Workplace Vocab
04-05-2004, 01:37 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Grand Rapids, MI
Age: 45
Posts: 213
Workplace Vocab
NEW WORDS FOR 2004: Essential additions for the workplace vocabulary:
BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a
deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was
responsible.
SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise,
craps on everything, and then leaves.
>
ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb
success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than
working hard.
>
SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming
upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.
>
CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles
>
PRAIRIE *******: When someone yells or drops something loudly
in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to
see what's going on.
>
MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the
couch potato.
>
SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage.
What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them
stops working to stay home with the kids.
>
STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed
out and whiney.
>
SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless
because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
>
XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from
one's workplace copy machine.
>
IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are
annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them.
The J-Lo and Ben wedding (or not) was a prime example.
>
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out
of an electronic device to get it to work again.
>
ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning
Just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the
adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant
to the problems they were designed to solve.
>
404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error
message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document
could not be located.
>
GENERICA: Features of the American landscape that are exactly
the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints,
strip malls, and subdivisions.
>
OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you
realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.
>
WOOF'S: Well-Off Older Folks.
>
CROP DUSTING: Surreptitiously farting while passing through a
Cube Farm.
BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a
deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was
responsible.
SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise,
craps on everything, and then leaves.
>
ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb
success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than
working hard.
>
SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming
upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.
>
CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles
>
PRAIRIE *******: When someone yells or drops something loudly
in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to
see what's going on.
>
MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the
couch potato.
>
SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage.
What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them
stops working to stay home with the kids.
>
STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed
out and whiney.
>
SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless
because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
>
XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from
one's workplace copy machine.
>
IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are
annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them.
The J-Lo and Ben wedding (or not) was a prime example.
>
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out
of an electronic device to get it to work again.
>
ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning
Just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the
adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant
to the problems they were designed to solve.
>
404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error
message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document
could not be located.
>
GENERICA: Features of the American landscape that are exactly
the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints,
strip malls, and subdivisions.
>
OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you
realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.
>
WOOF'S: Well-Off Older Folks.
>
CROP DUSTING: Surreptitiously farting while passing through a
Cube Farm.
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