Quick thinking...
>
>A man walked into a supermarket with his zipper down. A lady cashier walked up to him and said, "Your barracks door is open." This is not
>a phrase men normally use, so he went on his way looking a bit puzzled.
>When he was about done shopping, a man came up and said, "Your fly is open." He zipped up and finished his shopping. He then intentionally got in the line to check out where the lady was that told him about
>his "barracks door". He was planning to have a little fun with her. When he reached her counter he said, "When you saw my barracks door open did you see a soldier standing in there at attention?"
>The lady (being smarter than a man) thought for a moment and said,
>"No, I didn't. All I saw was a disabled veteran sitting on two duffel bags.'

 

SKINNY DIPPING


An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice; picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond and look it over. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some apples. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"

The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked."

Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."

The moral of this story: Old men can still think fast.

 

Scary ****...

 

JESUS CHRIST!

 

No way!!!