Hero of the day

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Old Apr 6, 2006 | 07:17 AM
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Hero of the day

This Guys good...


I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?"

I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that ***** knows I'm smarter than her.
Old Apr 8, 2006 | 10:10 PM
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Re: Hero of the day

that was funny ****!!
Old Jun 3, 2006 | 02:50 PM
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Re: Hero of the day

that was good real good!
Old Jun 3, 2006 | 02:52 PM
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Re: Hero of the day

bwahahahah...

hmmm.. i bet the guy couldnt see for a week *giggles*
Old Jul 16, 2006 | 12:22 AM
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Re: Hero of the day

if you cant laugh at that you can just get the hell out of here cause thats funny right there!
Old Jul 16, 2006 | 09:06 PM
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Re: Hero of the day

hahahahahaha good stuff
Old Jul 17, 2006 | 06:36 PM
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Re: Hero of the day

haha

funny
Old Sep 24, 2006 | 02:06 PM
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Re: Hero of the day

lmao :YEAH
Old Nov 13, 2006 | 06:39 AM
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Re: Hero of the day

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahaha priceless!!!
Old Nov 13, 2006 | 04:05 PM
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Re: Hero of the day

imagine the look on her face
Old Nov 13, 2006 | 04:13 PM
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Re: Hero of the day

I need to do that **** to my g/f!
Old Nov 14, 2006 | 03:46 PM
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Re: Hero of the day

Originally Posted by Cathi
bwahahahah...

hmmm.. i bet the guy couldnt see for a week *giggles*
we're supposed to get it weekly?!?
Old Nov 15, 2006 | 04:07 AM
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Re: Hero of the day

lol.. good stuff
Old Dec 6, 2006 | 02:39 AM
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Re: Hero of the day

man of the year!
Old Mar 11, 2007 | 04:44 PM
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Re: Hero of the day

i am waiting for my girl to say that ...
Old Mar 12, 2007 | 11:40 AM
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Re: Hero of the day

REEEEEEEE-POST! But still funny none the less!!!
Old Mar 12, 2007 | 11:41 AM
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Re: Hero of the day

hahaha thats good ****
Old Mar 13, 2007 | 02:18 PM
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Re: Hero of the day

It's funny cuz it's true. Men use women for sex and women use men for money.
That's what makes the world go round.
Old Mar 14, 2007 | 01:35 PM
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Re: Hero of the day

Which would also mean that every woman is a ho right? Being as in the long run every man has to pay for sex?
Old Mar 14, 2007 | 02:06 PM
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Re: Hero of the day

Well there is no such thing as free *****. So ya that pretty much makes them all *****'s.



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