May 11 - 20 2007
3493 miles
1 day of whitewater rafting on the New River WV
1/2 day swimming in the Outer Banks

overall route
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more detail
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these are what the majority of the roads look like except for the E-ways getting there and home.
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Named BBQ Tour because we have about 10 southern BBQ places mapped out to feast on famous North Carolina BBQ's.

Tent camping because we're cheap.

May 11, day 1: 885 miles
May 12, day 2: 443 miles
May 13, day 3: 460 miles
May 14, day 4: 429 miles
May 15, day 5&6: 480 miles, beach day
May 16, day 7: whitewater rafting
May 17, day 8: 435 miles
May 18, day 8: flex day
May 19 day 9: 400 miles home

If anyone wants to join let me know. We have 3 going so far.

 

I would go... But I don't feel like Shitting Blood after that first day of riding 800+ miles and eating nothing but BBQ...

 

too bad I dont have the vacation time... Looks Like a sweet trip..

 

huh? pork is good for you. There are lots of wives along the route too BJ.

on a side note, I cooked a delicious dinner last week. I think it deserves it's own thread it was so good.

 

Well, the BBQ tour is in full effect.

Jason and I met up near the Indiana border, he rode in from MN. On Friday morning, we rode for Knoxville, TN. We made it to near the KY border, and then it started to storm hard. We rode in it for about an hour before it got dark and we decided to get a room. Damn, cutting into the budget already. We drank some scotch, met an "ex" meth-head, who said "I quit that stuff, it's too messed up, I just do coke and weed now". Ha ha. Yeah, that's the ticket.
Just in case...well, I really can't think of a good reason, but Jason had this strapped to the bike.
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Here it is out of its sheath. Haha. I can't believe we haven't gotten arrested, or at least pulled over for having this damn thing stapped to the bike, but if we make it through the whole trip without a problem, I'm getting one.
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We drove to meet up with my brother Luke and other friend Rob the next morning. I saw signs for Waffle House, and had a good memory of them from a long time ago. We stopped and got the biggest meal on the menu...mistake number 1. Mistake number 2 was sitting so I could see into the kitchen when they opened the door. Trust me, you do not want to see what these minimun wage earners are doing in the kitchen around the food while your eating it.

Jason and I made it to Marrysville, TN and each took a HUGE **** while we waited for Luke and Rob. They showed up soon enough.
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We rode some sweet roads, ran with a corvette for a while until that got to boring, got lucky with passing a cop in the opposite lane while doubling the speed limit. Must have been end of shift cause he just waved his arms like a chicken, flashed his lights and kept going. Maybe someone was headed in to headquarters with donuts?

We camped out that night on the Blue Ridge Parkway. Had a nice campfire and drank some scotch.

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The next day, we got up and rode some more AWESOME roads. Pegs were scraping, speed limits were getting tripled in turns, and general lawlessness was the order of the day.
I didn't get many good riding shots, cause I'd be wrapped around a tree if I tried to get pics while riding on the good roads. I did get a few shots on the duller stretches.
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We were in North Carolina now, and riding along when we passed an old abandoned store. I glanced at it, and did a full stop, u-turn and went back for a photo op.
Yes, it seemed to fit very well with this group.
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I don't know if the resolution will come through, but the sign on the building says "RAPERS" and Jason and Rob were giving it to Luke from both ends. Damn homo rapers.

