Dear Tide:
I'm writing to say what an excellent product you have. I've used it
since the beginning of married life, when my mom told me it was
the best. In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new
white blouse. My husband started to berate me about
my drinking problem. One thing led to another and I ended up with a lot
of his blood on my white blouse as well. I tried to get the stain out
using a bargain detergent, but it just wouldn't come out. After a quick
trip out, I stopped and got a bottle of liquid Tide with bleach
alternative, and all of the stains came out! They came out so well, in
fact, that the DNA tests were
negative! I thank you, once again, for a great product.

Well, gotta go. I have to write a letter to the Hefty bag people.

 

lmao