The BAN NINER from our FORUM THREAD
Lacks self-control
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 7,584
From: Birch Run, MI
Re: The BAN NINER from our FORUM THREAD
Originally Posted by r1dude
Ban FJakeR because he doesn't bowl or get laid by Annie anymore now that he's in Germany. And for not posting lately to say hi.
Registered User
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 633
From: Sao Paulo, Brazil
Re: The BAN NINER from our FORUM THREAD
Originally Posted by r1dude
Ban FJakeR because he doesn't bowl or get laid by Annie anymore now that he's in Germany. And for not posting lately to say hi.
Lacks self-control
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 7,584
From: Birch Run, MI
Re: The BAN NINER from our FORUM THREAD
Originally Posted by FJakeR
gee sorry, i thought Joni was keeping you up to date. I talk to her almost every night, and it's not ALWAYS phone sex either.
Registered User
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 633
From: Sao Paulo, Brazil
Re: The BAN NINER from our FORUM THREAD
Originally Posted by cbr9two9guy
Speaking of Phone Sex.. your woman cuddles didnt call me back with that number last night! 
Disturbed Riders
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 3,779
From: Flint Town, MI
Re: The BAN NINER from our FORUM THREAD
Originally Posted by FJakeR
hmmph, though i had her trained better than that. Guess I'll have to get out the brass knuckes and 2x4 when i get home again. Great, more trips to the ER because she "fell down the stairs" and "bumped her eye against the door" again.
Registered User
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 633
From: Sao Paulo, Brazil
Re: The BAN NINER from our FORUM THREAD
Originally Posted by r1dude
Hey thanks for those tips, I've been using that "fell down the stairs" since you told me that one.......it works great.
Rubber hoses across the stomach leave no marks(other than a big red welt, but that goes away in an hour or so). Other explanations that I throw at those pesky prying ER docs are "She fell off her bicycle"(on days when the belt sander is required. ie: no dinner cooked when you get home), "she fell out of a tree"(for: broken bones/cause: laundry issues. *Note:very rarely used, broken bones can be set at home and rarely require a trip to the hospital. Exception would be anything that would affect the jaw performance (BJ's) or the dexterity of the fingers(HJ or folding laundry)), "she fell off a pier, hit a rock and almost drowned"(when you have to hold that b!tch under water in the tub for not vacuuming under the couch. *Note:works better when you bash her head against the bathroom tiles first, less splashing water all over the floor, it's less for her to mop up after she learns her lesson. Try to be nice and make less of a mess around the house for her), "she burned herself on the stove"(pretty obvious, cigarette/cigar tort...treatment for not ironing your clothes(They usually forget to do the socks). *Note: an iron really helps get the message across, also, it's very IRONic. sorry.), and if things get really ugly one day don't forget your trump card. "She was in a car accident"(Usually reserved for finding her talking to a guy friend on the phone) Don't forget to mention that she was thrown from the car and the muffler landed on her *insert body part that you applied curling iron to*.
If you ever have an slight problem(she dies), just give me a call and we can come up with something(wood chipper). Don't look at the negatives, I mean, I bet your flowers will bloom like no other that year with that fertilizer.
Lacks self-control
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 7,584
From: Birch Run, MI
Re: The BAN NINER from our FORUM THREAD
Originally Posted by FJakeR
Gotta be careful though. Switch it up a little, go to different hospitals (only if absolutely necessary. ie: unconcious for more than 3 hours) vary your explanations, use different "implements" etc.
Rubber hoses across the stomach leave no marks(other than a big red welt, but that goes away in an hour or so). Other explanations that I throw at those pesky prying ER docs are "She fell off her bicycle"(on days when the belt sander is required. ie: no dinner cooked when you get home), "she fell out of a tree"(for: broken bones/cause: laundry issues. *Note:very rarely used, broken bones can be set at home and rarely require a trip to the hospital. Exception would be anything that would affect the jaw performance (BJ's) or the dexterity of the fingers(HJ or folding laundry)), "she fell off a pier, hit a rock and almost drowned"(when you have to hold that b!tch under water in the tub for not vacuuming under the couch. *Note:works better when you bash her head against the bathroom tiles first, less splashing water all over the floor, it's less for her to mop up after she learns her lesson. Try to be nice and make less of a mess around the house for her), "she burned herself on the stove"(pretty obvious, cigarette/cigar tort...treatment for not ironing your clothes(They usually forget to do the socks). *Note: an iron really helps get the message across, also, it's very IRONic. sorry.), and if things get really ugly one day don't forget your trump card. "She was in a car accident"(Usually reserved for finding her talking to a guy friend on the phone) Don't forget to mention that she was thrown from the car and the muffler landed on her *insert body part that you applied curling iron to*.