We made it to the first BBQ on the trip.
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Jason promptly lived up to his new raper status with the little peaceful scene that they had in front of the BBQ.
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Nice, we hadn't even gone in yet. Fortunately, they couldn't see what he did to their little barnyard creatures so we got good BBQ. mmmmmmmm.
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On the side of the restaraunt there was this little cartoon.
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Looks like the cow is selling out the chicken to the chef. "Hey chef, that chicken sure looks delicious" Ha ha.
After dinner, Luke wanted to "get some" too.
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Gross, I know, but then he licked his finger...
After dinner, we rode the Blue Ridge Parkway for 50-60 miles and camped there. 4 fat bellies in one tent. Jason was showing us what he wanted to do the rest of the little plastic pigs, and it was giving me...well, a picture is worth a thousand words.
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We rode some more rodes the next day, again, pics don't do any justice.
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I got sick pretty bad and went to the doctor for some meds. I got some antibiotics, steroids and darvocet. I pretty much passed out for a few hours in front of the next BBQ that we ate at.
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Delicious.
In the meantime, my buds were busy making us some toys to play with when we were on the E-way.
Ah, yes, first give them a little compliment, make then feel good about themselves.
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And then it's time to get down to business.
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Well, we haven't see any boobies YET, but BELIEVE me, its not for lack of trying. Haha.
Here is a picture for you Annie. There was a mule in the middle of all the cows. I know mules remind you of me because of my huge mule co(k.
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After my nap, I was feeling a little better.
Here I was explaining to my soon to be married brother about married life and where you get the most action from after your hitched.
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Well, at least it will be after Annie reads this. Haha.
So that night, we went to another BBQ joint. Mmmmm delicious.
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About this time I was wondering if Jarsh was right about his earlier comments in the thread. No blood yet though.
We rode some more
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to a campsite and built another nice fire.
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More whiskey and beer followed, and I had darvocet's. yummy.
Jason fell out of his hammock at least 4 times and rolled around in the dirt. Racoons raided our campsite and ate all his donuts. Haha. I hate donuts anyways.
Oh yeah, the previous night at about 7:55PM, we were pulling up to the campsite. A ranger was there and told us that they lock the campground gates at 8PM and unlock them at 8AM. He asked us if we were prepared to be locked in for the night. Rob said, no problem, the posts next to the gate are wide enough for us to ride through in case we want to get out. Ha ha, little joke right? <in Borat voice> NOT! The cop goes, "well then I'll take you to jail boy". OK whatever. So we stay the night etc, and the next morning when we leave, the gates are open, but Rob, being the guy that he is decides that riding through the posts will be like giving the cop the finger. OK, I can't fault him there. However, if I was him, I would have rode through without hitting the post with my saddle bag, ripping it off the bike and leaving my underware and clothes strewn out on the roadside like a yardsale. Haha.
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for sale...CHEAP!
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the damaged side case, which we managed to fix with a hammer and a tie down strap.
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So after we got the case fixed and got back on the road, we decided to make it to the Outer Banks today. Rock on. Unfortuately, we are behind scedule because of my being sick and eating so much that we have to rest after a meal. Whatever, we put some miles down today, but they were all expressway.
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Rob telling me I'm number one.
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Jason too.
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We decided to get a little stunting in. Look ma, no hands.
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But then my brother decided to show me up, no hands AND no feet. Unbelievable. Stunaz!!!
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We stopped in Raleigh for what has been called the best BBQ in the state. Clyde Coopers BBQ. Since 1936. Mmmmmmmmm. It was fu(king delicious. Seriously.
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I shook hands with this guy even before I had the BBQ, just because it looked that good inside. You could tell it was going to be good.
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They even had a great sense of humor, this was the note on the checkout counter selling pig ears.
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Don't mess with me when I'm eating the greates BBQ in NC biatch.
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We ate outside on the sidewalk so we could get a look at some of the local talent. Mmmm, delicious...I mean the BBQ Annie, honestly.
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We were eating and this cat rolls up on this mighty steed!
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I asked him if he made it himself, yup, you guessed it, totall custom job. haha. he had taped all the cheetah print to his bike, added a stereo and speakers and a bunch of other gadgets. On the back of his vest, he had his name taped on with the same cheetah print. The bike had it's name as it's license plate. Rob wanted a pic with him.
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Oh, what was the name you want to know??? Get ready...
I asked him if he had a name for the bike and he says
"Yeah I do, I named it 'The Wild Thang'"
He gets on to pedal away and his parting words are
"And they call me 'Sho Nuff'".
Haha. True to his claim, both the bike and the man had their names in cheetah on their backs.
I was laughing to hard to get a pic.
We rode for a while, and finally crossed the bridge to the outer banks.
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When we got to Nags head, we went north and asked around for the best seafood. All the locals agreed, it was Awful Arthurs.
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Inside, they even had a little talent of their own. It may not look like it in the picture, but I was actually resting my head on these nice little chest pillows. For real. It's just the lighting...and the angle...seriously!
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And another dinner that would choke a horse. I had marinated Wahoo, soft shelled crab and oysters. mmmmmm
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It's funny, they say oysters make you horny, but I have never experienced that when I eat oysters so I totally discounted that theory. Until tonight, oysters sure turned these 2 into a couple of homos.
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After dinner and a few beers we sat on the beach and watched the waves. After some more beers, we met a friend on the beach and decided to bring her back to the motel. She wanted to freshen up in the bathroom and do her makeup in the mirror first though.
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We were going to get down to business and eat her out, but she kind of smelled like tuna (ha, no surprise there) so we decided to give her a bath first.
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Well, like a true woman, she complained that the water was too cold. Being that all 4 of us are engineers, we quickly engineered a solution to her problem.
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And if that wasn't enough, we even made her a steam room.

