disgusts me. Disabled people have feelings too.

When you really think about it, disabled people are lucky. They can get away with ****ing murder. You can run over people's feet, cop feels, be as rude as you want, and they won't say a thing because they feel sorry for you. Disabled people have it so easy, too. They get to drive around on these little golf carts and don't have to worry about things like their legs getting tired. Not to mention most of them can just **** and **** into a nice, clean diaper. I wish I had it that good.

At the mall I zip around in my wheelchair and feel up chicks asses and lift up their skirts while clapping wildly and drooling on myself. Their faces turn white from fear and they pretend it's not even happening. They are just so ****ing mortified they don't know what to do. If I'm feeling really sinister I'll go up to the hottest chick I can find and gurgle at her and ask her for her number while rubbing my hands up and down her thighs, and occasionally groping a titty or two... Once this fat black chick felt bad for me and gave me a handjob in the underground parking lot. It was ****ing awesome! Black people kick ***.

Another reason why disabled people live the good life: They can just roll into the food court, stop at a table where people are eating and just start eating their food. It's not like anyone will say no to them. When I do it, I just grab wads of other peoples food and shove it into my mouth and moan like a wookie. They let me do anything I want because I'm ****ing retarded for Christ's sake! No one says no to retards. I'm the ****ing king in my motorized wheelchair. After I have myself a nice meal, my favorite activity is to drive right into the women's washrooms and kick in the stall doors to scope out some poon. Try it some time, and you'll know what it's like to be me. Life can be great!

 

 

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