If you ever have an slight problem(she dies), just give me a call and we can come up with something(wood chipper). Don't look at the negatives, I mean, I bet your flowers will bloom like no other that year with that fertilizer.
Rubber hoses across the stomach leave no marks(other than a big red welt, but that goes away in an hour or so). Other explanations that I throw at those pesky prying ER docs are "She fell off her bicycle"(on days when the belt sander is required. ie: no dinner cooked when you get home), "she fell out of a tree"(for: broken bones/cause: laundry issues. *Note:very rarely used, broken bones can be set at home and rarely require a trip to the hospital. Exception would be anything that would affect the jaw performance (BJ's) or the dexterity of the fingers(HJ or folding laundry)), "she fell off a pier, hit a rock and almost drowned"(when you have to hold that b!tch under water in the tub for not vacuuming under the couch. *Note:works better when you bash her head against the bathroom tiles first, less splashing water all over the floor, it's less for her to mop up after she learns her lesson. Try to be nice and make less of a mess around the house for her), "she burned herself on the stove"(pretty obvious, cigarette/cigar tort...treatment for not ironing your clothes(They usually forget to do the socks). *Note: an iron really helps get the message across, also, it's very IRONic. sorry.), and if things get really ugly one day don't forget your trump card. "She was in a car accident"(Usually reserved for finding her talking to a guy friend on the phone) Don't forget to mention that she was thrown from the car and the muffler landed on her *insert body part that you applied curling iron to*.
If you ever have an slight problem(she dies), just give me a call and we can come up with something(wood chipper). Don't look at the negatives, I mean, I bet your flowers will bloom like no other that year with that fertilizer.
Thread Starter
I Enjoy Posting At StuntLife!
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 3,244
From: flint
Re: The BAN NINER from our FORUM THREAD
Originally Posted by FJakeR
Gotta be careful though. Switch it up a little, go to different hospitals (only if absolutely necessary. ie: unconcious for more than 3 hours) vary your explanations, use different "implements" etc.
Rubber hoses across the stomach leave no marks(other than a big red welt, but that goes away in an hour or so). Other explanations that I throw at those pesky prying ER docs are "She fell off her bicycle"(on days when the belt sander is required. ie: no dinner cooked when you get home), "she fell out of a tree"(for: broken bones/cause: laundry issues. *Note:very rarely used, broken bones can be set at home and rarely require a trip to the hospital. Exception would be anything that would affect the jaw performance (BJ's) or the dexterity of the fingers(HJ or folding laundry)), "she fell off a pier, hit a rock and almost drowned"(when you have to hold that b!tch under water in the tub for not vacuuming under the couch. *Note:works better when you bash her head against the bathroom tiles first, less splashing water all over the floor, it's less for her to mop up after she learns her lesson. Try to be nice and make less of a mess around the house for her), "she burned herself on the stove"(pretty obvious, cigarette/cigar tort...treatment for not ironing your clothes(They usually forget to do the socks). *Note: an iron really helps get the message across, also, it's very IRONic. sorry.), and if things get really ugly one day don't forget your trump card. "She was in a car accident"(Usually reserved for finding her talking to a guy friend on the phone) Don't forget to mention that she was thrown from the car and the muffler landed on her *insert body part that you applied curling iron to*.
If you ever have an slight problem(she dies), just give me a call and we can come up with something(wood chipper). Don't look at the negatives, I mean, I bet your flowers will bloom like no other that year with that fertilizer.
