Some good one liners
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Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 894
From: Clinton Township, MI
Some good one liners
!Which sexual position produces the ugliest
children?
Ask your Mom.
How do you know when you're really ugly?
Dogs hump your leg with their eyes closed
What is the quickest way to clear out a men's
restroom?
Say, "Nice Dick"
How do you know when you're leading a sad life?
When a nymphomaniac tells you, "Lets just
be friends,"
Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton *****.
Mom's have Mother's day, Dad's have Father's
day,what do single guys have?
Palm Sunday
Why is being in the Military like a *******?
The closer you get to discharge, the
better you feel.
What do you call a 90 year old man who can still
**********?
Miracle Whip
What does a 75 year old woman have between her
breasts?
Her Navel.
What has a whole bunch of little ***** and screws
old ladies?
A Bingo Machine.
What's the difference between a porcupine and a
BMW?
A porcupine has the ****** on the outside.
What did the blonde say when she found out she
was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"
What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer
Nuts?
Beer Nuts are $1.25, and Deer Nuts are
always under a buck.
What three two-letter words mean small?
"Is it in?"
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.
If you are having sex with two women and one more
walks in, what do you have?
Divorce proceedings most likely.
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
Everyone has the same DNA.
What do toilets, a clitoris, and an anniversary
have in common?
Men miss them all.
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.
What do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep
under each arm?
A pimp. (I know you are enjoying this one Lisa!!!!!!!!!!! whooa Larry!!!!!!!)
Why do drivers education classes in Redneck
schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays,
and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex
Ed. class uses it.
How do you get a sweet little 80 year old lady to
say "****"?
Get another sweet little 80 year old lady
to yell Bingo!"
It's not my fault I fell for you ... you tripped me!
children?
Ask your Mom.
How do you know when you're really ugly?
Dogs hump your leg with their eyes closed
What is the quickest way to clear out a men's
restroom?
Say, "Nice Dick"
How do you know when you're leading a sad life?
When a nymphomaniac tells you, "Lets just
be friends,"
Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton *****.
Mom's have Mother's day, Dad's have Father's
day,what do single guys have?
Palm Sunday
Why is being in the Military like a *******?
The closer you get to discharge, the
better you feel.
What do you call a 90 year old man who can still
**********?
Miracle Whip
What does a 75 year old woman have between her
breasts?
Her Navel.
What has a whole bunch of little ***** and screws
old ladies?
A Bingo Machine.
What's the difference between a porcupine and a
BMW?
A porcupine has the ****** on the outside.
What did the blonde say when she found out she
was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"
What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer
Nuts?
Beer Nuts are $1.25, and Deer Nuts are
always under a buck.
What three two-letter words mean small?
"Is it in?"
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.
If you are having sex with two women and one more
walks in, what do you have?
Divorce proceedings most likely.
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
Everyone has the same DNA.
What do toilets, a clitoris, and an anniversary
have in common?
Men miss them all.
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.
What do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep
under each arm?
A pimp. (I know you are enjoying this one Lisa!!!!!!!!!!! whooa Larry!!!!!!!)
Why do drivers education classes in Redneck
schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays,
and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex
Ed. class uses it.
How do you get a sweet little 80 year old lady to
say "****"?
Get another sweet little 80 year old lady
to yell Bingo!"
It's not my fault I fell for you ... you tripped me!
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