To Whom It May Concern:


I, Mr. *****, hereby request a raise in salary for the following
reasons:
I do physical labor
I work at great depths
I plunge head first into everything I do I do not get weekends off or
public holidays I work in a damp environment
I don't get paid overtime
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation I work in high
temperatures
My work exposes me to contagious diseases
Dear Mr. *****,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have
raised, the administration rejects your request for the following
reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight
You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods You do not always
follow the orders of the management team
You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in
order to start working
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing
the correct protective clothing
You'll retire well before reaching 65
You're unable to work double shifts
You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have completed
the day's work
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and
leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags.
Sincerely,
The Management