Rubber hoses across the stomach leave no marks(other than a big red welt, but that goes away in an hour or so). Other explanations that I throw at those pesky prying ER docs are "She fell off her bicycle"(on days when the belt sander is required. ie: no dinner cooked when you get home), "she fell out of a tree"(for: broken bones/cause: laundry issues. *Note:very rarely used, broken bones can be set at home and rarely require a trip to the hospital. Exception would be anything that would affect the jaw performance (BJ's) or the dexterity of the fingers(HJ or folding laundry)), "she fell off a pier, hit a rock and almost drowned"(when you have to hold that b!tch under water in the tub for not vacuuming under the couch. *Note:works better when you bash her head against the bathroom tiles first, less splashing water all over the floor, it's less for her to mop up after she learns her lesson. Try to be nice and make less of a mess around the house for her), "she burned herself on the stove"(pretty obvious, cigarette/cigar tort...treatment for not ironing your clothes(They usually forget to do the socks). *Note: an iron really helps get the message across, also, it's very IRONic. sorry.), and if things get really ugly one day don't forget your trump card. "She was in a car accident"(Usually reserved for finding her talking to a guy friend on the phone) Don't forget to mention that she was thrown from the car and the muffler landed on her *insert body part that you applied curling iron to*.
If you ever have an slight problem(she dies), just give me a call and we can come up with something(wood chipper). Don't look at the negatives, I mean, I bet your flowers will bloom like no other that year with that fertilizer.
mental note: dont **** jake off
Disturbed Riders
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 3,779
From: Flint Town, MI
Re: The BAN NINER from our FORUM THREAD
Originally Posted by FJakeR
Gotta be careful though. Switch it up a little, go to different hospitals (only if absolutely necessary. ie: unconcious for more than 3 hours) vary your explanations, use different "implements" etc.
Rubber hoses across the stomach leave no marks(other than a big red welt, but that goes away in an hour or so). Other explanations that I throw at those pesky prying ER docs are "She fell off her bicycle"(on days when the belt sander is required. ie: no dinner cooked when you get home), "she fell out of a tree"(for: broken bones/cause: laundry issues. *Note:very rarely used, broken bones can be set at home and rarely require a trip to the hospital. Exception would be anything that would affect the jaw performance (BJ's) or the dexterity of the fingers(HJ or folding laundry)), "she fell off a pier, hit a rock and almost drowned"(when you have to hold that b!tch under water in the tub for not vacuuming under the couch. *Note:works better when you bash her head against the bathroom tiles first, less splashing water all over the floor, it's less for her to mop up after she learns her lesson. Try to be nice and make less of a mess around the house for her), "she burned herself on the stove"(pretty obvious, cigarette/cigar tort...treatment for not ironing your clothes(They usually forget to do the socks). *Note: an iron really helps get the message across, also, it's very IRONic. sorry.), and if things get really ugly one day don't forget your trump card. "She was in a car accident"(Usually reserved for finding her talking to a guy friend on the phone) Don't forget to mention that she was thrown from the car and the muffler landed on her *insert body part that you applied curling iron to*.
If you ever have an slight problem(she dies), just give me a call and we can come up with something(wood chipper). Don't look at the negatives, I mean, I bet your flowers will bloom like no other that year with that fertilizer.
Rubber hoses across the stomach leave no marks(other than a big red welt, but that goes away in an hour or so). Other explanations that I throw at those pesky prying ER docs are "She fell off her bicycle"(on days when the belt sander is required. ie: no dinner cooked when you get home), "she fell out of a tree"(for: broken bones/cause: laundry issues. *Note:very rarely used, broken bones can be set at home and rarely require a trip to the hospital. Exception would be anything that would affect the jaw performance (BJ's) or the dexterity of the fingers(HJ or folding laundry)), "she fell off a pier, hit a rock and almost drowned"(when you have to hold that b!tch under water in the tub for not vacuuming under the couch. *Note:works better when you bash her head against the bathroom tiles first, less splashing water all over the floor, it's less for her to mop up after she learns her lesson. Try to be nice and make less of a mess around the house for her), "she burned herself on the stove"(pretty obvious, cigarette/cigar tort...treatment for not ironing your clothes(They usually forget to do the socks). *Note: an iron really helps get the message across, also, it's very IRONic. sorry.), and if things get really ugly one day don't forget your trump card. "She was in a car accident"(Usually reserved for finding her talking to a guy friend on the phone) Don't forget to mention that she was thrown from the car and the muffler landed on her *insert body part that you applied curling iron to*.
If you ever have an slight problem(she dies), just give me a call and we can come up with something(wood chipper). Don't look at the negatives, I mean, I bet your flowers will bloom like no other that year with that fertilizer.
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post
