Corporate lessons
03-01-2004, 11:44 AM
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Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: LI, NY and I drive in Australia
Age: 47
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Corporate lessons
Got this off another site
Corporate Lesson 1
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower
when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing over which one
should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives up, quickly wraps herself
up in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands
Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give
you 800 dollars to drop that towel that you have on." After thinking for a
moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a
few seconds, Bob hands her 800 dollars and leaves. Confused, but excited
about her good fortune, the woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back
upstairs. When she gets back to the bathroom, her husband asks from the
shower, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.
"Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the 800 dollars he
owes me?"
Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit
and risk in time with your stockholders', you may be in a position to
prevent avoidable exposure.
----------------------------
Corporate Lesson 2
A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road, he stopped
and offered her a lift, which she accepted. She got in and crossed her legs,
forcing her gown to open and reveal a lovely leg. The priest had a look and
nearly had an accident. After regaining control of the car, he stealthily
slid his hand up her leg. The nun looked at him and immediately said,
"Father, remember Psalm 129." The priest was flustered and apologized
profusely. He forced himself to remove his hand. However, he was unable to
remove his eyes from her leg. Further on while changing gear, he let his
hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember
Psalm 129." Once again the priest apologized. "Sorry, Sister, but the flesh
is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun got out, gave him a meaningful
glance and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed
to retrieve a Bible and looked up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek;
further up, you will find glory."
Moral of the story: Always be well informed in your job, or you may miss a
great opportunity.
----------------------------
Corporate Lesson 3
A sales rep, an administration clerk and their manager are walking to lunch
when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a
puff of smoke. The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll
give you one each." "Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to
be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof!
She's gone. In astonishment, "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I
want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an
endless supply of pina coladas and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone.
"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want
those two back in the office after lunch."
Moral of the story: Always let your boss speak first.
Corporate Lesson 1
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower
when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing over which one
should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives up, quickly wraps herself
up in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands
Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give
you 800 dollars to drop that towel that you have on." After thinking for a
moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a
few seconds, Bob hands her 800 dollars and leaves. Confused, but excited
about her good fortune, the woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back
upstairs. When she gets back to the bathroom, her husband asks from the
shower, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.
"Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the 800 dollars he
owes me?"
Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit
and risk in time with your stockholders', you may be in a position to
prevent avoidable exposure.
----------------------------
Corporate Lesson 2
A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road, he stopped
and offered her a lift, which she accepted. She got in and crossed her legs,
forcing her gown to open and reveal a lovely leg. The priest had a look and
nearly had an accident. After regaining control of the car, he stealthily
slid his hand up her leg. The nun looked at him and immediately said,
"Father, remember Psalm 129." The priest was flustered and apologized
profusely. He forced himself to remove his hand. However, he was unable to
remove his eyes from her leg. Further on while changing gear, he let his
hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember
Psalm 129." Once again the priest apologized. "Sorry, Sister, but the flesh
is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun got out, gave him a meaningful
glance and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed
to retrieve a Bible and looked up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek;
further up, you will find glory."
Moral of the story: Always be well informed in your job, or you may miss a
great opportunity.
----------------------------
Corporate Lesson 3
A sales rep, an administration clerk and their manager are walking to lunch
when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a
puff of smoke. The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll
give you one each." "Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to
be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof!
She's gone. In astonishment, "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I
want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an
endless supply of pina coladas and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone.
"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want
those two back in the office after lunch."
Moral of the story: Always let your boss speak first.
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