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Well now, I would assume were all on the same page here, you can see that we treated her like gentlemen and catered to her every whim so now it was time for us to get some. We had planned to run a train on her, but Jason ate her so good that there was none left for anyone else.
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After all the excitement, these party animals were ready to get some more action.
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well, maybe not.
I popped a few darvocet, so for some reason I am up and unable to sleep so I thought I would catch you all up to where we are.
I'll try to do better on some of the good riding pics, but it's hard, the last thing I'm thinking about while scraping pegs is you bastages.
One last pic.
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Yes, that's the same windshield that was on the bike that I wrecked. See how bad it is Tony? I have to use salvaged parts just so I can have a DR sticker. By the way, if Ryan still lurks here, special thanks for that whole thing. I really appreciate getting that windshield back.

One last thing. We were rolling along in a 55, doing around 70-75 when a black Dodge Charger passed us. He got in front of all of us and BLAM, on come the lights. Uh oh. He slowed down and stopped blocking the road so none of us could pass, he wanted all of us. He gets out, and spouts off some drivel about last week there were 12 people riding and 1 fell down and 11 of them died. I wanted to say " I bet they were on Harleys, were they going or coming from a bar?", but I kept my mouth shut. He said he was going to let us go, and stupidly I wondered just how fast we were going because I didn't know (or care). I asked him and he said "Oh, do you want me to write it down for you? Cause I can. I can write it down for all 4 of you" I gave him the 'no sir' he was looking for and that was that. Haha. Dick, after thinking about it, I be he didn't have us on radar and that's why he let us go. Whatever.
I hate being pulled over and all the people you just blew around are driving by, probably thinking "hahahahaha he got what he deserved". So, if you ever see a bike pulled over and are thinking that, just know that I'm thinking "Fu(k you biatch, as soon as this cop shuts his co(kholster I'm just going to pass your slow @ss again and faster this time because now I'm even later than I was".
There, that's your moment of Zen.

 

The Rapers

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Rapers is about 1 1/2 hours from my house. I take that way up to Knoxville. Did you pass the little shack that has "Jr. College" on it.

 

screw this thread it just makes me jealous two years since I've been able to take a bike trip and this year doesnt look good either. Glad your havin a good time out there Jake, be safe bro (and I don't mean you should buy some rubbers!)

 

Yep Jake the single life must be great.......opps, forgot you were married now. Well, I could have went on the trip but would have been divorced. That would cost 1/2 of what I don't have and a nice monthly payment for about, let's say, 13 years. So PLEASE keep posting so I can live life thru your trips. LOOKS LIKE FUN. You should see the pic's Annie has posted from her trip while your gone. Give us a call when you get back if Annie hasn't killed you by then.

 

Looks like fun...

who wouldn't like to ride goldwings cross country, sleep with men and pork pigs..

 

Damn, I thought u were in ATL. Should have looked you up. Oh well, next time. I'm having such a good time that I want to take Anne down here in July so maybe we'll hook up then. Want to go to Rapers with me? You bring your wife and I'll bring mine. lol.

 

Thanks bro, I'll eat some BBQ for you.

 

What trip? Where'd she go?

 

lmao...Toni.

 

Ok, so where were we?

Ah yes, the Outer Banks.

