Why Women Are Cranky
12-08-2003, 04:42 PM
#1
I Enjoy Posting At StuntLife!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Shelby Twp., MI
Age: 43
Posts: 4,513
Why Women Are Cranky
Why Women are Cranky
We start to "bud" in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find anything
that comes in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurts so bad
it brings us to tears. Enter the almighty, uncomfortable training bra contraption
the boys in school will snap until we have calluses on our backs.
Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner).
Along with those budding *****, we now bloat, we cramp, we get
the hormone crankies, have to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert
tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had.
Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) is having sex
for the first time which is about as much fun as having a ramrod push your
uterus through your nostrils (IF he did it right and didn't end up with his little
cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about.
Then it's off to Motherhood where we learn to live on dry crackers and water
for a few months so we don't spend the entire day leaningover Brother John.
Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learn to
live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our
innards night and day making us wonder if we're having Rosemary's Baby.
Our once flat bellies now look like we swallowed a watermelon
whole and we pee our pants every time we sneeze.
When the big moment arrives, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions
will invariably burst right in the middle of the mall and we'll waddle
with our big cartoon feet moaning in pain all the way to the ER. Then
it's huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says, "Please stop
screaming, Mrs. Hear-me-roar. Calm down and push. Just one more
(or 10 ) good push," warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to
punch! the bastard (and hubby) square in the nose for making us cram
a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10lb. bowling ball through a keyhole.
After that, it's time to raise those angels only to find that when all
that "cute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings morph into walking,
jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines.
The teen years. Need I say more? The kids are almost grown now and
we women hit our voracious sexual prime in our mid-30's to early 40's
while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th birthday (which just
happens to be the reason all that early hot man sex got you pregnant in the first place).
Now we hit the grand finale: "The Menopause," the Grandmother of all
womanhood. It's either take the HRT and chance cancer in those now
seasoned "buds" or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like
a hog in July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head
off anything that moves.
Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men when men
get off so easy INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to pee
in the woods without soaking their socks...
Now I love being a woman but "Womanhood" would make
the Great Ghandi a tad crabby.
Women are the "weaker sex."?
Yeah, right. Bite me.
We start to "bud" in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find anything
that comes in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurts so bad
it brings us to tears. Enter the almighty, uncomfortable training bra contraption
the boys in school will snap until we have calluses on our backs.
Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner).
Along with those budding *****, we now bloat, we cramp, we get
the hormone crankies, have to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert
tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had.
Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) is having sex
for the first time which is about as much fun as having a ramrod push your
uterus through your nostrils (IF he did it right and didn't end up with his little
cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about.
Then it's off to Motherhood where we learn to live on dry crackers and water
for a few months so we don't spend the entire day leaningover Brother John.
Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learn to
live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our
innards night and day making us wonder if we're having Rosemary's Baby.
Our once flat bellies now look like we swallowed a watermelon
whole and we pee our pants every time we sneeze.
When the big moment arrives, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions
will invariably burst right in the middle of the mall and we'll waddle
with our big cartoon feet moaning in pain all the way to the ER. Then
it's huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says, "Please stop
screaming, Mrs. Hear-me-roar. Calm down and push. Just one more
(or 10 ) good push," warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to
punch! the bastard (and hubby) square in the nose for making us cram
a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10lb. bowling ball through a keyhole.
After that, it's time to raise those angels only to find that when all
that "cute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings morph into walking,
jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines.
The teen years. Need I say more? The kids are almost grown now and
we women hit our voracious sexual prime in our mid-30's to early 40's
while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th birthday (which just
happens to be the reason all that early hot man sex got you pregnant in the first place).
Now we hit the grand finale: "The Menopause," the Grandmother of all
womanhood. It's either take the HRT and chance cancer in those now
seasoned "buds" or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like
a hog in July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head
off anything that moves.
Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men when men
get off so easy INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to pee
in the woods without soaking their socks...
Now I love being a woman but "Womanhood" would make
the Great Ghandi a tad crabby.
Women are the "weaker sex."?
Yeah, right. Bite me.
12-08-2003, 10:19 PM
#11
I Enjoy Posting At StuntLife!
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Taylor
Age: 93
Posts: 4,544
some quotes............
1. Behind every good man there is a good woman and behind that another man looking at her ***
2.I love him, O yes I do,
He's for me, not for you,
And if by chance you take my place,
I'll take my fist and smash your face!
3.Guys are like lava lamps there fun to look at just not so bright!
4.If at first you don't succeed, cheat, repeat until caught, and then lie!
5.If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie!!
1. Behind every good man there is a good woman and behind that another man looking at her ***
2.I love him, O yes I do,
He's for me, not for you,
And if by chance you take my place,
I'll take my fist and smash your face!
3.Guys are like lava lamps there fun to look at just not so bright!
4.If at first you don't succeed, cheat, repeat until caught, and then lie!
5.If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie!!
12-08-2003, 10:36 PM
#12
Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Farmington Hills, MI
Age: 41
Posts: 1,100
Originally posted by sexybiker
some quotes............
1. Behind every good man there is a good woman and behind that another man looking at her ***
2.I love him, O yes I do,
He's for me, not for you,
And if by chance you take my place,
I'll take my fist and smash your face!
3.Guys are like lava lamps there fun to look at just not so bright!
4.If at first you don't succeed, cheat, repeat until caught, and then lie!
5.If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie!!
some quotes............
1. Behind every good man there is a good woman and behind that another man looking at her ***
2.I love him, O yes I do,
He's for me, not for you,
And if by chance you take my place,
I'll take my fist and smash your face!
3.Guys are like lava lamps there fun to look at just not so bright!
4.If at first you don't succeed, cheat, repeat until caught, and then lie!
5.If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie!!
-=bmacd=-
12-12-2003, 09:19 AM
#16
I Enjoy Posting At StuntLife!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Shelby Twp., MI
Age: 43
Posts: 4,513
Originally posted by DieselC
they are never satisfied always want want want buy more f'n shoes or something
they are never satisfied always want want want buy more f'n shoes or something