We woke up at the Days Inn in Kill Devil Hills, near Kitty Hawk. We lounged around a bit watching the locals work their daily jobs, thinking of the long dreary hours we would be putting in next week, selling the best years of our lives for a few pieces of paper.
That thought was depressing, but watching the pool cleaner mix chemicals in the bed of the truck seemed to cheer us up for some reason.
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We took a quick stroll on the beach in front of the hotel. I quickly saw this girl tanning, and noticed the mole on her back. I was worried she would get skin cancer so I took a picture of it to make her aware of the danger.
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We rode over to Kitty Hawk where the Wright Brothers had their first flight and saw this crazy lady on a Goldwing Trike. I imagined Toni riding bit(h on the back of it and the day got even better.
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This rock is a marker for where their first motorized flight took off from. Of course, we had to mount and conquer it.
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There was a huge sand hill there where the Wright Brothers used to launch their gliders off of, and they have a huge monument built on the top of it.
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As soon as we pulled in, I said "Dude, I'm riding to the top of that!". So after touring the museum and stuff, I did exactly that. It was sweet. Cool view from up there.
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The view was so good that I could see a park ranger stalking me from the road below in his Suburban. Uh oh.
I tested him to see if he was really interested in me by riding down the back of the hill, and he passed the test. He must have heard the donkey rumor.
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NOPE!
He was more interested in my license, registration and insurance.
So while his back was turned, I showed the boys what I thought of the situation.
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Of course, before I did it, the naysayers (Jason, Luke and Rob) all told me not to do it. So, in their moment of glory Jason rode by getting pics of me taking it from the Ranger. Well, after he was done with me he went over to Jason and got his license and gave him a written warning for riding 'dangerously'. Jason asked why, PowerRanger said 'because you were riding with no hands on the bars'. Jason said " I had one hand on the bars". PowerTripRanger "I disagree with you sir". So he got one of these too.
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He who laughs last and all that...looks like it worked out for Luke!
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Me, not so much.
Anyways, with the locals all in a tizzie because someone drove a *gasp* motorcycle on a sidewalk we decided to head south and see some lighthouses.
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This was Bodie lighthouse.
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There was something about the pirates used to use it to lure ships there and then attack them but I was still stewing over the PowerTripRanger that I didn't catch that part of the story in full. The important thing to take from the pic is that I'm throwing a double shocker.
We rode over some bridges.
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And through some dunes.
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I decided to take my mighty steed off road for a bit.
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We boarded a ferry to take us to Ocracoke island.
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And finally found a good use for the machete. When coupled with the appropriate flag, it transforms you into a bucanner! Aaargh!
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After raping and pillaging every single hot woman on the ferry (there were none, ha.) we headed into downtown Ocracoke in search of provision for the night. We were late and everyplace was closed, but we saw a couple fishermen unloading their boat and managed to score some blue fish and clams from them. It doesn't get fresher than this.
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I like to at least wait until the scales are off the fish and the poop sac is removed before biting into them, but not everyone thinks like me.
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Have you seen this new fad going around where people hang nut sacks off the bumpers of their trucks? Motorcycles can do it too. My sack of clams.
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We got into camp in the fading dusk. Rob had rigged up a pole on his bike and was flying the Jolly Roger. It was cool.
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The wind was really blasting on the beach and the sparks were blowing straight sideways. Rob wondered if you could catch them on your tongue like snowflakes.
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Jason prepared the fillets with onions, butter and bacon. Mmmm, delicious.
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After dinner and a case of beer we went for a walk on the beach. There were hundreds of crabs out there. We managed to catch a few of them.
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Unbeknownst to us, one of the smaller Ultimate Fighting Championships circuits was in town that night. We stopped by and managed to get ring side seats. The action was unreal. These guys were real savages. Appendages were ripped off, eyes were gouged out and death was in the air.
Ultimate Crabfighting Championship, Semi-Finals, round 3.
(PETA members not permitted)
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After the show, we were tired out from the long day (about 40 miles on the bikes, whew). Just in case any ladies are out there and think Rob is hot, don't be discouraged if your a few pounds overweight or look like a retarded horse, Rob will sleep with anything!!!
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Today we woke up and headed down to catch the next ferry that would take us back to the mainland. We had the pleasure of being in the lounge with 30 high school? 8th grade? kids on some kind of a trip. It was loads of fun watching them behave like idiots and text message each other when they were sitting across the table from the recipient. I haven't heard the tag line in a while, but if they still say that "the childred are the future" then I hope they weren't talking about these ones. If so, spend all the money you have NOW, there will be no future.
We drove into Morehead NC and feasted on a seafood lunch. It was alright, but not nearly as good as Jason's dinner the night before. However, what it lacked in quality, we made up for in quantity. So much so that we drove 4 blocks to the nearest park and passed out on the cement.
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After regaining conciousness, we drove 2 hours to Greenville and prepared to mow down at B's BBQ. Upon arrival we learned some key information. B's is so damned good that they are only open for 2 hours a day. That's how long it takes them to sell out of all the BBQ for the day. They start serving around 1030 and finish at 1230. It was 8 when we got there. Not good. We had heard a lot about B's. They even have the road they are on named after them. I'll have to get a pic of that. Anyway, we had planned to drive up to Virginia today, but figured what the hell, let's get a room and hit B's in the morning. So we did. BUT, we had not eaten BBQ yet today. So Rob did some recon and found Boss Hoggs. lol. With a name like that, you know it's going to be good.
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and it was, filling too.
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We got some scotch and beers and had a little victory party. Its our last night together (not like that you sickos). Tomorrow, Rob and Luke head up the Eastern seaboard bound for NJ and NH. Jason and I will ride to Cincinnati together and then I'll head up 75 towards the loving embrace of my sweet Annie. Awwwwww. Hopefully Jarsh and Dan will be gone before I get there. Hey, you think you guys could mow the lawn on your way out?
It's the least you could do.